I am curious what you are looking for in regards to tips. It seems to me that you are hoping that someone gives you a specific piece of advice that you agree with. I am curious what is you want us to say:
"Leave her alone."?
Meanwhile, everyone here, based upon what you tell us, is seeing the same thing. A person who is interested in you.
Life is short Tad. You have a great example of this crappy fact in your little ratties.
What I wish for you, is to be fearless. To seize life and see how f-ing amazing it can be even if it is scary...especially when it is scary.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 02/13/1511:20 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Well ladies and gents, I've been talking to my friend again. We got to talking a bit and dating her is a no go. I asked her to lunch again and got denied. I won't ask again. I just don't get it. I've never had a woman act the way she does towards me. She pretty much told me something like:
I see you as a friend, and respect you, it's only fair that I make it clear that I don't want you to hold out hopes for anything beyond friendship.
I told her no worries and that I'd still like to be her friend. The one girl that I could actually see myself with and was starting to have feelings for but....
I just don't understand....
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Good for you for trying again. Listen, rejection is never pleasant. However, I am impressed that you asked again and you certainly can develop a friendship.
I can't speak for anyone but myself at this juncture. I know I am terribly confusing right now to males not firmly in the friend zone. I've been told and as much as I don't want to admit it, it's true. Women confuse men and men confuse women. It's been going on for centuries.
What to do? Be proud of yourself for taking the risk and keep on keeping on. Let the friendship evolve. Keep your eyes open. Keep focusing on living the best life. I think Job is correct when she says things occur when we least expect them (I hope it was okay for me to mention you Job because I honestly think that is such sage advice:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Glad you asked again and know the answer. She looks like a really good platonic friend to keep.
As you well know, we do not always like certain people as romantic prospects. It could be that this lady isn't interested in a romantic relationship with you at all. To me, I am glad that she was honest and upfront with you without leading you on.
I am sure you have had experiences when women expressed an interest in you and you just didn't feel the same way as they did. That is the way it is sometimes although putting yourself out there and getting turned down a a tough pill to swallow. Hey, we all have been there one way or another.
It is important that you do not give up and withdraw. There will be other opportunities down the road with other women who will reciprocate your overtures.
Patience, my dear Tad.
Have you ever thought about joining groups or engage in activities? Expand your social circle a bit more. I think you're ready for this. Make the leap!
Wonka, I have joined meetup groups but haven't gone to anything yet. I just can't make myself go....
Just journaling/venting/pouring out feelings/babbling incoherently:
Sorry for the length of this post. Just typing as things come to me:
S28 recently had a birthday and became S29. XW invited him, his GF and our other three sons. S29 and his GF are the only ones that went. I had a good chance to talk to him the other day. He says he is getting pretty tired of the way XW acts around certain people. This doesn't surprise me because she has always been a little pretentious. The thing that really shocked me though: he said XW REFUSED to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. WTF? Seriously, WTF?
He also told me that OM was in the hospital a few days earlier this month. Apparently he passed out and got blood and poop all over the bathroom. I guess he had a bleeding ulcer and was trying to hide it from XW. I don't feel good about it, but it brought me a little joy. I know....it shouldn't have. There isn't a mean bone in my body but....this brought me joy.
I've been in a different place "mentally" lately and not sure if I can explain it. I've sort of been seeing me and my life from the outside looking in. It's almost as if I've been watching a really bad movie for the last few years. I keep asking myself "How did I get here?" "What did I do?" "Where will I end up?"
I'm bummed that my friend at work only wants to be friends at the moment, but I'm glad to have her as a friend. She really is the only one I've got at the moment.
I was doing really well with forcing myself to go out until about December. Since then, I've kind of withdrawn a bit. That is when my rattie died. (My other rat is doing better.) I never thought that it would become so difficult to just leave the house. My sons forced me to have margaritas with them at a local restaurant the other night. Yes it was fun, but I wouldn't have left the house if they hadn't forced me to.
Before MLC, I was well-liked, life of the party, recognizable whenever I went out....a guy everyone wanted to be around. Now, I'm content staying in. I have no desire to leave the house. I've put off getting a haircut for two weeks now. I just have no desire to go anywhere. I've been wanting to join a gym and sign up online, but I'm afraid that it will just be a waste of money because I probably wouldn't go. I just can't seem to get over the hump...
I don't even think there are any women interested in me. Can't say that I blame them, but it would be nice.
This will sound very weird, but it is true: When I was growing up, I always kind of knew two things:
1) I always kind of knew that my life would change when I was 33 years old. It did, I was 33 years old when my grandmother died. That is when I gained a really close relationship with God.
2) I always kind of knew that I would be alone later in life. Here I am.
Sometimes, I say to myself: "What's the point?" I just can't see myself going anywhere in life. Do I want to? Sure. Do I have the energy or willpower? I don't think so. I'm just so tired. I really need to just get away. Or go away and stay away.
Honestly, and I've thought about this a lot, I would be perfectly content giving up any worldly possessions I have left including car, computer, cell phone....even the roof over my head. Just give everything up and just walk....walk until I found a cave that I could crawl into. I know how to garden so I could grow my own food.
I'm just so sick and tired of the way things have "turned out." I don't know.....sometimes I think that I am on the verge of going through "something" myself.
Sorry for the ramble.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
You sound like you are dealing with the mid winter blahs. I think a lot of us are right now. I hope you have an IC and can explore this with them. My concern is you are at a point with everything that adding the blahs into it is pushing you into full blow depression. You have come through a lot these past few years. You need some support to see that you are coming to a better place and not sinking into a hole. I know it tough, believe me. I don't even know if I want to accept a job offer I am expecting this coming week. I sometimes feel I would rather throw it all away and start over myself. I know that i should accept it and move forward in my life as well. So, get someone to talk to a work through this to your better place.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
What I am hearing are just excuses...more excuses for why you just "can't" go out. No one is stopping you but YOURSELF.
You are being gripped by a serious case of interia.
Then the more you stay stuck on the inertia square, the more you'll become one of those people from the Hoarders show.
Yeah, there are times when I just don't feel like going out. But I do FORCE myself out and find myself having fun. I am involved in two organizations as Board members to keep myself engaged and active.
You cannot afford to be afraid of life. What a waste.
Before MLC, I was well-liked, life of the party, recognizable whenever I went out....a guy everyone wanted to be around. Now, I'm content staying in. I have no desire to leave the house. I've put off getting a haircut for two weeks now. I just have no desire to go anywhere. I've been wanting to join a gym and sign up online, but I'm afraid that it will just be a waste of money because I probably wouldn't go. I just can't seem to get over the hump...
Before MLC....????
MLC didn't cause any of this Tad, you chose it..
Originally Posted By: Tad
I don't even think there are any women interested in me. Can't say that I blame them, but it would be nice.
This will sound very weird, but it is true: When I was growing up, I always kind of knew two things:
1) I always kind of knew that my life would change when I was 33 years old. It did, I was 33 years old when my grandmother died. That is when I gained a really close relationship with God.
2) I always kind of knew that I would be alone later in life. Here I am.
You don't know any of that to be true, only what you expected, and worked towards. (yes, you work very hard at achieving those goals)..
All of that changes with a single choice. A choice to do something out of your comfort zone.
And with that single choice, it can and will snowball if YOU allow it to...
