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Cadet's new welcome post is so much better now.

I was reading a thread about the stages of the stages of the LBS which of course fonts in anger. Post 2 by Lostforwords.

I don't know if that's where I am or if it's resentment a couple of stages later on, it's hard to tell. And of course it's not linear either, you can bob around on that Kübler-Ross grief curve looping back and forth.

I'll have a word with my IC. Incidentally I now have an appointment with an NHS provided IC just when I gave up on them and started paying for my own.

As I mentioned before, I've been reading Trains thread and Starsky's help on there with support from Wonka has been amazing. I don't get many vets passing through here but V I think I'm ready for some of it now.

I know I'm impatient to change but I also have great capacity to withstand pain. I learnt this being a passive aggressive, fearful of initiating ... well a whole bunch a things, and waiting for others to make decisions to which I had to react.

I still feel that fear but so want to do it anyway. One of the things I want to do is read my new "I hate you" list to WAW and damn the consequences. I'm not sure that's such a good idea though. It's more of a revenge, I want to hurt you now action.

Last edited by Old Dog; 03/01/15 06:56 AM.

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I agree on that some suggestions by Wonka too that have helped.

I thought Cadet was a mod, so that was a mistake on my part.

I really want to do that cool quote thing that every one else does and I have never mastered it. I hope vets will come to help, they always seem to find shift. My own sitch is more like a slow moving dustcart with very little change just a lot of garbage. In house S such as mine and yours are very hard on the spirit and there is a lot of pain to take.

Your language has changed too OD, and there are stronger words and less excuses.

It is lovely to see and hear.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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OD, I agree with Maybell on the benefits of both exercise and good music. Both have been good for me.



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V: to do the quote box hit "switch to full reply screen" and hit the quote button. A code with the word quote in brackets two times will come up (if I do it you won't be able to see it because it will make the box). Put the text you're quoting between the ][ and watch the magic happen.

I agree OD has grown a lot in the last few months. When he was first here we practically had to cattle prod him to do anything. Once he decided to move though, he started to really own it. And so much of what he's done has been really creative and brave. I for one am so proud of him.

Oh, wait, this is Not So Old Dog's thread. I'm proud of you NSOD!!!


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My words have got stronger but I still get lectured at when we have our 'talks'. I'm not very good at arguing or debating. I never went to uni, didn't do well at school because I hated it and refused, passive aggressively, to do any work and so never learnt to analyse stuff and present a cohesive argument.

And I'm still afraid of burning bridges of course.

V, this morning I booked in at the Ceroc weekender at Camber Sands.


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There's no point arguing with WAW. Put your energy elsewhere.


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Originally Posted By: Old Dog
My words have got stronger but I still get lectured at when we have our 'talks'. I'm not very good at arguing or debating. I never went to uni, didn't do well at school because I hated it and refused, passive aggressively, to do any work and so never learnt to analyse stuff and present a cohesive argument.


Old Dog- I agree there's not much use trying to be persuasive right now. However you are in control of being on the receiving end of lectures.

Early in my career I managed a call center. The employees weren't allowed to hang up on callers no matter how rude or abusive they got. So we trained them (in the very worst situations) to say "I'm going to have to put you on hold for a few moments until you can lower your voice and not use profanity when speaking to me".

The equivalent in the real world is just to say you aren't going to continue the conversation unless the other person can be respectful. In your case I think it would sound somthing like "W, I can see this is important and I would like to continue this conversation, but it feels like you are lecturing me and telling me what to do, so I won't be able to proceed until you are able to speak to me in a respectful tone". And then follow up and don't continue the conversation until she does that.

Of course - I am in the camp that you need to put some distance between you and her - she brings you so far down every time she's around. But I understand that isn't possible for the next month or so, until your son is recovered. So, I offer the above suggestion as a way to empower yourself :-).

Last edited by raliced; 03/01/15 02:55 PM.

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Good for you with the Ceroc weekend OD!


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Originally Posted By: Maybell
There's no point arguing with WAW. Put your energy elsewhere.


Duh! Oh yeah.


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I sent this email to WAW as she timed her return back home until after I had left to get the last bus. I got S15 to text me when she got back - half an hour later. I also said to him don't tell her as she'll think I'm checking up on her.

I would appreciate it if you are not going to get home until after I have left, that you let me know you are on track or have arrived so I know I don’t have to turn around and come back because something has happened.

And got a "yes, OK".


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
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Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
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