Part 10 - Contents may prove volatile

[Ggrass]

Oh for work we had to wear hats, mine was referred to as a lamp shade. Lol

[gan]

V, Ive long noted in your signature "wanting an end to all the drama" I think thats my overriding feeling at the moment. It's no longer me pining for w (done with that since dec) even the aching for her to want to reconcile is dwindling its just a mourning for all the moments we had and wont have again now. Even found myself considering could we be friends to at least have those platonically in the future but I think that would just be way too painful especially if she chose to discuss romantic entanglements, I think I can move on but I cant be that level of friend to her without hurting myself.

Yes, I've been pondering this a bit lately, too. Things are shifting inside me and that's partially why I mentioned the 6 month club as it seems a few of us got to this place at around the 6 month time frame. But...I count Card in that esteemed club too and he's just updated that he wants back in to the M. So who knows what way the wind will blow next for us all?

I think I've figured out what is going on BTW. I don't think she's joined a convent and I think MI6 is out of the question. I think maybe your W is making plans to hitchhike to the galaxy, and you have a boundary that W must be a resident of this planet if M is going to work out. If that's it - and I think it could be - then I think you are handling things really well.

Respect to you Edz. I think holding back on this info to protect W's privacy is a very nobel thing for you to do.

[edz]

I think I've figured out what is going on BTW. I don't think she's joined a convent and I think MI6 is out of the question. I think maybe your W is making plans to hitchhike to the galaxy, and you have a boundary that W must be a resident of this planet if M is going to work out. If that's it - and I think it could be - then I think you are handling things really well.

Respect to you Edz. I think holding back on this info to protect W's privacy is a very nobel thing for you to do.

Thanks G (can I call you G, getting lazy with the numeric keypad )

Never thought of myself as nobel, just want to be fair to her, I still love, care and respect her even if she's no longer going to be my w.

Loved the hhgttg call out I wish the answer was 42 lol.

If you do work out why and reading back there probably are clues even though Ive tried to not compromise myself or her privacy you could see why this would be an end that I cant really see a way back from if it is truly what she needs to do anyway. If not that will be even more confusing nonsense If so I'd ask anyone not post it in so many words, the reasoning would be obvious.

Regardless working out my emotions is, as you say, an ongoing process, possibly the remnants of the rollercoaster - I'd be up for a 6 /12 / 18 month club, not sure we can have two threads going though (although the recent man cave / hen club seemed to do it - I purposefully stayed out of both, I don't do exclusionary no matter why its there, in the case of the former certainly wasnt anything I was interested in being part of and it ended exactly as I expected it to - run and moderated waaay too many forums and systems to expect a good outcome there) Anyway back on topic yes I'd be happy to.

Incidentally I did email the forum runners to ask about setting up some kind of db GAL dinner or similar IRL but they havent replied which Im taking as a no for now or possibly just something they dont want to comment on. For now its just our digital selves then.

[edz]

Oh for work we had to wear hats, mine was referred to as a lamp shade. Lol

like a "food service" style one, those always reminded me more of hairnets, lamp shades sounds....interesting.

[jim0987]

They haven't scheduled the earth for demolition have they?

I think I know where your coming from edz on a bunch if stuff and if its what I'm thinking then I can see why that's a deal breaker. At the same time whether it is us up to you. I hate to sound harsh though if she doesn't want to reconcile it doesn't actually matter except for if it impacts on your ability to be friends/coparents (and thats the more pressing concern/decision for you.)

Ill post more in a bit. Gotta go

[edz]

Not that I know of but I havent seen a door with beware of the leopard and a locked filing cabinet or been to alpha centauri.

Ok mate, if you get it I think you can see and at that point well...

You are completely right, Im not daft enough to say I dont mind on the decision, I do, I care very strongly and I love her but I cant flip switches in her mind and I accept that.

If we're done I'll walk away and I'll be the best dad I could ever be, I'll respect her boundries and we'll work on anything we need to for S to be the best he can be.

Right now, today, I know I cant be her friend, thats a boundry, theres no ultimatum theres no repercussion I simply cant be a friend and confident and all that true, deep, friendship entails and has been. I would be unable to separate the feelings that would keep resurfacing at that point and it would obliterate any chance at my being happy with someone else as well as being utterly unfair to her.

Coparenting is about love, caring and support for our son who we had through love for each other and for him. That I can do. In brutal terms if her relationship with someone breaks up Im not the man to tell (none yet that I know of thats not the "thing") if her stereo packs in I dont want to be called, if she's off having fun with friends and sees a funny picture I dont need to see it I dont want funny messages on facebook or to know her thoughts on growing child actors. If sons bed falls apart and she cant sort it out because of funds, I want to know, if he wants to go on a trip and she cant pay for it I want to know, if he wins an award... and so on.

I honestly think its that (and I expressed this clearly as a boundry back in September with warmth and sensitivity) thats keeping her tuning in and out.

I suppose my emotional side is loathe to give up on the slim (and getting slimmer) hopes of a future together its shouting out at me to find someone preferably w and thats screwing with what may end up being an unavoidably hurtful to all decision if w cannot bring herself to do it hoping I'll be the "bad guy".

For now, I'm keeping the course steady but I need her to be honest with me, I know - right now - she's not doing that fully. I cant and wont tackle her on it yet though for the same reasons I wont post the issue here. Its not my business yet - she left, she's gone, she's not promised me anything and I'm not expecting anything but her to say when she's done and wants to file, I have the same options. Just difficult closing the chapter on a third of my life really even if the story continues..

[Sotto]

Hi Edz, sounds like you are doing pretty well with 'the thing' - processing and working through it. You said that people may know what has happened from your posts - well, I'm in the 'haven't got a clue' group...and fully understand/respect if there are things that you don't feel you want to post on the forum.

Hope your bugs are departing, and that you'll soon be back to your usual sunny self. Shame about guitar. So, of course you won't be giving up on this midweek GAL plan....what's next on your list my friend?

At the moment, I'm trying to introduce a new activity a month....not all continue, but I'm trying to get one a month started. We S in July (7 months) and so far I have book club, infidelity group (GAL?) calligraphy group, volunteering, tai chi, yoga, aqua aerobics...so I'm on track. Pink has inspired me to think about latin american dancing (which I've never done.) I'm asking myself if 2015 is the year I learn to dance to Conga Del Fuego.....this may be my February GaL plan.

Should I lay down the gaunlet for a new GAL activity for you each month?? ;-)

[edz]

Hi toots

Love to say I'm doing well with it, its tearing me up a little but there's literally nothing I can do without either walking away or compromising my ethics / her privacy. Sigh...

The sad truth is "it" is something that I can't see allowing us ever to reconcile if it is a serious "thing" sigh...

On more fun subjects yes gal is coming on. Looking to join a gym on a cheapy plan setting myself a challenge to be less well less by July for beach weather.

Other gal...well ERM... Thinking on it

[Sotto]

Well Sire, in that case, the gauntlet has been laid down....

January GAL
Toots - new yoga class..

[edz]

Oh I see like that eh?



Shall think on it