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Originally Posted By: Wonka
Starsky,

Either reasons does not negate Kieran's need to regain his center. I do think an extra day will do his PMA a world of good. Does it matter?



I think it's important that his WIFE knows he's not cowering, yes. But the greater good is him building up his mojo and practicing his lines in his head, I agree.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Almost done DB, which arrived yesterday. Camping great so far. Friend of a friend totally invited me to share her tent last night, which was a great confidence boost. Declined, of course, but it's nice to know I've still got it.

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Kieran,

I just wanted to chime in with my fellow DBers and let you know how much I learned from your thread already. It just flows.

You rock!

RAI


Me 48 XW 45
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I'm on my way back home, having read DB and taken some time to recover my equanimity. I feel surprisingly good. The detachment is starting to come. We'll see how things go once I talk with W.

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Stay cool. Let her worry about what you are thinking, what you may do, how you feel, etc.

Do NOT start assuring her how much you love her, or even how much you want to stay M to her.

Let her stew and run her tongue........or be a deep freeze, b/c you don't really care. You aren't in the mood.

Don't show ANY fear.

Leave her wondering!

And be sure to hide your DB book.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Breathe.

Keep calm and firm

Follow the guidance

Vanilla


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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There are a lot of people on this board who obviously care about you and your sitch. We are all behind you.

RAI


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Well, W is too clever by half. I forgot to delete search history on one computer, so she found this thread and read it all while I was away. We had a good talk and examined some of the bad dynamics in our relationship from both sides. We're a work in progress, and DB will be playing a role, but it will have to be an explicit one practiced by both of us while we're working together on the M. Thank you all for your advice and encouragement.

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And this is why we need to be able to PM each other. Now this man has lost a valuable resource at a critical point in his marriage.

If that's what happened here.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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@Starsky309: yes, this is precisely what happened. Thanks again for your encouragement. It got me through a couple of very hard days. There are more to come, but I have had a critical chance to get my head straight before facing them.

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