Wonka has wisely advised me to get an LGBT attorney which I have done, and remove mediation from the table. I can stall this ou to 2016 easy.
My mission is to not talk to my WAW or send any emails Remove mediation from the table, stop negotiating, Fire old lawyer and get retainer back if possible.
Fingers crossed this works guys.
The goal is to stretch this out, make good legal decisions regarding my children and finances. And of course, maybe my wife will wake up by then. I am hopeful on that issue but at least I will not be rushed into making any legal mistakes that will haunt me for the nex 20 years or so.
I have too much at stake to DIY. My children are more important than anything - I need an attorney who gets same sex marriage and the issues associated with it.
I have too much at stake to DIY. My children are more important than anything - I need an attorney who gets same sex marriage and the issues associated with it.
Fingers crossed.
Glad you do now see this and the importance of having a professional by your side....I pray for you and your family.
NAJ1964 - What a difficult period. As usual, you surprise with your capacity to adapt and execute. Bravo.
We all have our DB weaknesses. Mine is to be a wet noodle around my W: I can't detach and it clouds my judgement and PMA. People on these boards are constantly straightening me. Maybell thinks she can do it all alone. Jim0987 is overly self-critical. Susana4 is smothering. TenBook/Vasapro can't enforce his boundaries. Etc etc.
You know what's yours? Pessimism.
You jump to conclusions, believing that it's now over because your W told you it will never change. What you have to learn is to ignore these red herrings. Everybody who reconciled after an A has heard them. She also promised you her undying love until death do you apart, right? Yet, it changed. The point is that some WAW change their minds and it's impossible to know who will. So the DB thing to do is to proceed and keep the door open. There's no need to say it will never work. In any case, DB is not about sabotaging you in the name of some false hopes; it's about tacking back control over your life in a way that makes R possible.
We also have strengths. Maybell can handle situations that would overwhelm most. Vanilla can keep cool in the middle of a sh!t storm. Susana4 can flirt with her husband like she's Angelina Jolie.
You know what's yours? Execution.
When you shift gears and get with the program, you deliver. Don't let your mind get in the way: focus on execution and let time do its thing. Think of the Stockdale Paradox and plow through. Remember that the best way to lose is to give up.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Yes, I am pessimistic but I am a bulldog who does not give up. I have never never never given up. I am great at execution once I get my mind clear and my orders.
How long does one expect this situation to turn around? Wayword spouse has been in affair for 5 months now. I think I remember Wonka saying that 8 months is average for what she has seen?
Not saying that once she is out of affair, that she will want to return to the family fold, but at least with the AP out of the picture we can talk. As long as the AP is in the picture, I can't even talk to her. She remains the alien from another planet.
I know I have heard many times, this is a marathon, not a spring but any suggestions on how long this will continue? I have mentioned that they talk only once per day which is curious. Does that mean the A is winding down or is my WAW just BS'ing me. Hard to tell.
That is the $64,000 question, and nobody anywhere can answer that. What I do know is that there is no hope if we do not choose to adapt and change and grow.
Mozza wrote some very powerful words. Try to avoid the temptation of looking at her car wreck. You've got your own to manage. That's enough for anyone on one given day, especially since you have the kids.
Leave her be, avoid temptation to navel gaze and focus on what you actually *can* control. Got it?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
