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Elly4 #2544397 03/04/15 04:44 AM
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I can totally relate to what you are saying. I live in a very small town. I have not had anyone to talk to at all. I have read Divorce Remedy and I am reading it again. I have taken notes on things I need to work on. And I have made my list of goals. I am going to change them a little because my situation has changed some. Reading the posts, especially the posts cadet put on your welcome post has helped me a ton. I keep reading them and ask the vets on here for advice. They know. Some of it is hard, but they know. I was so lost till I came here.


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Joe46 #2544415 03/04/15 08:49 AM
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I think I've read the book four times now. I'm doing my 180s and LRT but it's hard. I have found some ways to GAL which has helped. Susan has been a huge help too. It's very hard to have patience though.


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Elly4 #2544418 03/04/15 09:06 AM
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Happy to help as much as I can, Eirinn. I know it's hard to be patient. Just keep on going! And GAL some more if you can, it's helped me a lot!


Me 28 / H 28
M 1 / T 2.5
BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more"
Still living together, separate rooms.
Elly4 #2544504 03/04/15 03:13 PM
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Patience has always been hard for me. I struggle so much. But I am getting better. I start doing a few 180's and a few days later, I wonder why nothing had changed. But than I stop and realize it has only been a few days. Since I am in the house everyday after work, I eat dinner with the family. If wife talks about anything, I listen and look at her. I don't bring up alot of conversations. But I walk around acting happy. I actually listen to music with my head phones at night and while I walk around the house getting ready for bed, I sing!!LOL! My kids laugh at me, but it helps me a bunch. And I don't look like I am sitting around depressed all the time. Oh and I exercise. And do Tai Chi!! Relaxes me.


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Joe46 #2544651 03/04/15 08:52 PM
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Joe, I love the idea of listening to music. Maybe I'll do that. I think that while I kept a PMA to my husband, when I heard that he was going to NY overnight with a person, I think I started believing that I had lost any chance of him staying and working it out. But then I remembered that back in October when he first told me that he was unhappy, "I" told him to take weekends for himself if that would work. Maybe he's testing to see if I really mean it. It doesn't mean that I've lost anything. I'm just showing that I will support him in rediscovering himself while I take care of myself.

Right?


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Elly4 #2544662 03/04/15 09:29 PM
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I am not experienced enough to advise you. Maybe one of the others can chime in.


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Joe46 #2544668 03/04/15 09:38 PM
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A lot of what you do is hinging on your H's actions first. What have you been doing for yourself? Put the emphasis on you.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2544696 03/04/15 10:22 PM
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Mr.Bond, I have started teaching dog agility one night a week, and then taking a class on Sundays for myself. I'm working out twice a week at the Y and making sure to meet at least once a week with friends. I'm also making sure that I'm reaching out at night with friends or on here if I'm feeling low. The biggest thing I've done for myself is to start counseling.

Is that what you mean?


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Elly4 #2544697 03/04/15 10:24 PM
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I get so much mixed advice from friends, which I know Michelle talks about. I just get confused sometimes. When I do, I go back to the book. I think I responded to his announcement well enough.


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Elly4 #2544756 03/05/15 01:32 AM
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"Is that what you mean?"

Perfect. So what kind of C have you been going to? What are some of your goals that will increase positive interactions with your H?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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