It's still relatively early days in your sitch, and limbo is not necesarilly a bad thing right now. It does give some time for things to unfold and become clearer - and can be helpful if there's an OP involved too. Gives a little time for the gloss to wear off for them...
For me, I had an initial plan (stay with parents - 5 months) and then a new 6 month plan (rent a flat) but I do now need to look at longer term finances to stabilise my position. Because I recognise I'm here for the duration now, and I don't want to worry about money.
Without looking back, have you seen a L? That may be a good starting point, just to understand the options. Also, if you do take steps, you needn't feel 'that would be it' - you would just have separated your finances, nothing else...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
If you haven't seen a L see one. It's awful and feels like another nail in the coffin but you need to think about you and your position. It's better to be informed now rather than getting a bolt out of the blue six months down the line. As far as separate accounts etc I don't see anything wrong with that as long as your happy. Don't do it in expectation that she'll suddenly want you back. I need to move some direct debits to wife and sort our joint accounts before I leave. Not to shock her but because we seperating hence separate accounts and not paying for stuff I don't use anymore. I would say don't do anything in haste just to try and shock your wife. I see many people on here and other sites slapping D in straight away. I don't see what the rush is. Step back. Breathe let the dust settle. Don't let your emotions make decisions for you.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Thanks for all input everyone. I hAve been thinking about this and will continue to give it thought. But I am not in a big hurry right now. Thanks again all.
So to update everyone, things are going ok. I have managed to find some buddies that come around almost daily. Seems to be helping especially with the detachment process. It's nice to have company Inc those moments when you start to feel weak. I have begun to journal as well in hopes to keep things off my mind as much as possible. Was having a bad go oF it when trying to sleep. But it seems journaling right before bed seems to really help. Again thank you all for the support. Going on 5 days of 0 contact with W. Going to do my best to not have any contact with her.
Sounds like you're doing well Rysing. I also found journalling helpful in the early stages. Many times I sat in bed feverishly writing, and it does help to get it out onto paper. I don't do it so much now, but it's always there to go back to.
Nice that you're spending time with friends, and good luck with the NC! :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Good morning- Today has not started out so well, work is dragging by and all I can do is think about W and OM. It's really tough sometimes to be able to pull yourself out of that funk you know you’re either headed to or already in. I found myself worrying about the future and saddened that I might be alone for a long time. But then again I guess there is no better time to find myself than when I am forced to be alone. I have gotten out almost daily this past week and at those times it did feel ok. I still thought about W but not as much as times like this. I thought that journaling right before bed would help but I am not seeing the results that I was hoping for. I still dreamt of her and woke up feeling angry and resentful; this is an almost daily cycle. I wish there was a time table when things would start to get better we have been apart a month and I don’t see any signs of a reconciliation any time soon. She really seems to be enjoying herself without me. That is actually a very harsh reality to accept. But I will keep breathing until one day the pain lessens and I can look forward to a brighter day. I need to stay strong and resist my urge to talk to her.
She comes by some days but I'm never home. Since our separation only talked twice in person and a handful by text and email combined. So really no interactions. I do not follow her social media life either. Is this a good or bad thing.
