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It's a pleasure to help. smile


M: 40 H: 44
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RysinMn Offline OP
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Ok folks I have a little bit of a pickle I need advice with. W and I have a mutal friend, her friend first and she is closer to him as well. He has been having a rough go at things back home. And we have offered for him to come chill with us multiple times. He asked me since I live in home now if offer was still open I said yes. Would be nice to have company. So he bought a ticket for next week and will be here a month.

I know I should at least inform W of him coming right? I don't want her to happen upon him Here And be angry. He wants to suprise her. What do you think?


RysingMan

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Why tell her? I don't see any reason to


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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RysinMn Offline OP
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Well she comes to the house daily. And she is gonna find out one of her best friends is in town and staying with me. You don't think she will get pissed? I wanna be mysterious but not cause more drama ya know.


RysingMan

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Does he know what's going on between you and W right now? Does he understand she isn't staying at home?


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
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I agree with twin. I see absolutely no reason to inform W. She is the one who left you. She has no say in what you do right now. And she doesn't need to be notified. Your W has fired you as her H. If a boss fired you from your job, would you feel you needed to keep him updated on what you're doing at your NEW job? I mean, would you CARE if your new actions at your new job pissed your old boss off?

See what I mean?

She's calling the shots for HER life. You're calling the shots for YOURS.

Simple as that.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 290
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RysinMn Offline OP
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Yes he knows from both sides. Well he told her anyhow so I guess that is that. She is not happy. I guess she asked him who's friend he is lol. I will without a doubt not let her into our business at least. She can wonder all she wants. You are right I am my own boss.


RysingMan

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Awwwww poor wittle baby. Starting to feel a wittle consequence for her p!ss-poor actions. Welcome to the dark side, Sweetheart.

mad

You're your own boss. Exactly. Keep your chin up.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
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Originally Posted By: Train
Awwwww poor wittle baby. Starting to feel a wittle consequence for her p!ss-poor actions. Welcome to the dark side, Sweetheart.

mad

You're your own boss. Exactly. Keep your chin up.











YEP!!!!


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 290
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RysinMn Offline OP
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Update- so my counselor suggested to think about cutting all ties with W I mean splitting accounts everything. Because she feels I am still sitting in limbo. I feel I am doing pretty good dealing but maybe it is a good Idea. What do you guys think? If this is my course would definitely have to hammer out the details and then that would be it. Thanks gals/guys.


RysingMan

Me:31 W:29
T:8 M:4
D bomb: 10/2014
S 1/2015
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