Toots is moving forwards..

[Vanilla]

Toots

Tell me a little more about the group. Is it similar to a twelve steps group. one room for those having the A, and one for the SO?

V

[Sotto]

Thanks SRD, Edz and V.

Edz, I always wanted to work in a bookstore too - so this GAL is fulfilling a dream for me - even though I don't get paid. Funny, I have a friend who's training to become an archivist. She was talking to me about digital archiving, saying many of the archivists struggle with it as they love the old paper stuff so much.

V, the group I went to was mostly LBS. WAS could go, and we did have one guy who came, but LBS and WAS couldn't come as a couple. At the start of the group, we talked to our neighbour about our sitch, and some themes were then shared and put on the flipchart. Then the group decided which themes to discuss, and explored these together for an hour or so. It was very helpful - most of the attendees were piecing, but I started going a few weeks after BD.

It was run by Andrew G Marshall, London based author and marital therapist.

Have a good day all!

[jim0987]

I have some of his books.

Sounds like a couple of good developments for you there. that support group could be an interesting development (limit your expectations though)

If you get a chance i'd be interested if you could elaborate how it worked a bit more, the sort of questions you asked/were asked etc.

[Sotto]

Busy day for me today - GALing at a calligraphy workshop. I have been to a few of these in recent months, and am getting to know the group a little better.

I can be a bit quiet and self-contained if I don't know people, but I made an effort to chat to a couple of new people today and it was very nice. I'd like to get better at connecting with people. Sometimes, I focus too much on what people might think of me, and that means I withdraw a little in fear - and then I don't establish connections with them, which was what I had feared in the first place.

Something for me to work on some more I think. I do have some close friends, but they aren't in this area, and I would like to make new friends here too.

Feeling a bit negative about H at the moment. Remembering how he told me our R was 'perfect' after I discovered his EA. But at that point he had decided to start 'dating' women when he was working away. Then he told me how overwhelmed with love he was for me and wanted us to renew our marriage vows, then 2 weeks later his EA turned into a PA. I haven't felt that angry lately, but I felt angry today thinking of this. I do feel he didn't give us an opportunity to work on things and that he just checked out of our M without really telling me he was unhappy with 'us.' I know this happens in a lot of cases.

Did my bashing of pillows on the bed with a rolled up newspaper trick which helped. Other than that, all's well with me this weekend.

Toots :-)

[edz]

Evening toots

Calligraphy sounds interesting, artistic illumination or more of the flowing lettering? I don't have the fine motor control for it myself (motorcycle accident in my teens and other fun left me with a multiple fractured and healed hand) admire anyone who can do it though it can be quite beautiful.

The pillow idea is great, if you're cooking anything that needs tenderising thats helpful too

[Sotto]

Hi Edz

I like illumination mostly, and I've done a few illuminated letters for people on special occasions. It was my Dad's 80th last year and I did one for him. He was very pleased and visitors often get shown it, which is nice.

Today we were learning how to use gold leaf, which was great for me. I used gold paint for the letters I did, but being able to use leaf instead is great.

Thanks for the tenderising tip. I'm vegetarian though....I could end up with a lot of mashed dinners doing that...;-)

Hope you have a nice breakfast tomorrow!

Toots :-)

[edz]

You can do crushed veg and roast it as well

[Zelda09]

Toots - I'm trying to catch up on your thread, sitch. You seem like you're in a pretty good place right now?

You posted something on Calibri's about the 6 issues, and offered to post more if there was interest - I'm definitely interested if you can find time to share more.

[Calibri]

Toots, please post more about the six issues. It's probably too late for me, but I would love to see it.

[Sotto]

Hi ladies. Thanks for stopping by. No problem, I'll have another look at that chapter and post the strategies for dealing with it - next instalment to follow shortly!

And Calibri, it isn't too late for you unless you decide that. This may feel like the point of no return, but it may just be a set back from which you can recover.

I'm away from home tonight, but will post again later today.

Toots x