There isn't much going on with me these days, but here is the latest:
My rattie seems to be getting a little better. I've been babying her a lot and giving her a lot of attention. Well, she already got a lot, but I've been giving her more. She isn't as clumsy as she was and seems to have a little more energy. She does sleep a lot more though. To be honest, I thought she was in the process of passing over a week ago.
XW has invited all of our sons over for a barbecue this Sunday for S28's birthday. S28 is the only one going. Sad, but this is her doing.
My "friend" at work continues to drive me nuts. She just returned from 4 days in Tucson. She goes down there every year for the Gem and Mineral Show. She is a rock nerd. Well, when I got to work tonight, she came right up to me and gave a present to me. It was a little Penguin (I love Penguins) figurine carved out of Soapstone. So, she was obviously thinking about me while she was down there. Anyways, see why I'm confused?
I thought about getting something for my "friend" for Valentine's Day but have decided against it. I wasn't going to get anything like the typical flowers or chocolates, but just something to "thank" her for being my friend. I may wait though. I don't want to scare her off.
She told me the other day that her X BF was much older than her. I guess that could end up being good news for me. She is 35. I am 47. So....I know she isn't afraid to "date" older guys. I'm going to continue to lay low for now though.
It's been rough, but I am still not smoking. It has now been 41 days without a single slip. I'm hopeful that my quit will actually stick this time.
I've been wanting to join the gym, but have put it off for now because of my little rattie. I'm the type of person that would feel very guilty if something happened to her and I wasn't there. I think if I was honest with myself, that is probably the reason I don't get out and do things as much as I should.
Anyways, that is all for now. Any tips on how I should handle my friend? I'm pretty confused about the whole thing....
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Well, when I got to work tonight, she came right up to me and gave a present to me. It was a little Penguin (I love Penguins) figurine carved out of Soapstone. So, she was obviously thinking about me while she was down there. Anyways, see why I'm confused?
No, I really don't. She likes you.
Originally Posted By: tadpole1025
I thought about getting something for my "friend" for Valentine's Day but have decided against it. I wasn't going to get anything like the typical flowers or chocolates, but just something to "thank" her for being my friend. I may wait though. I don't want to scare her off.
I think you're missing out on a great opportunity. She got you a small gift that showed she knows your interests and yet wasn't too "mushy." I think you should return the favor in kind.
But I know, you'll have multiple reasons why not .....
Sigh.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Love what Drew, Jack and Wonka have said. Can I tell you that I would love to be a guy about 90% of the time? Less formal is better.
Also, she does like you-that is obvious. She picked out a gift she "thought" you would like and she was on da $$$$. Even though I'm terrible at this stuff for myself, peeps say I'm good at looking at others Rs (this is why my phone blows up at all hours:)
I don't know how you and your xw met or how that R flourished. That is always going to be a reference point for you. However, I do know it's difficult to comprehend that Rs evolve in different ways. I don't know what kind of R you will have with the friend, although I think we can all tell the potential for *something* be it friendship or a more romantic R.
Don't sell yourself short. Just be you and keep it breezy. Let it transpire.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 02/10/1507:56 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I think you're missing out on a great opportunity. She got you a small gift that showed she knows your interests and yet wasn't too "mushy." I think you should return the favor in kind.
But I know, you'll have multiple reasons why not .....
Thanks Drew. I don't have "multiple" reasons. I just have one. I don't want to scare her. Maybe I will though. I still have time.
Quote:
Yeah ask her out for lunch again. But a little more like:
"Hey you want to grab lunch today?"
Less:
"I would formally like to invite you to lunch and if you say No I shall open up a vein with your letter opener. Why don't you women like nice guys?"
Yeah. Why don't women like nice guys?
As for asking her to lunch again, I'm going to wait. I've just sort of/kind of been turned down twice already:
1. When asked (hypothetically) if she dated co-workers, she said no.
2. When I asked if she would like to have lunch over a weekend a few weeks back, she said she would get back to me because she had some things going on. A couple of days later, she messaged me and said she was busy.
Quote:
I don't know how you and your xw met or how that R flourished. That is always going to be a reference point for you. However, I do know it's difficult to comprehend that Rs evolve in different ways.
I think that is part of the problem. I've never had to do this. My XW and I met very young. She was 17 and I was 16. She was a friend of my step sister's. She was attracted to me and I was attracted to her and we flirted a little bit here and there. One day she was at the house visiting my sister. When she went to leave, I walked her home because it was getting dark. When we got to her door, she planted a kiss on me that I'll never forget. The rest is history...
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
1. When asked (hypothetically) if she dated co-workers, she said no.
2. When I asked if she would like to have lunch over a weekend a few weeks back, she said she would get back to me because she had some things going on. A couple of days later, she messaged me and said she was busy.
I have read your threads Tad. I know what was said. I stand by my advice.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I understand you're afraid of getting hurt again. And in truth, you're not over your XW.
Asking her out to lunch will help you on that road to healing. If things don't work out, so what? You made a move forward. That's the main point. The thing about your pet rat is sweet, but again, you're putting more emotion into her than you are into humans. It's time to move forward.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Ok, Tad. The not dating co-workers comment happened pretty earlyin your friendship, right?
And yea, you asked about going out on a weekend. Saying it the way Jack suggested is a whole different thing.
Maybe she is a little gun shy, too. Maybe she wants to be pursued some. Who knows?
The thing is, she enjoys your company. That's clear. Because I'm thinking I would not be buying some guy I worked with a gift while I was away if i wasnt interested on some level.
You are going to get rejected in life. You just are. Not only in a relationship kind of situation, but, in other ways.
Here's the thing...you wont die from it. I mean, not everyone is gonna like us. Just like we arent going to like everyone. Not everyone is going to agree with us or see things the way we do. Not everyone is going to want to hire us.
Oh well, that's life, Tad. We have to pick ourselves up and move forward.
What is the worst that could happen? She says no. You will still have a job, an apartment, your health, your sons. The world isnt going to stop turning.
Sometimes you just gotta go for it and say what the h#ll. Sometimes when you do, amazing things happen.
