Thanks Rppfl. Always glad to take advice. I think you might be right. A lot of signs that she is thinking about her choices. But she has to make her mind up to get help for her then maybe for us
Thanks again. I checked you thread and I had posted yesterday but it's not there. I will repost.
Your wife must be evaluating the choices she's made. What conclusion she reaches, if she reaches one, and what she'll do about it is anyone's guess. Just keep providing a warm loving home to give her something to miss.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi rppfl. Thanks for asking W here tonight so I'm quite down. I loved this woman with all my heart and now my bubble about her has been burst. I have closed myself off to her and like vanilla I always look for the worst so if it happens I can't be hurt.
W asked for a picture of D16 from last Xmas which I sent yesterday about 2.45pm. And last nite about 10pm she texted thanks. This developed into a 1/2 of texting mostly jokes. After I put the phone down I realised that I do not want this woman as she is. She has brought OM into her life and left my children.
I have a house in the country that W has full access to and I think it might be time to sell , give W her share and move my family away from the area. OM has lived here all his life and he isn't going anywhere Ws new life revolves around this area so even if things become amicable after OM is announced or OM is dismissd then life could never be as it was
Hi RD, sorry you're not having the best evening....generally, I think you're doing so well, and we all have our low moments.
It's a tough decision about the house, and presumably a big decision for your family if you planned to move to another area. I'm conscious it's still quite early days since your S - and your comments about future scenarios re: OM are looking a ways into the future, which may not be a useful place for your mind to go right now. This may not be the time to be making big decisions about moving.
If it helps, I have been thinking in terms of - right, what's my six month plan? Rent a flat? That's me covered for now. Probably in April, I'll need to start thinking about a new six month plan. For me, the uncertainty and financial insecurity aren't ideal with H using both our marital home and business flat (neither are in locations I want to be right now.)
Edz gave me some useful advice when I was thinking about filing for D - get it out of the box, turn it over, have a good look at it. Maybe put it back in the box, see how you feel etc. At some point, you'll be ready to take it out of the box and say, right it's time.
Hope this helps! Toots x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
So, RD, just so I understand, you are proposing moving the children away from their mother? I'm not expressing an opinion on whether that's right or wrong, just clarifying. How far away (travel time)? And do you need her permission or court permission to do that?
Thanks toots and Rppfl. I am just thinking about future. Rppfl. I would never do anything to harm my kids R with their mum. I defend her actions daily and my D10, D13'and S16 ask me why I am friendly towards her If we move it would be about an extra 40 mins for W to see kids. This is just thinking at the moment.
Last Wednesday my D10 saw OM in town after my W collected her from school My D10 was very upset and was crying and screaming D10 cannot understand why her mum won't drop this guy as a friend. This morning my D13 was sobbing so much that I had to take her to work with me. D13 told me she missed her mum and the reality of the sitch was sinking in.
Iam learning to deal with sitch but my kids aren't. I feel I need to protect them from expoure to OM ( generally exposure, not one on one because. They would not be subjected to that ) and the pain of seeing W leaving every day.
I asked for opinions so thank you both for posting. I apologise for not posting on others but at the moment I am struggling with kids and what to do make this easier for them Take care. Rd
Thanks Rppfl. It means a lot that people on here take the time to care. I have lots of family support and my L/C is one Iin a million. Everyone is telling me that I must be patient and that the journey is a long one but every fibre of me is screaming to resolve the sitch , one way or another
W has is now in the other froom with D20'watchimg a tv series She was just in with me to discuss D13s birthday gifts. I mentioned that D13 had asked to go to Eddie rockets for her birthday meal. W seemed to get a tiny bit upset because her birthday is two days before and we would normally have a joint meal for the two of them And this would suit W because she stays in house on a Wednesday. ( w birthday on Tuesday and D13 is on Thursday ) so this puts W out a wee bit. Oh well
