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Jbird Offline OP
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The trip to ND is about 1500 miles. I had planned the trip way before the BD, because I have some new wells coming online. The purpose of the trip is to see my mom and siblings which I haven't seen in three years. Mom has a very bad heart so it's important to me to still go. It will be easier to go as soon as I get my royalty money from the new wells than later after I start working.

I will be taking SND20 with me to see her grandma and relatives. She is mentally disabled, so she is an adult in age only, When I come back to Tx I will have to set up care for her while I'm working.

The trip will help me drop the rope, I think, because I will have family and friends to do things with and it will get me away from having to decide daily what to do or not do for STBX. I may even work some for my BIL when I'm there because he is a home builder and needs extra help.

For income I have framed some prints and put in my friends store. This month I have made a little under $400, not much but more than I had if I didn't put the product in the store. When I had my art gallery and custom frame shop I did 75 % of my business in December. So my hope is to put as much product in his store to be ready for December.
I will have my resumes sent out before my trip so I can job hunt hard when I get back. Although the royalties will not be what they could have been, because of oil prices crashing, they will be more than last yr because of the addition of the new wells.

I have not been served with D papers yet, but I'm sure STBX will take her SUV and the payments of $257 every two weeks. I will cut the cable bill in half or maybe even cut it out. She will take her jewelry that she has on credit along with the $155 payment and her dentist work that is on credit for $80/month. That amounts to almost $900 in bills per month. Before I bought the art gallery in 2k I was a retail store manager, so if I can land even an assistant mgr job I can replace STBX's income and have reduced expenses.

My posts may come across as being weak, but I am listening to what advice I am getting and trying to implement the advice. I know I did some things wrong but I am pretty sure I have shed my last year over this S. I don't feel sorry for myself anymore and I feel I will be free of a lot of drama when this is over.

Jbird


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 120
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Jbird Offline OP
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I shed a lot of tears the other day, but it was because I was writing a tribute for my father. It was the 15th anniversary of the last time I seen him alive.

Writing the tribute also made me ask myself what my father would do in my situation. He would have road of into the sunset. He would not have cried, begged or pleaded. He would have not said a negative word. I remembered him telling me when my first girlfriend broke up with me, you can't control what another person is going to do. He was a wise old cowboy!

Spent quality time with SND20 today, we went to a thrift store she likes and walked around for an hour. I am blessed to have her!

Vanilla made a post on Mozza's thread about detachment and it turned a light bulb on in my head. Thank you V!

Jbird


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 120
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Jbird Offline OP
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Today is attorney day for STBX. Sometimes I feel relief then moments later my hands are shaking. I know that I will be okay without her and most likely better off.

SND20 and I are going to start getting ready today for the trip to ND to see my mom. i am planning to stay there until STBX moves to MT in April. I have a lot of old friends and family to visit. Two of my brothers workout at the gym so I will join them when they go.


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Jb

Activity really helps.

This is a really hard day as W may get a wake up or appeasement.

You have a loving strong family behind you and by your side, let it be and please post to us.

Sending strength to you

Peace

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 02/20/15 07:58 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Jbird Offline OP
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V,

Thank you for sending me strength. It feels good to have support!

Even though the D was filed today, I have no tears. Still a little shaky, but I have a busy weekend with my SND20 so tomorrow will be a better day.

Jbird


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
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Rest your spirit and give yourself breathing space.

Realise that you are free to create your own destiny in your own direction.

This choice is now yours.

Gentleness

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 02/20/15 11:01 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 557
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Posts: 557
Jbird,

You are doing so much better. Keep up the great efforts. We have to be a friend to ourselves first.


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Posts: 120
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Jbird Offline OP
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V,

Thank you for your inspiring words, I needed them!

Karma,

Thank you for the compliment! I am feeling much better.

Today I took SND20 to a birthday party at 10am and looked for some winter clothes for our trip to the land of snow and ice (North Dakota). I didn't have much luck finding winter clothes at the stores I went to. When I picked her up at 1pm we went out to eat. Then we went back to the thrift store and found her a nice winter coat, some sweaters and long sleeve shirts. We laughed about being the only two people hunting for winter clothes in Houston. The temp was 75 here today. Yesterday or the day before the windchill was - 29 where my mom lives.

Tonight we have been packing our suitcases. She is excited to see her grandma, uncles, aunts and meet a cousin for the first time.


Jbird


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
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V
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Posts: 8,855
Good clothes and a thrift shop, prices can not say better.

Have a wonderful trip.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 120
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Jbird Offline OP
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Yes V, they have some clothes that still have the retail tags on them and many that have the dry cleaning tags on them that look new. Winter clothes and two suitcases for less than $70.

Last night our bus was canceled because of freezing rain in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. We are waiting for the weather to change, so we can reschedule. SND20 handled the cancelation very well and we even had a little fun. Three passengers approached me to ask questions. One man wanted to know the address of the bus station, another wanted to know the zip code and finally a young man in his mid twenties asked an unusual question. He said, "hey man do you know what town we are in?" I was grinning from ear to ear when I said, "we are in Houston."
I can say that, that is the first time anyone asked what town we are in while living in Houston! Maybe there was more than Redbull in the can he was drinking out of? The bus station is smack dab in the middle of Houston. SND20, STBX and I laughed about it until our bellies hurt.

I was given some asset/liability form to fill out for the divorce. I told her I would look it over on the trip and mail it back. I don't recall doing this for the last divorce.

Well I did take some frustrations out by myself in the garage. I had hid the vibrator STBX used when made the video for an old married classmate. Well I needed something out of my briefcase yesterday and there the dang thing is. I took it to the garage and pounded it to bits and tossed in the garbage. It set me off as if I had ptsd from the flashback of her sending it to OM. I guess papers for the D and the sight of the thing was too much, but at least she is not aware of my destruction tantrum in the garage!

Round two of our bus trip experience starts tomorrow night or the filling day.

JBird


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
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