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#2535518 02/07/15 10:37 PM
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Calopie Offline OP
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Hi All! smile I know I have been told to detach, would like some clarity on exactly what this means. Does it mean physically as in not talking to the degree you were, seeing each other all the time ect or does it mean emotionally, but of course only on a surface level to your spouse as really we cannot detach the feelings we have for them? Or does it mean both?

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edz Offline
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Hi calopie

I can only give you my definition of a process I've tried to get a grip on. My definition would be to drop the attachment that allows you to be emotionally hurt by an action or lack of action of whomever it is. In other words you can still love them, still hope to be back with them but your life isn't about missing them or hoping they walk back through the door and their choosing to do something without or instead of you doesn't rip into you.

Hopefully the vets will be able to explain it better than I can but on the whole thats how I look at it.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Calopie Offline OP
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Thanks edz!! Yes that makes perfect sense all be in hard to do! haha I guess that is a progressive thing within oneself and I shouldn't expect to be pooping rainbows and unicorns over night! After 5 months I still am finding it difficult, especially watching it through the eyes of my daughter. Degree of faking it until I make it going on, I will get there though! Thankyou! xx

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There are lots of good definitions of it on the internet.
Look for them.

It is kind of like an onion with different layers, you get to different area by peeling them back.

Also fake it until you make it comes to mind.


Me-70, D37,S36

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