Part 10 - Contents may prove volatile

[edz]

Well dinner was good except I made waaaay too much rice and now feel as though I've eaten a hot air balloon nice and spicy though.

W called and she kindly booked tickets for s and I to go to a science exhibition on Saturday evening. We also spoke about her job and she has indeed now left after they couldn't or wouldn't help her with the issues she had with her health working there. She's got a good package so is ok for now. We also made provisional plans to go to IKEA as the three of us Sunday (this is a fuel thing she did jokingly say she didn't need to go around separately - I made it clear I dont need her to be "with" me so to speak - but she's not holding my hand) was a good call. W also sent me some pics of s enjoying himself at one of his events this week.

If I didn't know about "it" I'd be a happy bunny indeed. Dont get me wrong our "coparenting" mode is much better and I'm truly happy with r with s nowadays. I suppose I just know about the storm that's coming and its ruining the picnic if that makes sense.

Anyway dont want to sound like a sourpuss. Call was warm and I listened and validated her on the job etc we joked and I ended the call first.

[Sotto]

Edz, it's funny isn't it - if it weren't for "it," you would feel pretty happy about the interaction. I felt pretty much the same when H and I spoke weekend before last. It was an 'easy' conversation - lots of warmth, couple of laughs. But then this whole thing lies behind it where the WAS is planning things that we don't know. But we partly do know because well meaning 'others' tell us. But the WAS doesn't know we know etc..

Hard to take in really. Sometimes the whole situation just hits me around the head like a big wet fish. Mostly, I'm doing pretty well, but I just get stopped in my tracks. But in another way, I find it hard to imagine us together again....Oh well...

[edz]

Hi toots

I know exactly what you mean my friend. On the surface I have no reason to be down tonight but I am. Yes money is a big issue and its unlikely to change short term but the important things of short term r with w and my r with s are both on good terms.

The thing is I know about "it" I know w was purposeful and serious about "it" but I have no idea (god this is a tricky line to walk) if "it" is long term short term or even if she'll follow through. But I know "it" means no us.

I do wonder will she raise it with me but there are very good reasons she wouldn't and to be honest at this point from her perspective there's no reason to.

From one angle I just wish I didn't know. From another I won't get blindsided.

Sorry all I know the above is so much gibberish. Just helps to journal it at least as best I can.

[Ggrass]

It's ok, I get the whole discomfort with net profiles and dating.

So many of our was did this to us to find ow/om and the quality of these people often may not be what it seems.

I had some thoughts about my being asked about my weekend, I thought a reply could included Fabio standing me up! Lol

[edz]

Fabio again eh, now I'm detecting a theme in your posts you know!

W isn't posting up looking for om, not that either. Sorry I'm a confusing (and confused) soul right now.

[jim0987]

No worries edz, your struggling to process and deal with something thats clearly affected you and at the same time your being a good man and protecting your wifes privacy.

Its the kind of behaviour that is to be commended.

Trying not to cause you to give anything away that you dont want to i'm just going to ask a couple of yes / no questions to help me get a sense of how you feel about 'it'

Is it definitely true?
Is it definitely your wife?
Will she (or has she already) followed through?
Does it potentially cross a boundary for you on the possibility of M?
Has it already crossed that boundary?
Will it affect your ability to be in a non romantic friendship with your W?
Does it affect your relationship with your S?
Will it harm you financially in any way?

Or more simply - how do you feel about 'it'?

[edz]

Hi Jim

Yes
Yes
No*
Yes
No*
No
No
No (beyond d)

And depressed

* can't really yes no to these or it depends on aspects - sorry

[Ggrass]

Fabio again eh, now I'm detecting a theme in your posts you know!

W isn't posting up looking for om, not that either. Sorry I'm a confusing (and confused) soul right now.

Yeah, hot looking fantasy man who doesn't exist! even edzs is a cyber friend/date
For coffee. Well o drink plenty of coffee in my time here.

I get the whole not wanting to say, it's for the right reason too.

But jams questions are good ones, and they can be learnt and apllied in all drama that might occur not stich specific ones.

[jim0987]

Ok that makes more sense to me now. Depressed never feels good so i hope its short lived for you.

One more to ask then i think i'm done on the questioning. You said it potentially cross a boundary and I just want to get a sense of the nature of that boundary

Unforgiveable to you OR beyond what you are prepared to accept OR would mean you would no longer want to Reconcile OR confirms 100% that W is going down a different path with no prospect for return


Sorry if i'm asking too many questions - if its uncomfortable just say.

[edz]

Tricky one Jim. Im pretty acceptive but it just doesn't allow m to continue, can't really go beyond that.