Starsky - just wanted to say I did NOT tell H I was bothered last time about the no kissing! The only thing I told him after last time was "I had fun" (when he asked if we should talk about it) - and then changed the subject.
I just thought of something else that my IC mentioned to me this week, as we spoke about sex. He put sex at the end of a spectrum of carnal pleasures and specifically mentioned food as another such pleasure. I notice that susana4's thread is a lot about food and sex lately and I would dare suggest that the two are connected. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it's not surprising that you're both such an outstanding cook and very sensual.
Susana4, your cooking sounds de-li-ci-ous and your H acknowledges all the pleasure he gets from it. It doesn't seem a stretch to me to say that those fine meals are as much an invitation to jump in bed with you as the sexy jeans.
Mozza, this made me giggle! Thank you for the compliment on my cooking btw!
I actually clocked earlier this morning that both times H and I ML recently was the night I'd cooked him a really nice meal (one which resulted in him oohing and aahing repeatedly over my "amazing cooking skills" (his words)). And coincidentally, cookies. Maybe cookies lead to sex? (Man, wish I'd discovered that a long time ago!)
One of my favourite sitches, one that I really connect with on a gut level in spite of some differences, is Dia's: Dia's thread (Btw - don't think she's in your success stories, so here's one for that!)
She talks a lot about being sensual and cooking and created some amazing-sounding meals (all her posts made me drool!)
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
I feel like I'm in *such* a better place this time than I was last time we ML. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this board for helping me forward on my journey so far.
I am not second guessing or panicking or worrying, I just feel really content and happy today.
I went to visit my friend (who'd been having suicidal thoughts earlier this week). He seems in a much better place, that was the only day he had them and he hasn't since. I was a little worried he said I was the only person he told, and he doesn't want to speak to his doctor or anyone else. But, he seemed to be doing well today, and we had a great afternoon. Went for a walk through the countryside, toured a 16th century timber framed house (so cool, and it was free!), and got to play with his 17 month old nephew. The sun was out and flowers in bloom (even saw a few daffodils!), so it really felt like spring is nearly here.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Felt a little bit down this morning - seems like lately my good days are followed almost immediately by a day where I feel down. Nothing too bad, just accidentally stumbled across a photo H took of me in happier times from a picnic we had in the park, and then I got a little bit down. It's good to be aware of this, I think in the future I should plan an activity for the morning when I think I'm going to be having a 'down' day.
Spent most of the afternoon shopping. Accidentally spent way too much. Didn't blow the budget luckily, but I'd planned to buy a few new outfits this month and now it looks like I won't.
Got some sexy new knickers, and ended up picking up some jewellery - hadn't planned that but I found some really pretty earrings and a necklace I couldn't resist. And I got a sheer top that will go well with new jeans I got last week. All were on sale so I was feeling pretty good.
And then I found *the dress*. It was way more than I intended to spend in total on everything, but it was beautiful. It's a black dress with lace paneling and I think it might be the sexiest dress I've ever owned. Now I just need to work out where to wear it!
I had the uttapam for breakfast (couldn't help humming H's uttapam song), and for dinner I made a killer meal. It was a buffalo burger with homemade ranch mayo, red onion and tomato, with a side of sweet potato fries.
As gogofo predicted, H seems to have pulled back/gone into his cave. He's with his college buddies all weekend, hasn't texted at all. Will see what he's like when he gets back tomorrow.
Going round a friend's for brunch tomorrow, but I expect it will turn into a loooong brunch, they always do. Hope everyone's having a good weekend so far!
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Crazy random idea for you - change of scenery for you both - perhaps a weekend away invite? Things have been flirty and friendly enough with you guys. Especially after the separate space you're enjoying, I wonder if getting out of the house (old environment, old struggles, old dynamics and feelings) might do you both good if you think it wouldn't scare anybody to commit to a long date like that? I wonder if you kept the invite light and just let him know you'd enjoy his company.
What do you think?
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
Hi Z! Hope you're having a nice weekend Yes, definitely a dress for cocktails & a nice meal. Hopefully I'll find a nice opportunity to wear it soon.
Hmm...I'm a little worried it will scare him off at this point! I have a call with my DB coach Monday so I'll discuss with her what she suggests. It would be really nice to do at some point. You have given me a good idea though - just thinking about it now, my friend has a place on the coast and I think it would be perfect for if/when it's a good time to suggest a weekend away. It's only about an hour away so wouldn't take too long or cost too much to get there but it would be nice and relaxing. Getting away and going on adventures has always been really important to us.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
You may well want to wear it whan you are going out without him - looking lovely - out with your GFs for a drink.....he may well wonder a little about that one....
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I've only read up on this thread but it sounds like your doing an amazing job with everything. Keep up the great work. Also, love the geocaching! I discovered it about a year ago and rarely hear anyone talk about it, so it's always a nice surprise when I see someone mention it.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
You may well want to wear it whan you are going out without him - looking lovely - out with your GFs for a drink.....he may well wonder a little about that one....
Thanks Toots! Yeah, that's what I was thinking, I don't have any upcoming drinks plans but I might just have to speak to my GFs later about planning something soon. It seems a bit crazy to plan drinks around a dress but I want an excuse to wear it! Lol.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
