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Joined: Feb 2015
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0Seth Offline OP
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Joined: Feb 2015
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So quickly. me male 27 W 26 married 5 years together 11 no kids but I have our great puppy. Was happily married never fought, never argued, same laid back personalities. She works alot, this guy starts hanging out at her work for hours daily I can't compete. I catch this emotional affair early cried, begged, but confronted and accepted all my problems and solving them daily. She got her own apartment 2 weeks after she told me she was unhappy, loved me but wasn't in love with me. The entire time I kept my cool told her I wanted our marriage to work, said it was good that she got her own apartment becuase of the time she could have to herself. I think this is a grass is greener situation but I now know to give her all the space she wants since she feels smothered. She has been on her own for 6 days "still early" I know but she left everyone for this decision. All of her emotions are shut off to justify that this is what will make her happy. The only people she has to truly talk to are these 20 year old kids at work, this guy, and her mom. She has never been in a bad relationship, mistreated,trust issues, been abused, hurt because we were together so young.
Now to my questions.
She text me how are you doing?
No talking for 3 days and I get this. So my response was my new job was going good I had a good day at work and enjoy it there alot.
I ask her how her work is going she says fine.
I don't know if she is asking me to see if I am going to be ok on my own to make herself feel better or if she actually cares. Also we have a dog she loved more than anything that she walked away from and she asked me to send a picture and says she misses him. That being said this is the first time she has mentioned any emotions in 3 weeks. I sent her a picture and she said Thank you!! I said your welcome.
Do i bring up financial stuff, Ask if she is happy?
She works all the time and I don't cant to ask about what she is doing because I am letting her try this separated life she thinks will bring her happiness but what do we talk about?
When is it time to answer, I'm not doing good, I think about you all the time and when I am working I sometimes get a break from the pain when my mind is too busy. I feel like my best friend died, but worse because of the decisions you have made. I go to the gym everyday and run 2 miles so I have 10 minutes of slight relief from the heartbreak you caused. That is what I want to say but just keep staying strong?
Act like everything is ok if she only wants to make small talk?
I hate that she has turned off her emotions and doesnt have to think about my me, my sisters and mom balling her eyes out because she feels like she is losing a daughter. All because this guy she enjoys talking to that she met 2 months ago. I am angry sad upset jealous hurt confused but finding out so much about myself. Taking these giant steps for me and that I feel great about. I can honestly say I know myself now more than ever and I love the new me.
So what now? Keep not texting or calling?
When we do talk act like everything is fine Im doing good?
I dont want her to feel like she cant contact me because I dont text her or that I am mad or something?
ugh I dont know I need help.

Joined: Nov 2009
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Last edited by Cadet; 02/16/15 06:21 PM.

Me-70, D37,S36

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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