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He is stalling. Have you talked to a L yet? It sounds like he's trying to figure something how to where he benefits and not you. Be very cautious.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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I agree with ^^^. Time to take care of you and the kids. Lawyer up


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Mom22 Offline OP
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Mediation is obligatory first, i ve suggested 4 local mediators today. He can pick one. I want to make an appt for next week.
In the 1st conversation i will let him know i am moving out in a few weeks and that im changing daycare days so we can have consequetive days in a row taking care of D. Him from his town, mine from my moms place.

Ive consulted a legal aid who says i have a good case if it goes to court.
He can not stop me moving in with my mom (temporarily) and he can also not blovk me from taking my D 3-4d a week. This could mean him losing custody.
He does need to ok my permanent move but if he doesnt the legal guy said my case is good in court. Plus H is now considering moving to my town (36km away) too, if he can sell his house and finance the undervalue. Tho i dont know how long that idea will stick as hes so unpredictable.


Me: 36
Him: 36
DD: 3y
DD2: 1.5mo
Together: 5y
Married: > 3y
D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
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Mom22 Offline OP
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So today he was looking at houses in Amsterdam and i finally asked him are you ok with me looking at some apptmts tomortow.
He said yeah i guess so. It still [censored] that you are putting me in this position but i dont want to be a weekend dad and well... I dont want to live here forever anyway.
Good. Goal achieved. Unless he changes his mind back. Always tricky.
Im trying to be very positive about the chance he will sell his house within a year and the price he'll get to get him to formally agree to the move.

Karma i cant find that post anymore you wanted me to chime in on. Do you have a link? Susanah i think.


Me: 36
Him: 36
DD: 3y
DD2: 1.5mo
Together: 5y
Married: > 3y
D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 557
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Look how he is projecting blame. Not taking any responsibility himself as to my a move is happening. Ugh!

Thx for coming by my thread. I did respond to you there. : )


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Mom22 Offline OP
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I bid on the appartment today
I asked if he was ok with it first as i dont want to risk anything. But he s still planning to move to my town eventually and said " well Im not thrilled but you can do what you want". Good enough.


Me: 36
Him: 36
DD: 3y
DD2: 1.5mo
Together: 5y
Married: > 3y
D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 92
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Mom22 Offline OP
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Ugghhh just as i was starting to doubt my decision i found a screenshot of a textmessage he sent to his AP2 today. Today! Photos etc get uploaded to a shared folder automatically and I guess he forgot that or forgot to delete it.
It looks like they're still messing about though now just incidentally.
Just hurts and p*ss*s me off. He's acting like he's the victim bc Im now actually planning to leave but really nothing had changed. He still leads a double life completely.


Me: 36
Him: 36
DD: 3y
DD2: 1.5mo
Together: 5y
Married: > 3y
D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
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Awww... I'm sorry, I know what an ugly feeling it is to stumble onto stuff like that. But good that you don't get sucked into a false sense of him trying to reconcile, when he's still active in his affairs.

You know, he's probably NOT the kind of guy who made a mistake and is going to come back out of it once he wakes up - more likely, given his history, that he is a serial adulterer or a sex addict, and his problems go way deeper than most. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by doing what is best for YOU and your kids.

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Mom22 Offline OP
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Thanks KML. I do think you're right. Im sad but glad too that i saw that message.
15mins ago he came up to me and hugged me and said I love you.
I would maybe have fallen for that otherwise.


Me: 36
Him: 36
DD: 3y
DD2: 1.5mo
Together: 5y
Married: > 3y
D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 120
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Mom22,

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I know first hand how difficult it is to be betrayed. My W had a PA in 04, D me in 05, we got back together and she had a PA while we were dating. Then in 07 we remarried and last yr she had two EAs that consisted of sexting and sending an inappropriate video to one of the OM and now wants a D.

Keep your chin up you deserve better.

I'm also "high jacking" your thread because I'm trying to get ahold of KML because she helped me in my last DBing adventure.

KML, you helped me in 04, 05 and 06 at the time my screen name was JDD. I would like your help again if you can. I am now Jbird.


M 53
W 44
D25 D20 S22
PA 10/95
BD abt 2k EA
BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05
DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005
XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005
Remarried 12/28/07
BD 12/18/14
Sep living together
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