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Originally Posted By: Underdog
I don't see it as confusion either, Bug. I see it as manipulative and adolescent - like a high school guy who breaks up with his long term GF but wants to keep stringing her along in case he finds out down the road that she might come in handy. Not that he has devotion to her and finds that he can't imagine not being with her, but because he feels he needs a backup plan if everything blows up. He's grossly miscalculated on his part that she's going to be waiting for him and let him have that kind of power.

rpp, I *know* you don't want to be anyone's backup plan!?!?!


You trying to tell me something Bets? smile smile smile



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blush smile


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

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I'm glad today is over. I was looking forward to getting this iron infusion, I believe it will make a big difference in how I feel going forward (physically). Although it takes a couple of weeks to start feeling the effects apparently.

D12 had an early school dismissal today, and she had been invited to a friend's house, which worked well for me with the infusion. H was supposed to pick her up and take her to dinner, then bring her here. He picked her up, then was angry with her because she had eaten at the friend's. Instead of taking her to dinner anyway, and letting her have something small, he brought her home. Because he's the Food Police and has to control what everyone eats, he's always been like that. D12 was upset of course, and I encouraged her to tell him that she was disappointed that she didn't get to spend time with him (which is what she told me). I know it won't make any difference to him, but at least she will learn to say it. I wish my mom had encouraged me in that way.

And H is such a jerk sometimes.



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So.....Mr Food Police just texted me explaining how I should handle giving D12 a snack. Ummmmm.....what????? I don't need your assistance feeding my child, thanks. I'm pretty good at it. I have no intention of replying.



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So when Mr Perfect (Mr Wonderful's already taken) texts you these things, have you thought of replying? I'm thinking mostly abut his booty calls. He's crossing a boundary (I think, perhaps not).

Have you considered firmly shutting him down?

Because you are no mans back-up plan unless you want to be.

Hope the iron does its job!

Speaking of jobs-my niece is a CPA, worked for Deloitte for several years, now is a VP at one of the big banks. Hates it. Has 3 children under 5 and is single so she needs the income.
I like Betsey's story. Find your bliss, Woman! It's out there.

Last edited by labug; 02/27/15 02:56 PM.

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Note to rd, I was surprised that you had a very different view of rpp's H, your view could be very right. Mine tends to be a bit jaded at times.

Sometimes I need a reality check.


Me 57/H 58
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Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
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Originally Posted By: labug
So when Mr Perfect (Mr Wonderful's already taken) texts you these things, have you thought of replying? I'm thinking mostly abut his booty calls. He's crossing a boundary (I think, perhaps not).Have you considered firmly shutting him down?


I have considered asking him why he's issuing them. But mostly my mode has been ignore it. There's no action backing up his words, so I don't know that they are truly serious offers. I have considered calling his bluff to see what he would do. I have considered shutting them down cold, but the texts are suggestive, not explicit, and I don't think he's crossed a line that would require that sort of action. The main problem with ignoring is that it's my default.

I don't mind a bit of flirting as long as we both know it's flirting. I don't mind being friends as long as we both know it's just friends. That's where we are getting into grey territory. I feel like I can do these things without expectation, but I don't know that he realizes that. We still have a long way to go in figuring this out.

It would be disappointing to me if we never got back to friends, that's what we've been all these years, really. Friends, and partners in the business of raising a family.



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Hmmmmmmm

What's the first emotion you have when one of those texts pops up?

Your feelings are what matters, not what you think he does or doesn't mean by them.

Take care of rpp.

Last edited by labug; 02/27/15 03:18 PM.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
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Originally Posted By: labug
Hmmmmmmm

What's the first emotion you have when one of those texts pops up?

Your feelings are what matters, not what you think he does or doesn't mean by them.

Take care of rpp.


I'm flattered that he still thinks of me that way. I smile.

I don't have the urge to run jump him. LOL wink I'm looking for something better in that department. Something where texts are part of a bigger scenario, not the only means of seduction.



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OK.

I'm glad it's not you want to jump him. That wasn't even on my list of possibilities. eek

Last edited by labug; 02/27/15 03:31 PM.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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