Day Two

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks AJM and job,

Thats the way I was leaning, but like most I second guess myself and need to throw things out for comment. Its tough reading things at times. I wish there were assembly instructions included.

I agree that she needs to be stronger about making decisions on her own. I have felt for a long time during this whole thing that at times her decisions were really others decisions and suggestions on who she should be. I hope that she is recognizing this and beginning to want more than that for herself. If I start to do that for her now I will be as bad as the others who have been doing this.

[Lifes Twists]

Small update:

Yesterday I saw another small positive step on her part. the new norm right now has been when she contacts me its about the kids or possibly to talk about her. yesterday she initiated a text where she started off asking how my new job was going. When I saw the text a couple hours later I responded and she responded back right away and we had a nice little text discussion.

I feel things are finally starting to go well. I keep myself in check and not push like I would want to.

[Georgiabelle]

I'm happy for you, LT. Stay the course and hope the summer is going well.

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks GB

My counselor sent me this article that I think should be shared here. It was in the new york times recently.

here is the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/style/crawling-back-from-the-ledge.html?emc=eta1&_r=0

[Lifes Twists]

Hi everyone, a bit of an update.

Things are going along in an ebb and flow as I suspect they will. We have met up for a couple walks to talk about things. I also was at her apartment for dinner and to work on daughters college stuff earlier this week. I have noticed now that she has a big smile when she first sees me now. That was not the case for a long time.

I believe that she is now reaching out to me for her emotional support. yesterday was a prime example of this. She sent me a text shortly after I arrived at work. She was getting all worked up over the cost of the girls college expenses. She texted that it was making her sick. I told her that she should not make her self sick over it. That if we talk it through and work together that things will work out.Then she texted about stress from worrying that the girls will make it through school. I told her this was normal. That the girls may hit some bumps along the way which is part of life and growing up. That we should not try and shield them from it.

Is it unusual for them to return for emotional support so quickly after the divorce is finalized? Should I be concerned?

[AJM]

Interesting article on depression, LT. What did you take from it?


AJ

[Sotto]

"..as he stood in the hallway watching me in the midst of a mental breakdown, I saw what he’d been trying to tell me all along.

I love you.

I’m worried about you.

I want you to be happy.

I’m still here.

It was what I needed more than anything but never thought I could get."

Thanks for posting the article. I thought this part above was lovely. In many ways it is how I feel about my H just now..

Have a good day, T xx

[Lifes Twists]

Hi Aj,

Two things really hit me. The first was were she did not him to judge her. I have had the same response from my ex. I had wondered if this is a common feeling amongst the depressed that they are being judged by others.

The second was how she realized he did love her. Again, I wondered is this the same for most if the finally awaken from their own fog.

Hi Toots,

I like that part as well. I wonder if this is what happens to most MLCers who finally wake up. This article resonated with me because it is from the mind of one who is dealing with sever depression. Lets us in a little bit on where their head is at.

[tadpole1025]

Hmmm....

I'm no expert, but my XW ALWAYS thought I was judging her about something. It was like a fear of hers. She ALWAYS thought she was being judged by me, my family or coworkers.

She never thought she was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough....sad really.

Tad

[Lifes Twists]

So, I received a pleasant surprise this morning. She sent me a happy fathers day text. First time she has acknowledged anything in the last couple years. Little steps like this will add up, they just take time.