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Hi Maybell, what a perfect way to meet someone. I think if this man is truly keen on you ( and it sure sounds like he is! ) he will respect your need to take it slow. a part of me wants to date and a part of me doesn't so I can relate to how you feel.

I admire the way you are with your kids. Mine all used to drive each other crazy too. Now as adults they are the best of friends.


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Stress level through the roof. Missing ANOTHER day of work due to snow (at least I have stuff I can do from home and demonstrate that I'm not just sacking out) and STBX is out of town. He has seen the kids for about 2 hours in the last three weeks but is texting D11 regularly. It's hard not to want to kick him. I've missed a lot of work while trying to do this single mom thing with NO help from him and I'm just lucky my employer is so understanding. Can't wait for spring when we'll get on a more regular schedule.

Did I mention that my regular babysitter is a month out from quitting so she can go back to sports? So I have to find someone quickly. My leads are THIN.

Old lawyer just emailed asking about my status. Appt with new lawyer on Monday. I'm sick of all this and can't wait for life to become more normalized.

I'm such a catch right now. Sigh.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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LOL, I suggested the wine because I was all over the place. Too much catching up to do, you know?

Quote:
Missing ANOTHER day of work due to snow (at least I have stuff I can do from home and demonstrate that I'm not just sacking out) and STBX is out of town. He has seen the kids for about 2 hours in the last three weeks but is texting D11 regularly. It's hard not to want to kick him.


Oh, yes, Maybell, I remember these days not so fondly. And my memories are looking through the rear view mirror. Pat yourself on the back and find something to amuse yourself today. Read a novel?

Back in March 2003, we got the mother of all snow storms the week before spring break. I had 33 inches at my house... it was awful. Here in Colorado, they don't close schools for snow much. Occasionally, we get a late start - which amounts 1 one lousy hour for elementary and middle school kids and 30 minutes for high school. (WTF?) Anyway, they closed school the entire week, and I couldn't make it to work even if I wanted to brave it. My girls were wrapped around the flag pole, and with each passing day, their behaviors deteriorated. I tried to add to my usual arsenal of snow day fun things - baking cookies, watching movies, staying in our PJs, but that only worked for the first couple of days. Then the sh!t hit the fan--we lost power. I was ready to tear my hair out. I also have a 3 car garage - translate to 3 car driveway. I tried like hell to manage the nonstop snow with little success. My 3 month old Golden was also insane. Every shovel full of snow, I cussed out my XH. While I was dealing with a house full of insanity, HE was at his apartment... holed up, reading his stack of books that he meant to read and just loving life.

I'm not going to offer the narrative of how unfair I felt it was, because much of it was just a resentful rant. I was entitled to some of it, but most of it was due to the fact that I was overwhelmed. It really felt like the inmates were running the prison. I think I had a lot of help digging out so I could drive to work for a little while that Friday, and I made those little biatches go with me. Oddly enough, it helped. :-) My then D9 was so happy to have 2 consecutive weeks of "sleep in days". All I can remember - to this day - is thinking I was slipping into insanity.

We never had that kind of storm again. If we do now, it's just me and D17 and we'll watch movies and read and do puzzles happily. Hang in there!

BTW, my boss was also very patient and understanding. I really appreciated him for that.

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Did I mention that my regular babysitter is a month out from quitting so she can go back to sports? So I have to find someone quickly. My leads are THIN.


Just remember that when one door closes, another one opens. It's *always* worked out for me, and I have a special needs kid. Trust that, Maybell.

On that note, have you checked with your school and asked around to any teacher aides or paraprofessionals who might need some extra money after school? I have always found those people are underpaid and want a little bit more to make their career choice work for them.

Hugs and good luck!

Betsey

p.s. I'm happy to report that here in Denver, it was 70 yesterday and supposed to go to 74 today. Yippee! But I'm not gloating... winter is coming back for the weekend. Snow and cold in the forecast.


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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Maybell Offline OP
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D11 on the warpath again. I'm trying so hard to be patient and she is just being intentionally HORRIBLE. I don't know how to cope while I'm trying (not very successfully) to work from home and field her disrespect and anger. She would be fine if she could just go outside but I can't let her treat me this way.

God give me strength and patience and creativity and calm. She is so disruptive.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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What does she need?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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She seems to need to go outside to play at her friend's house but she is SCREAMING at me and I don't want to let her leave the property while she's being disrespectful.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Maybell Offline OP
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I hate when things get so horrible like this. She finally came out and said that she's angry because I have to work from home and can't take them out on their new sleds. She hates that I'm working and don't have as much time for them as I used to.

I don't blame her for any of that. I'm doing the best that I can but it's not anything like what it used to be. I hate how they've changed too and it is so frustrating to not be able to explain it all. She wants to redecorate her room and can't understand why I won't plan that with her (kids don't know about divorce and move yet).

I am so angry with STBX when I have to deal with this stuff by myself. I want to hate him and also I want to just not care AT ALL about him but I resent like I can't even express how ANGRY I am with him for being such a cr@ppy dad and for leaving us like this. And now he's just sent me an email asking if I planned the boys' birthday parties and I want to kick him in the shins and say a half decent dad wouldn't delegate EVERY STINKING THING about his kids' birthdays to the other parent. He didn't even write "Love" on the gift tags for their birthday presents. He put "from Dad" on the electronic ticket.

I feel sad for my D11. I want her to have what she wants and sometimes I worry that I'm overparenting her because I don't want her to turn out to be an inconsiderate, narcissistic jerk like her dad. But she can't scream at me like she does either. I don't know how to find the balance at times like this.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Maybell Offline OP
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And welcome back, Labug, I hope you're OK.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Maybell - When it rains it pours.

I just wanted to let you know that in my experience - yes stuff seems to hit all at once (Lawyers need stuff, kids get sick or upset, work explodes, school projects are due, extracurricular activities ramp up).

I'm a few months ahead of you (in terms of the actual divorce) and I can tell you there are a few moments here and there where I feel all caught up and at peace. Fleeting and far between - but they do happen. smile

And you sound like a much more organized person than me - those days will come for you too!


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
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I don't know why people have such a high opinion of me around here. Sometimes I have wins, but I don't feel like a person who is anything out of the ordinary. D11 got to go outside but it didn't help her demeanor very much. I'm not at all on top of things -- haven't checked the kids' homework in a few weeks, I'm sure their grades are drooping.

Someday I'll get my feet under me. I just hope I still have three kids at home when that happens.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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