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Mac00 #2539042 02/16/15 09:38 PM
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Originally Posted By: Mac00
I was wrong. And, surprised. About 5 mins after I posted she was heading out with the kids, she came downstairs and said "you know you can come if you want". So I agreed, she asked how long it would take till I'm ready "5 mins" was the answer. I mentioned 'revamping' the basement, she didn't know what I meant.
I have alot of boxes with military gear, junk, ect in them in the basement (its not exactly 'nice' looking). Told her I was planning on making it nice, cleaning it up. I know she doesn't believe me, I've been saying it for at least 6 months. I'm going to do it (she'll be surprised..one of her complaints was that I say something, but don't follow through, this time, I will. All and all the outing was short, only and hour. She talked (maybe to herself?) ..can't find parking here, car isn't heating up fast enough..ect. ect. I said nothing. I was the best with the kids though, cotton candy, ect...it was nice. Hardest part was being out with her, when she wasn't looking, I couldn't help but to think of how lucky I am/was. She's gorgeoius. She mentioned that next year, its a festival 'we' should avoid. Of course, 'we' can be her and the kids. Called around, there are a few bars open tonight. Though she hated my driking, i'm going to go out...even for a few hours. For me. Well, honestly two fold...I want to see if there will be a reaction again. Shower, cologne, and out the door. Play some pool I suppose. It was wierd...though were out as a 'family' it felt 'normal'. sorta.


It be best if you stopped looking for "reactions". That's the danger of posting and keeping up with the sitches on these boards. I'd wait several weeks for positive change of any kind and a true A to recovery might be over several years of time.

Go out, drink, do what you want because it feels good for you.

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Yes sir...I hate leaving the kids. First and foremost, an admission. I've spent my time away from them. Same house, but in the basement. I've been wanting to join a police department for so long, that I've spent every waking hour I can practicing the exams, reading, finishing highschool, getting my drivers license...I honestly haven't been that great of a father.
Sure, when we were all together, it was nothing, I loved it...but at home, I was always in front of this bloody computer, foresaking her, and the kids. I get troubled, for GAL involves me not being here still...meaning, perhaps in her mind, I'm doing the same, and it [censored]. Today when we were out, I was attentive, especially to my little 3yr old..not because I 'had' to, to show her what I can be like, but because I wanted to. Love em' to pieces. A great father is an attractive thing, they say...well, a great father I want to be. Not for 'her'..but for me. No matter what happens, I'll surpass the father I had as a kid, and will be missed if/when I'm out of the picture. Hoping it doesn't get there, but thats not for me to decide.
I'll be putting them to bed, grabbing a shower right afterwards, and getting out of this house. I need it.
Sitting in the house is mind-numbing. I can sit here and 'think' about the phone ringing for her, or her texts, or I can not be here and perhaps actually have a good time. I chose the latter. Time for the big boy pants


"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
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Oh, and yes, though drinking was brought up, and has been an issue for her, I'm going to head there anyway. I have no intention of getting trashed, or even 'feeling good'. I'm going to have a beer, maybe two, and play pool. There's not much else I can do to get out and GAL in this fridgid cold. But its better not to be here as much as I am. I understand that I could invite stupidity by going overboard...or by inviting 'relations' with someone else from the bar. I'm not interested. Just want to go, have a beer, maybe two, watch some TV (I dont do that anymore) and play some pool/snooker. I plan on returning around 1130pm. She heads off to bed then, and I have work in the a.m.


"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Mac00 #2539091 02/16/15 11:13 PM
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Gotta ask again: did you read DB or DR yet?
It's important!
Hang in there. Focus on YOURSELF. Not on W. I know it's hard. You have to go through the jungle of emotions but self reflect a lot too. It's all about you now.


Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15


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The books aren't here yet.


"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Mac00 #2539110 02/17/15 12:21 AM
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GAL is more than just going out. There are so many other things you can do. Take up a new hobby, read a good book, etc. That will make you a much stronger person inside and out.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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New hobby starts Thursday, Dancing. (YAY) Always wanted to learn how to Tango!


"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Mac00 #2539159 02/17/15 03:58 AM
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Originally Posted By: Mac00
New hobby starts Thursday, Dancing. (YAY) Always wanted to learn how to Tango!


Your going to have a blast. And if you are in a WAW situation, you are going to feel a whole lot better having that body contact from a responsive and conducive female.

Mac00 #2539263 02/17/15 02:48 PM
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I've been reading a lot on here for 6 months. From what I have gathered is you need to get back in YOUR bed. Get out of the basement. It is she who should be leaving the bed to conduct her A. She should be the one hiding in the basement with her A.

Also, do you pay for her phone? If you do I would consider ending that. You should not facilitate the affair by paying for it to continue. I don't mean to grab the phone and smash it (I did that, oops), just if she wants to continue that activity she has to pay for it herself and not with money you earn for the family. I would think it completely appropriate to stop paying for things with family money that is bad for the family.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
Mac00 #2539364 02/17/15 08:23 PM
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Thoughts? When I exposed her EA to everyone I could, one of the recipients was my mother in law. I sent out the private emails on Feb. 7th. Apparently, it was read on the 10th by her mom. Her mom, I can now confirm, called my mom most likely to talk about what's going on. My mom never returned the call, as she couldn't confirm the number. Its my impression, that Tabby (because I know for fact she lies to my face) most likely isn't confiding the truth to her mom when they talk and text. And I'm guessing its almost daily.
I noticed in a text, her mom is taking interest in how things at the house are going. I made a nice dinner on the 15th. Happened to wear some new clothes, and admittedly, looked pretty good. It was passed on to her mother, as, last night, she asked Tabby via text "how was last night?". Tabby replied " what was last night?", her mother replied "Aaron made dinner..." No further response was made. Here's my question. Now that I know it WAS her mom that called mine (probably to verify my account off what was happening in our marriage was real), should I have my mom return the call? My mom was a shrink for many years until she retired, and honestly, is pretty good with figuring out others and their motives. She's a straight shooter, pull no punches person. I don't want Tabby's family offering one-sided support if they are unaware of what went on in the house..and I really don't want it to appear that my mother couldn't care enough to return a call.
Two days until dance class...SWEET!


"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
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