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Joined: Dec 2012
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Happy belated Birthday! Sounds like you had a great weekend.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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2BHappy Offline OP
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S14 is doing very well. Grades are up, I see him taking more responsibility for his school work.

I DB s14, I had to look deep at the way I was responding to him, the way I was approaching him and it was NOT working, so I took several steps back, explained to him my expectations, told him I'm doing the best I can and he can discuss whatever he wants to with me, just stay repectful. I'v given him more freedom and he has steped up and been responsible. But he is a teeanger in puberty so I know there will be ups and downs.

H did not once this weekend fuss or complain about s14, so even though he disagreed with what I told him, I saw him talk and interact much more gently with s14. And s14 and H was joking and working together on new furniture in s14 bedroom.

This weekend was GREAT over all , all the way around!

MY positive attitude is rubbing off on s14 and a teeny tiny bit on H. I work VERY hard on watching my words and my reactions, and trying to find the positive way to handle situations...it seems like my whole household is brighter:)


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 813
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Bright

THANKS for the bday wish. THANKFUL to be here, thankful for each and every day GOD blesses me.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 603
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Originally Posted By: 2BHappy
I DB s14, I had to look deep at the way I was responding to him, the way I was approaching him and it was NOT working, so I took several steps back, explained to him my expectations, told him I'm doing the best I can and he can discuss whatever he wants to with me, just stay repectful. I'v given him more freedom and he has steped up and been responsible. But he is a teeanger in puberty so I know there will be ups and downs.


Kind of funny, we come here for M issues, and the tools we learn here transcend to other aspects of our lives.

Personally, I found I became a much better communicator at work, and career wise I have had much more success then before BD.


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Yes I totally agree

I came here to save my M, my M still up in the air.

BUT I have saved myself!!!! I have improved ME (still in process), my communications with everyone are improving.

I'm happier than I have been in a long time, because here I look deep, with my pastoral counseling I dug dipper, I had to get back to loving ME.

The help and advice here,,,WOW pushed me along to where Iam now and I plan on keeping moving forward.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 813
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Planning a trip for next year for son 16th.
Son wants his dad to join us.
I told H in front of son of our plans, H said nothing.
The cruise will b next year, but I will make deposits in May.

Do I ask H if he wants to come or just let it go since he said nothing when asked the first time if he was interested?
And right now I'm not really interested in H going not with the way our M is at this time.

Do I ask H again? This is something son wants. But son is also ok if H does not go...I told him H does not really like cruising?


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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job Offline
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Happy,
I would ask him one more time...but I would do it when you are ready to put the deposit on the cruise. He will then need to make a decision because of the deposit.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Job
Yes ...now there is a 1/2 price deposit special so instead of May I will be making deposit next week.
H can always join in later based on room availability.
so I will tell him Im making deposit, and ttell him he is welcome to go and that he has time to decide to join us.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,447
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That's what I do with H. I make the plans, accepting H may or may not go. I then let him know about it and let him know he is welcome to join. For me, it's less of a rejection doing it this way instead of straight out asking and getting a no. IDK, emotionally it's easier for me

We love cruising! It was an annual thing up until last year. S has been to 6 countries at the age of 8! At he end of last year, S and I were talking about how much we missed going on a cruise and decided we should go this summer. Most likely it would just be me and him, but we have so much fun. Where are you going? Which cruise line do you like? I am a cruise junkie smile


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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2BHappy Offline OP
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I told him he actually said he would think about and let me know.
we go on Carnival best bang for the buck.
This will only be S14 2nd one but he LOVES it. This is my 6th or 7th I would go every year if I could afford it.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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