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Originally Posted By: DaddyLongShanks
Originally Posted By: SRD
I'm currently in the kitchen making tea with music on just to make myself feel better for 5 mins. Wife just told me someone has pranged her car. I listened was friendly. Felt like saying why should I give a [censored]


And you shouldn't let other man take care of that. It's all about you right now.


And you "should" let other man take care of that.

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Hi Sandi

As always your advice is honest and spot on. Tonight has been difficult. I'm Made tea for wife me and daughter who came home shortly after. Wife was really chatty and friendly. Talks by about the show they had just been to see. I was friendly and up beat back. Talked to my daughter about and when done put my daughter to bed. We then watched tv together and she continued chatting and being friendly even laughing together at one point. It's so hard to detach myself from that without being rude. I don't engage any more than I need to but she is having her cake and eat while I'm still here. As far as anything else I'm doing nothing. I haven't mentioned relationship since BD. No pursuing, not mentioned of OM, nothing at all.
I'm taking D ice skating tomorrow so that wil be fun. Wife can't skate and hates it

I'm looking at property a little further away. I think the only time it wil sink in for my wife is when I'm gone. Like you say she needs to sort out her mess and i need to move on with my own life


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

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As far as seperation I'm not naive now to believe this has anything to do with giving her space. I know now that for waw in A it just means out of sight out of mind.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Wife has just gone to work. Popped her head in front room before she left. Asked me if I'm ok. I just said yes. Do I believe she has really gone to work...no. Can I do anything about it....no. Did I say a single word about it to her, will I say a single word about it to her......no . so hard to push it out of your mind. Hard to accept that the person you see for all intents and purposes is your wife but she isn't. That person left a long time ago.
Gal activities. Me and D8 are going skating this afternoon. Will be great.
Got to make a rainforest model with d8 this morning. That should be fun.

Breathe, one step at a time


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Also decided I'm not moving back to our old house. I'll stop the eviction or get new tenants. Sandi is right. It's too near holds too many memories and is too expensive. Will ring agent on Monday. Will I be telling the wife... No.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Ontheup Offline OP
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wife just come home in sh1t mood takin it out on me. Whe she is like this just confirms I want out.

off skating now whoohoo


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
I am looking to stay in the same areas as I am now. I love where I live. Why should I give that up? and yes so im close to my daughter? It just so happened this house I looked at was about a mile away but im viewing another next week a bit further.


Well first of all, a mile away is not just around the corner, as you had said. And I am not saying not to be close to your D, but honestly, what can you do for her in a mile away that you couldn't do five miles away? The point I am trying to make is to be true with yourself. You told us in the beginning that your W said you had made her feel like a single parent. Just saying.........

There have been other LBH'S who would move into a house too close to the W's and then they would see too much. Kept them upset all the time. You don't need to be driving by her house every time you head to your place. If you are going to live apart, then at least make it far enough you don't have to drive by her place all the time. Do you see what I am trying to say? You don't have to move out of town, but neither should you live too close. If you are going to separate, then don't try to move into the back yard. smile



Hey Sandi

My wife said i made her feel like a sinbgle parent when she was already having an affair. Just another trick to deflect all the blame onto me. Im such a bad husband etc.

Ive been thinking about this today and yes ive made my mistakes but i a bloody good husaband and father. I took up most of the slack at home while she was setting her businsess up. I have done all the IT for their company for free obviously. I have been there the whole time for her to give help advice etc with her business. Bounce ideas off me. I dont drink (hardly ever) i dont smoke, i keep fit. Yes i let her down with regard to setting boundries wih my mum. I didnt know any better until it was too late. Some church stuff i didnt get involved in. Im not religious so thought it wasnt for me to do. Emotionally we became disconnected. I now see the wrong in that. She obviuosly thinks the grass greener. Well good luck because we all know the grass is rairly ever greener.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Had a great time today with D8 ice skating. We're getting better.....a little smile

decided we're both going to keep this up. I used to skate when i was a kid and have realised how much i enjoyed it.
Having to concentrate so hard keeps your mind from wandering elsewhere. Great GAL

Wife is out with one of her best friends. Going through a bad divorce. (arent they all) Wish i was a fly on the wall smile my ears are burning smile


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Ontheup Offline OP
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Wife has come home in a super good mood. Asking about skating talking about her meal with her friend (yes she was with her) laughing etc. how the hell can I detach when she is so friendly. I can't just be rude and say nothing. My D is sat there. It's times like these I sit here and think what the hell are you doing. Look how great we get on.


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

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I am going to borrow something Starsky has told LBH'S. When you have a WAW in an A, and when she comes home in a terriffic mood......that is usually a sign she has had a fix from her AP. If she is not in a great mood, that usually means things are not going well between the lovers or she has not had a fix in a while.

Why do you keep saying you can't detach when she is so friendly, or is sitting next to you having a nice evening, etc.? What does detaching mean to you?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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