Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
I'm thinking 5 days no contact to your thread is a good thing! I hope all is well!
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
No change on the R front but I have been doing a little more GAL. Started my photography course and love it. 4 more weeks and I might sign up for the 2nd course too! Worked a few days, my regular Friday night softball, had some fundraising for D13's team on Saturday. Didn't run all week though...:( my running partner got tied up at work and it was a little too cold to motivate myself! We were going to run this morning but she suggested lunch and shopping instead! Had a good time, weather is nice again so we had lunch on the water and did some shopping.
I have a feeling we may be in this limbo for quite a while. I know I'm supposed to believe "none of what he says" but some of the comments he makes are definitely "you and me" not "us or we" and seem so final. But, he's still here and not moving forward with D either. So, it is what it is for now. I need to continue to work more on focusing on me and a lot less on us or him.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
Welcome Back! You've been busy. Thats great to hear. I think over time it will change your husband b/c you are living the life that you want. I say keep living that life.
I was thinking also, did you ever have a DB coach? I had/have one and she's great. Having one really focuses on setting goals and meeting them (which you are doing in GAL, but it may help with breaking the limbo cycle).... Just a thought.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
I have considered a DB coach and I'm sure it would help, but I just can't afford it. My credit card is pretty jacked up and unfortunately if it comes to D I need to use that to pay for a lawyer.
Yesterday was my birthday, H wished me a happy birthday in the morning, I really didn't expect him to so that was nice. The girls always want to do something for me, they asked what I wanted a couple of weeks ago (new running shoes!) so when I got home there was a card and chocolates with a gift card!! There was also a cake which I had assumed D16 picked up or asked H to but he actually did that all on his own! Very nice! He offered to take D13 to practice too but I wanted to go!
Had my 2nd day of photography class today, learning a lot but it's a little trickier than I thought! Hope it all sinks in so I can apply it!
Other than that had a killer headache today and missed my run....
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
It seems as if he is trying, or at least there are moments that could be interpreted that way. It seems that GAL and detaching are helping. What do you think?
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
I think GAL is helping...at least helping me feel more in control of my life. Don't think I'm detached at all.
I'm in limbo right now and although I was a mess about it a week ago I'm ok with it for now. I need to continue to have patience. I don't know if he'll ever decide to work on our M or if we'll ever be able to have a M that we both want to be in where we both feel loved but until I'm ready for it to be over I have to continue to have patience, patience and more patience. It would be great if he would communicate but that isn't happening.
Friday night my game got cancelled when I was on my way there, when I got home he said he was thinking about going to a sports pub. We ended up going and having a couple of beers and some wings. I think I need to relax, I'm so worried about "not being the same negative person" he thinks I am and I get so caught up in "should I say this or that" what can we talk about that we can connect on....I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Anybody out there have any advice oh what I could or should be doing in this state of limbo I'm open to suggestions!
BIL stopped by last night, we were talking about people from our hometown and he brought up somebody and her situation and what her name was on facebook (she's divorced and with somebody else but kept her married name on FB) made a comment sarcastically "it's on facebook so it must be true" and laughed. Here's me thinking about him changing his relationship status to single on FB yet he is still married. WTH?? Oh well, I'm trying to stop asking the why questions but somethings just make me LOL! Looked in a mirror lately!
Photography class, IC appt, hopefully back to running this week and D13 has an out of town tournament this weekend. Oh, and a hair appt! Trying to see what else I can add to my week!
Last edited by lost18; 03/02/1505:26 AM.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
What a great perspective! You are doing so many positive things! You are definitely living your changes and it's great to see.
I still see the word "limbo" kicking around in your posts. Do you really think you are in limbo? I think you use it to describe your situation, in which, you are waiting for him to identify that he wants to work on the relationship or wants to leave. I don't think you are in limbo. Your life and your identity are getting stronger. You are making changes which have enabled more time with him. Him being more considerate about movies, dates or tournaments with the kids, etc. Change is happening.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
