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LoisB Offline OP
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It's my bank. Just called. It's a starter check and they won't accept it. I texted Smokey and told him it needs to Weatern U or electronic transfer.


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I'm a bit relieved. Making pancakes for D12.


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Smokey is asking for my bank account info. I'm not comfortable with this. Can't he send it Western Union?

Or, should I give it to him?


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I would talk to your bank and see what they can recommend. I don't think I would give him that info unless bank says is ok.


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My initial reaction was don't give him your banking info but I just thought about it and its actually totally fine to give him that info and it will definitely make your life easier. He will not be able to access your money but he will be able to transfer money to you.


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If I was given account number and routing number, I can pay a lot of bills on line with that info as well as buy stuff.


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Heya Heather,

I gave that info to my XH. He used it to set up direct deposit, which I get every other Thursday. smile

Betsey


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Give him the bank information and you can always monitor your account for a while to ensure that the money is coming in and none is being taken out.

I know you are trying to get things done and quickly, but you have to work with your lawyer. You have to trust him to do the right things for you. He's the one that knows the law and what can and can't take place. You are the one paying the money to have him do this. The more you do things on your own and not run them by him, the more tangled up the situation gets, the longer it will take and yes, the more money and effort it will cost to get things straightened out.

Call your mom and ask her to help you out with some money for the time being...but with the understanding that you will pay her back as soon as the checks start coming in.

Breathe. Stay calm and try not to panic. When you panic, you do things that you later regret. You have to remain calm and steady for this stuff.


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Your bank should have accepted the check and put a 5 day hold on the funds, with $ 200 same day availability. If its a CU it might be a different hold time and availablity amount.

Wiring instructions are generally considered safe as long as your bank has the proper security protocol in place. If neither of these are a good option for you, the next best solution is to get smokey to send a money order or cashiers check.
Good luck!


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Thanks for all the feedback.

I ended up giving him the bank information and I was really impressed with how he handled things. He had an automatic deposit set up within 45 minutes. I had to help by giving him some information. He paid an additional $15 to make the money move through more quickly. He offered to overnight it if need be.

I know it could be temporary or just the fact the divorce is impending...but, I honestly think Smokey is having some clarity. Something feels very different.

I didn't give him any other information today and ended the conversation with him after the bank stuff was handled. I just told him to have a nice day.

IDK. I'm shelving it for now.

The perf. editor called me at 6 p.m. this evening and asked I call him back tonight to go over the paper. I set a boundary by texting him that I could meet in person tomorrow, but not tonight.

A good sign, from him, he doesn't want to meet in person...said tomorrow over the phone is fine. :-)


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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