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#2530235 01/23/15 05:05 PM
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Joe46 Offline OP
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I am new here, but I have been reading the posts on this Forum for a few weeks. I am half way through Divorce Remedy. The book and the posts on here have helped me so much. I have been through a nightmare for the past 8 months. 8 months ago my wife began to change. Became very distant to me. No hugging, no sex. She began working alot. She works from home at night. Complained about me alot. When I tried to talk to her she would not talk about our relationship. We fought all the time. Divorce has been brought up several times. We have 2 children at home still. 3 kids graduated and out on their own. I have been miserable and lost on what to do. It wasn't until I started detaching and working on myself, that I started feeling better about me. I am so glad I found a place so I don't have to go through this alone.

Joe46 #2530263 01/23/15 06:00 PM
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Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.


Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2530265 01/23/15 06:02 PM
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if you add a signature it gives people a bit more info about your situation.

Is there OM involved do you know?


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Ontheup #2530276 01/23/15 06:39 PM
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Thank You. I am really new to this forum stuff. I am not totally sure on the OM thing. A few months ago I would have said that I do think there is another man involved. But lately I have quit snooping. She works from home and never leaves the house except to go to the grocery store or post office. We live in a very small town. Several month ago I found a guys name on her work phone. Guess I have stopped snooping because I figure if she is having an online affair or EA than she will have to answer to God for what she is doing. I am worrying about myself right now.


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Joe46 #2530610 01/24/15 08:36 PM
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Joe46 Offline OP
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I am kinda struggling today. I am struggling with patience. I am struggling with understanding. I can't understand how my wife can talk to me like nothing is wrong. I am really restraining myself from not asking her when all this nonsense is going to stop? When are you going to come back to our bed? This sleeping in separate rooms kinda [censored].


Me:44
EXW 44
Wonderful Children
M11, T14
BD 6/14
OM Confirmed
Divorce Final 2/25/16
"It works if you work it!"

Joe46 #2531230 01/26/15 09:51 PM
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Hi,

I am sorry for the situation you are in. The best advice I can give you is to speak with a Divorce Busting Coach today. Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best guidance on how to save your marriage and get things moving in a more positive direction. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Cristy #2531411 01/27/15 12:12 PM
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Hi Joe

Im in the same boat although i do know my wife is having a PA and confornted her about it.

What you have to realise is that your wife checked out a long time ago. Its hard I know. Im having a really down day today but you have to try and work on yoursef. You can only control your actions. Do not ask her anything. It just comes across as needy and persuing. Do not mention OM if there is one. It does sound like she is involved with someone else be it EA or PA. it doesnt really matter becasue for a woman a PA is still all about the emotional side. Read up on the affair FOG so you get an understanding of what she might be going through. It helps to understand why the person you have known for many years, is basically acting like someone you dont know. I know you want to shake her and say wake up but in her mind, you are the one at fault, you are the reason for her unhappiness and she thinks her happiness will be fullfilled if she is with someone else. We all know that is rarely the case. Although she wont show it she will also hurt.
You need to try and detach, work on you, spend time with your kids. Be civil and friendly around her whilst getting on with your day to day life. Eventually she will work it out. As you might have already seen sometimes that takes years. DB'ing isnt so much about saving a marriage as it is about saving you.

Be strong and keep posting. I get great comfort from others on here.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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