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Stacey, I'm sorry your D was upset. It's kind of a catch-22. You don't want them to be best friends but you don't want them to hate OW so much it interferes with the relationship with their dad. Overall, I guess that's his to workout and I'm glad you were there to comfort your D.

Yes, take the high road. And make sure your L is walking beside you.



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Stacey- it says a lot about where your H is at that he didn't warn his adult daughter that OW was living with him before they met.

I know there are lots of struggles, both practical and emotional right now for you, but you will come out better for them in the end.

Your H? Not so much.


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Thanks Maybell, RPP and Raliced for your kind words.

He's been round to see the kids plenty of times when I've not been there and he could have told them then, but didn't. It's as if he thinks its no big deal. Which has pretty much been his attitude throughout this - I'm with someone else, so what, I've done nothing wrong, get over it.

And I think it would have suited the OW to have his daughter find out about it, then the whole family know they are officially a couple.

I'm slowly beginning to see a brighter future ahead for myself and can see good things happening. But I know some days are good, some are horrendous. Everybody here knows what it's like.

Thanks again for your input, much appreciated.


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An appliance in my house isn't working, it seems to be an electrical fault. H would know what it was straight away and could easily fix it. Should I ask him? Or should I call a professional in (will be expensive).

If I asked him I don't think he'd refuse but he may not be happy about it.


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Stacey, has he fixed other things? Has he said he's willing to help out?

My S agreement specifically spells out that H will help with things around the house. I put them on a list on our Cozi ap and he checks it from time to time and takes care of them. It works for us. But I know not everyone is going to be able to handle it that way.

I think I'd ask first, all he can do is say no. You don't really have much to lose.



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Rpp, he has fixed a few things in the house and I always show him I'm very grateful for it. He's not offered his services and I don't think he wants to maintain any kind of friendship with me whatsoever. In fact he only comes to see kids when he's passing, or when he's out of his house on another errand and he drops in, which makes me think OW doesn't know he's coming round every other day.

I'm a bit reluctant to ask him as things with the L's are getting a bit heated. Does this mean I have no right to ask for his help? I have no idea. He wanted me to sign the agreement as quickly as possible but I have instructed L to look into things a bit further which I know he's not happy about.

It's a difficult situation.

Thanks for your advice.


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Originally Posted By: stacey9
I'm a bit reluctant to ask him as things with the L's are getting a bit heated.


Well.....in that case, I'd probably spring for the repairman. Worth something not to have to talk to him.



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It's sad that your ex did warn your D. that he was living with OW. I can imagine how hurt she felt to see pics of them and none of her. It's amazing how fast they move in together. My ex moved the OW in within weeks of our split. The rose does fall off the bloom quicker that way though. My Mum used to say quick to flame the flame will fizzle


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Thanks RPP, you're probably right, I'll try and find a local handy man!

I'm not trying to delay matters, or financially ruin H, I just want to make sure I get exactly what I'm entitled to, and at the moment that is proving tricky.

Thank you too Karma. In your sitch - did your H and OW live together for a year and a half? I hope my H and OW tire of each other quickly, although at the moment they are renting a house and H has told me he is keen to buy a property so it will be interesting to see if they do it jointly. Then they are really tied together.

D20 was very upset about them living together, it was heartbreaking to see her like that. How dare they upset her. The H I knew would never hurt his family and would do anything to protect us. How times change.
Thanks again for your input.


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The Ow lived at the house for 9mths. Then she moved out but was till around for another few months. My ex said it was a huge mistake having her move in and he was very stressed out. She was from Eastern Europe so he kinda stuck with her until she could get a place on her own. See during an affair the life they have together is all fantasy. It was fun and exciting to cheat and hook up all over Europe while he was travelling on business. A little different when real life with all the everyday stressors kick in. Not so fun then!


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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