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#2529981 01/22/15 09:52 PM
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I figured I should make a new thread for those of you that do like to keep up with my life.

I had IC today and H went Monday. C said that H is very angry with me and is miserable with his life and blames me for that. That he believes he gave a good effort and nothing changed so he's done.

As far as home. I'm still adapting my STFU. H is still coming home late. I'm not asking or prodding and the boys and I have stayed busy. We started a list of projects the house that is fun for them and gets our yard cleaned up while its nice out. Our first one that as started yesterday was busing a firepit.

The C said H sees a divorce as his only way to be happy.

He wants me to go home and ask him to come with me next week and that I'm hopeful for our M and I love him. I'm still thinking on that one.


Anyway. I said I was going to take a break so I am trying to break my habit of coming here and posting so much but I didn't want you think I forgot about any of you.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2529982 01/22/15 09:52 PM
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I've missed you!!!!!!!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Train #2530008 01/22/15 10:25 PM
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I missed you too Train!!! I didn't want to seem like I was leaving on a bad note or because of anyone or thing in particular


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2530082 01/23/15 01:41 AM
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Oh and Cat ... I read chapter 12 of HWHW the other night.

I also took the advice of the C. I called H on my way home to ask him how his day was and to tell him his idea to bring in Oreos for S3's show and tell was a hit. So I said like the C kept insisting I do ... C and I had a really good meeting and I feel really hopeful for the future. He had us down for next Thursday together I hope you can be there. He said okay.

So I came home, gave him a kiss when he met me at the door (180 and a complaint from him). Kissed the boys got them to bed. He's out on the couch as usual lately but I'm going to leave it be as I have.

C said he believes next meeting will be a make it or break it and he feels a lot of pressure on him to help us.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2530108 01/23/15 05:06 AM
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T, I could offer a bunch of rambling (I'm notorious for it, ya know), but I just wrote a novel in cat's Hen House thread and my brain is fried. I might have more later. Meanwhile, please: stay consistent for at least a month in any new approach you try.

I like today's approach, as long as H isn't in an A. And we've decided we are confident he isn't, right?

If H doesn't immediately reciprocate? It's likely because he's timid and he doesn't believe this change is real. (And on the flip-side, you shouldn't make a change in yourself that you can't make sustainable - i.e. permanent.)

You know I like this light and breezy - yet "unattached" - approach while H has one foot out the door ...

Stick with it a while, no matter what H hurls your way. He might try to test you. Stay resolved. This is for YOU and your peace and happiness. xoxo


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Train #2530224 01/23/15 04:33 PM
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I can stick with it

However I'm not sure about an affair. I don't THINK but I don't know. Nothing on Facebook. He intermittently sleeps with his phone in his pocket. That is the ONLY thing that's throwing me red flags (well that and his behavior change)

I'm not sure how to deal with it. I think I will say nothing but it's eating away at me. I know he will make an excuse or blow up at me if I say something. It is difficult to go about being as if when he's sleeping wth his phone in his pocket.

Thanks Train


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2530226 01/23/15 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted By: T0324
I said I was going to take a break so I am trying to break my habit of coming here and posting so much


Smoking is a habit to break.

Journaling/posting here is not, stick around.


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
T384 #2530237 01/23/15 05:08 PM
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If you do take a break from the board, please come back to tell us how things are going. So many people leave without any closure to their stitch, and we never know what happened.

I see a lot of my younger self in you, TO. What I mean, is we react to our H's the same way. We both wanted them to be what they weren't.

Learning a new way is really tough, but you can do it. I like you a lot (and not b/c you remind of myself....lol). I pray that things will go well.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2530259 01/23/15 05:53 PM
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Thanks guys smile

So Sandi what would you do in the situation of the phone? Continue to leave it be? Am I wasting my time with my H if he's never going to change?


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2530262 01/23/15 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted By: T0324
Am I wasting my time with my H if he's never going to change?

Can I ask how long is never?


Me-70, D37,S36
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