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You are insane gb - but so honest. You can't go wrong with being honest with yourself and sharing your truth with others.

I can relate to some of what you said.

My h was not my best ever but it was good. I do wish he was more aggressive in some ways but mostly I wish he had been more honest in the bedroom. It always felt like I had to guess what he was into and he couldn't say it. It was frustrating that I had to be the leader in sex games department.

I guess I thought this was a compromise I was making and I loved my h regardless. I thought no r is 10 stars in every department.

My h also had complaints that we weren't doing it enough. I didn't respect his feelings enough and justified that after having 2 kids doing it twice a month was nothing to complain about. I should have shown his feelings more respect


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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GB

Quote:
I love you. I do:).

You probably love the “thought of me”. Thank you for the compliment though.

Quote:
I just feel crazy and out of control.

Sounds to me like you feel crazy because you’ve found a side of you (aka – you want sex) that you do not understand. Normal if ya ask me.

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I know it takes time. I need to get my head together. I am a pensive one. I can't get out of my own f$&king head. Literally.

Time to stop saying “I know” and do something about it. Get out of your head! Can I ask you a simple question…..what does GB like to do beside work, kids, and think about getting some? Really….what kind of stuff do you like to do? What stuff have you always wanted to do?

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I was never sexually attracted to my xh.

3 kids and no sexual attraction? Hmm….sounds like this new GB is rewriting history a bit.

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I thought he was cute but I never respected him.

Define respect. What makes you FEEL respected? How do YOU show respect to others?

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I want someone to take charge.

What does TAKE charge LOOK like to YOU? Is this just from a sexual perspective or do you want someone to take charge overall? Define it.

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I want someone to want me

Who doesn’t. IMO, everyone wants to feel wanted and hell I would even say that as much as we say not to “need” external validation – I think on some level everyone does. I think the issue with “wanting to be wanted” …is trying to find the right balance. Do you feel that you are not complete with out this – IMO, not good. Feeling the need to want someone to want to be with you is okay….as LONG as YOU are okay with also being alone. Get me?

Quote:
I have these very sexually charged exchanges with men. I don't even feel bad. Yet. Maybe that comes later.

First you are divorced now. You really can do whatever you want as long as IMO, you do not go against your moral fiber.

You want what you want and you want it now. I get that. Here is the thing….it will come, when it is the right time for YOU (and YOU do not determine that imo). Wanna go get some lovin…I say go for it as long as you are aware of the impact it will have, which could be good or could be bad.


GB, you are at an interesting time in your life…a time, IMO, where you are really trying to find out who GB really wants to be. The natural tendency is to think that someone else can help you figure that out – IMO, they can’t. You need to find GB first and foremost….then…..you’ll find what you are looking for.

Oh…and you are not crazy.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Thanks BK and Eric. I am grateful for you both listening to me babble. Eric, I don't love the thought of you- I love that you call my Kim
Kardashian like a$$ out on my caca :-). I am contemplating what you said and this is where I am... The idea of being naked with anyone right now disgusts and repulses me. So much for last weeks' shenanigans of wanting the sexay times.

I feel like gum on the bottom of a not very cute pair of shoes. Perhaps a pair of flats. I don't wear flats. I'm not sure what my deal is but I'm feeling kind of down. As in if Ryan Gosling knocked on the door, I don't know of I would answer. S4 turns 5 tomorrow and I'm not sure why I'm so sad..... Blah is a better word. I want to curl up in a ball and hide for a few days or weeks. Can't do that. Have my annual conference later this week so I'll be away for 6 days.

Maybe it's all of the valentine's stuff I see? Don't know as I've never really celebrated that. I am envious of those that say they are "anxious" or "ready" to date. I'm pretty sure I would welcome water boarding over that. Downer I am right now. Bleeeech! Actually, I think some stems from my last conversation with my mom a couple of weeks ago when she said that "she was ready for me to date." Wtf? I've never discussed dating a day in my life with my mother. For those of you that follow along, I'm the one who never told anyone I was getting married, got married , and I never announced my 3rd pregnancy. I assumed everyone figured I hadn't swallowed a watermelon. I told my parents when I was about 5 months along with my first. I didn't announce my divorce either. I am very private about my life (except here).

Then my mother told my brother, if she could just pick who I dated she would do a good job. Holy he!! no !!!! My mother would pick a man who was socially inept, living in his mother's basement , had 3 eyes, and had not seen sunlight since Clinton was in office. Oh and he would sweat incessantly and have 9 chins. What is wrong with her? I'm being dramatic I know.

Hope everyone is well and sorry to be an expired glass of milk.

Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/25/15 09:23 PM.


3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
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Let me just get this out of the way first.....Ryan freakin Gosling comes to your house..you figure out a way to answer the door. GB...I mean it's RYAN GOSLING!!! smile

I really am sorry you are feeling down. Just so you know, you're not alone. It's going around. It's probably all those things and winter and the holidays passed and we ate too much. Ok, well...I ate too much. LOL! (gained 6 pounds..who does that in a one week span?)

I get the blah feeling..having it myself.

As far as not feeling ready to date. Aint nothin wrong with that, G. Everyone gets there is their own time. There is not timeline for it. It's best to be really ready for all of that.

Yea, your mom talking about you dating...."Akward"!!! She just wants to see her daughter happy. They mean well in their own way.

I hear you on the being private thing.

You feel how you do. There are no wrong feelings.

So, what can you do for you to help you get over this bump in the road?

Hang in there, G. This too shall pass.

Last edited by uRworthy; 01/25/15 09:42 PM.
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Georgia,

Your post is hysterical. With that sense of humor, I'd be beating your door down if I swung that way.

Here's to hoping you bring your sexy back. I found myself with a girlfriend yesterday in TJMaxx sniffing all those lovely lavender and grapefruit soaps, and looked up at a dude in flannel pants (pajamas?) staring at us. In my sexiest come hither voice I asked if he wanted to come sniff bath soaps with us. His face was worth it. He turned bright red and walked away. So maybe start with the ones that have three eyes, don't take it too seriously. smile

Happy birthday to your daughter.


Mid 30's
Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH
D 9/15; NC forever on

You can't DR your way out of abuse.



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GB

lol .. your way with words kills me ... and there is a big part of me .. the hidden one that is afraid of 2x4's that totally gets where you are at. There are nights I am totally comfy in my own skin and think of all the ladies I could generously portion myself out to .... then there are nights I feel like a beggar on the street wishing I could just get some loose change winks.

I think its the cycle thing, all normal .... lets face it we are all out of our element a bit, its like waking up in the middle of streaking through the quad, first you feel wild and free and naked .. then the cold sets in and you want to find a place safe and warm to hide for a bit.

You are a good one, you know it, we know it ... I am sure anyone who knows you knows it. Like you I keep private too ...there is peace in that, I don't need anyone coming at me wanting to twist the knife ... I am getting used to the way things are, just as like you .. you are still working through your emotions and thoughts .. we all have to figure this out. You'll be good ... take the ups and downs for what they are ... just part of the ride.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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UR-thanks for stopping by. Your wisdom is genuinely appreciated by me and many others. I *know* logically this will pass, but this chick is in quite the funk. My original commentary was that even if Ryan Gosling was selling Samoas, I wouldn't answer the door. You are right. I would get up, play a quick round of tonsil hockey with Ryan, grab the Samoas, thank him and slam the door. That's my best offer of southern hospitality at this point.

Z-thanks for stopping by. I'm sorry you find yourself here although it's the best place to be when you feel like a do-do bird pooped on your head. It gets better. It really does. I'm just in a bit of a hole and I need to put the lid on the fungetti frosting and turn off Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud." I was going to say put on my big girl pants but I'm afraid if I keep eating I will seriously need those and that is a very sensitive topic for moi.

Cali- I'm going back to Cali. Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years. Okay-a year. Remember when LL was a rapper? Thanks for dropping by. You are doing well :-). I'm glad to hear that and I love a good 2x4 in my honesty. Nothing says "hot" like splinters in your head. Much to the chagrin of some in my life, I do try to operate with honesty and candor. Maybe a bit too honest. And I sanitize my humor here as I have a very, very tawdry sense of humor. I'm not changing that:-)

So, I have a self imposed moritorium on chatting with men not firmly in the friend zone. It is needed and I think that may be part of my blah...a little withdrawal? I can't handle it right now. Really. I can't. It's too much. Although, in the last month I purchased myself an arsenal of scandalous lingerie. I didn't know they really made push up bras that put your boobs next to your ears Jessica Simpson style. I mean if you look in this drawer, you can tell I'm ready for ...something. I just need the VS wings. Seriously, I'm not sure why I did this. I mean I do look kind of sexay in it but what will I do with it? Wear it to the mailbox? The 77 year old man across the street might get a chuckle out of it. Walk the dog? Wear it to Target? The kids's hoops game? I know I sound crazy. I do.

Speaking of, the older 2 had a basketball game last night. I was really impressed with how D10 conducted herself. When she was younger, her inner Richard Sherman came out on the soccer field and I had to physically remove her from the field once. She conducted herself with grace and displayed good sportsmanship. I told her I was proud of her. That being said LeBron and Kevin Love are safe:-)

I feel a smidge of softening to xh and him to me. I don't feel much of anything for him at this juncture. I'm sure that will change. We have exchanged some brief pleasantries. I'll just keep driving my purple Yugo with faulty breaks on this high road. At least it has a vanity plate that says "CRAY CRAY"

I'm sorry that I'm not not sparking water. I am trying to get out the funk. Sending everyone positive vibes. Come on GB. Get Happy. That was a nod to the Partridge Family, peeps.

Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/27/15 02:18 PM.


3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Bikini small
Heels tall
She said she liked the ocean

Even stranger then LL being a rapper is Queen Latifah - when she was dare I say radical.

I guess we all grow up


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Can I change your Nickname to Round-The-Way Girl?? ... .Standing at the bus stop sucking on a lollipop Once she gets pumping it's hard to make the hottie stop .... sounds alot like you!!

The Yugo visual had me crackin up a bit .... no doubt that Cray Cray license plate was blinged out

Shake off the funk .. must be the moon or the weather because I have been struggling with it for the past few days too .... then I just pretend I'm Ryan Gosling .... seems he is a big deal from what I've heard ... I need to Google


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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GB, you freakin crack me up. And thanks for your kind words.

Hey, aint nothin wrong with having some pretty lingerie..why the heck not?

Let me tell you, the 2 x 4's back in the day...were tough ones. I was thankful for each and every one of them.

So..the funk..happens to all of us. Sometimes its not one thing. Sometimes its everything. Because let's face it, this is not the way we thought our life was going to go, right?

But I know this was a journey I was meant to go on, without a single doubt in my mind. Hard as it was, and man, was it ever, I am so thankful for it.

I still get into funks, though. Sometimes because Im not where I want to be. Sometimes because I am getting ready to make a leap and I have some fear.

They always had some meaning for me, though.

And I always tried to sit with them some before I figured out what I needed to do.

I suspect you will figure it out and move forward soon.

Til then, "Funktown, funk you up, funktown funk you up." LOL!

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