I'm glad the direct deposit is all taken care of. Yes, you are detecting a change in him. He's relieved that things are finally getting taken care of. Yes, he could have done more of the foot work a while back, but like most MLCers, he was dragging his feet. Heather, you will find that getting the money sent to your account is a whole lot better for you and definitely it will be less stressful. Now, you will be able to access your account and see exactly when the money has been deposited. You might even want to consider having your bank send you a notice via email when a deposit is made. I have that and it's great to know when things have been deposited. You could even do this w/your paycheck.
I'm glad you set a boundary with the perfectionist. He needs to know that there is life after the paper. He sounds like a lonely man who has no life and the paper is his life/baby.
Stay positive. One hurdle down w/the h and just a few more to go.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Smokey isn't happy and relieved things are finally getting handled. In fact, I think he's feeling a bit of the opposite. Playtime is over. He is being forced to pay for the consequences of his actions. He is drifting back into husband/father/provider role a bit and, then, back to angry victim mode.
Sort of a Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde..."Oh, it feels good to be taking care of my family again the way I'm supposed to/I effin hate that b-tch for shutting down my endless party and making me pay--literally/but, I've been pretty miserable and miss my family/what have I done?"
I know and believe he is able to change his frame of mind on a dime because of how conflicted he is. I don't believe he has ever really wanted a divorce. I believe he, down deep, wanted to play, play, play and, then, come home with his tail between his legs.
I know it's mind-reading. That's all for today. It's all confusing. I still don't want a divorce. I never wanted a divorce throughout. I, mainly, wanted the support issue handled.
No worries, peeps. I'm not pulling the emergency stop cord/not stopping the train now. It's just confusing and hard when I see glimpses of the man I knew and loved.
Staying the course.
Job, I've been thinking a lot about your thought that he fired me. He, in actuality, replaced me and never fired me...almost worse than being fired. Sorta like being told you are still holding this position, but you've been replaced and I have no intention of paying you or giving you any benefits the remainder of eternity...Just keep hanging.
Bottom line: Somewhere in the midst of this journey, I reclaimed the 12-year-old girl I was when I met him. I placed him on the reject pile then because he was troubled and obviously bad news. That's where he sits today...back on the reject pile. Not Heather-worthy today.
I will continue to be empathetic and kind...but, stay-the-course I'm on until he makes some bold moves to prove his worthiness.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Send the text message to your lawyer concerning the $500 and let him deal with it. Evidently your h either forgot that he owes you over $600 a month or he's testing you to see if you will just go along w/what he's paying you. Don't play his game...go w/what the court deemed appropriate.
You've gotten a lot done and should be able to breathe a bit better. I'm glad you got the car situation taken care of. On to addressing new issues today at the paper.
BTW, not splitting hairs, but yes you were fired as his wife and companion. When they walk out the door and leave us behind struggling day end and day out and take up w/another individual, yep, we a fired because we are no longer allowed to share their lives w/them. True you were replaced, but in my mind, you were fired, i.e., just like all that post here. We become the former employees that are now compartmentalized in their brains until they need something from us.
Yes, it's a harsh way of putting it...but it also will serve as a reminder to help you to remember that you need to keep your business hat on when dealing w/him.
How did things go w/the perfectionist today? Everything okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, he sends me this email that says they want to meet with me after my one month extension is up. He and the publisher want to meet with me.
Well, that makes me a little nervous...so, I reply that this is fine, but can he give me a head's up on what will be discussed? Should I have story ideas ready? Work on my resume? Whatever...
I answer a few other questions and he responds with "Ok. Thanks."
I have a feeling this has a lot to do with control. He's butter in my hands when I give him some good ol' kiss a$$.
Anyway, we have our phone meeting and he says they want to talk (in the meeting next week) about where we are at with the paper...what is strong, what needs work, what is weak, etc...It didn't sound too terrible. He didn't mention the resume comment which I think is pretty much a dicck move because I have the right to have a little crumb of job security after working my a$$ off.
Then, he goes over the paper with his typical fine-tooth comb...I get a knock for a putting a really cool picture of a snowy owl on the cover. Most of the mistakes weren't bad for a newspaper put together for one person. IDK.
In my reply email, I did make it clear that I was told by the publisher, in our last meeting, that he still considered me the editor of both newspapers (the weekly and the farm and dairy). I made it clear in the email that, if given the choice, I would take the farm and dairy over the community weekly and that is the main reason I took this job.
We shall see.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
