5mo pregnant H wants divorce or to see other women

[kml]

ROFLMAO!!!!

[Karma12]

You know my H. also has this same condition. I'm sure it all started back when he told me he was being an a$$hole to me and didn't know why.


You need too push back and push back hard. Find out all your legal rights and let his lawyer explain to him why he's having to pay.

[25yearsmlc]

Can't believe I missed THIS post...

Last night he came home at 3 and admitted he d been having another affair. With a horl who turns oit to have Norderline.I stayed calm and showed no emotions while he cried.

Gee, how'd YOU stay so cold in the midst of HIS pain?

(Yes, I'm being snarky b/c I have to use humor as a coping mechanism.
but that's only b/c it ^^ helps me Not slap someone like your h, in the head, with a golf club.)




Sorry if it's "too soon" but when I read all ^^ this, it was literally the "nicest" thing I could think of to say!


This morning he hugged me seversl times and said he didnt know why he was throwing the best thing in his life away like this.

BUT HE IS, anyway...so there's no telling why, b/c all that matters now, is YOU and and your children.

Asked if i would be oorn to going to a sexuologist (as he feels im not adventurous enough). I said sure.

Wow, wow....UNLESS YOU have a serious problem with sex, which seems counter intuitive- given that you are in your 3rd pregnancy. Clearly, something is happening...

But I'm gonna make a crazy, wild stab in the dark - "guess" - that you have some TRUST issues that might make you a tad more cautious in the bedroom.

How about your husband being willing to see a minister/priest/pscyh for moral guidance

AND OR

any & all of your strongest male relatives, out behind a woodshed - for a 'talking' to" ? How about THAT?


But in the afternoon he said he was going dsncing w her tomorrow and maybe staying the night to say goodbye but 'nothing woukd happen'

Oh excuse me, I'm now officially screwing my head in the ceiling...


I dont think he s actually going to be there for the baby more than occasionally. He might as well pay his own bloody bills.

Needless to say...


So if that's the case, (you know, if HE is going to support HIMSELF, like a man and FATHER SHOULD,)

can you get HIS credit card and do some real shopping?

I myself have not been to Rio, or Madrid, & a host of other countries and I really would like a trip, so if your h is buying, do let me know.

From what I hear, this^^ is a treatment for HIS condition.

It may not help HIM, but I'm told those who feel "infected" by his ailments, feel a lot better after.

I know I would...

[25yearsmlc]

PS

Seriously, you must protect yourself. Legally speaking, do what it takes b/c there's no telling what your h could justify.

Given what he's done AND told you of, AND that HE ASKED YOU to see someone for "your" problems with sex...

I just don't see any boundaries on his behavior.

So you must set them very very clearly.

I'm not usually this annoyed by a h.

But DO keep posting, please.

Down the road you will be fine - but it takes time.

And between now and that time, count on the many people in your life (and this board) to help you.

You'll make it. Time is your friend.

((( )))

[Mom22]

Thanks everyone for your concerns. I do wonder if he is inflicted with Dickness sometimes. :-)
The house is 100% his, bought before me. He will never leave it as I have zero legal rights, except that he cant just kick me out (he has to give me 'a reasonable timeframe') and i dont think he will do that. He's enjoying all the benefits of me being there (bills are shared, i do housework, take care of kid etc).
Leaving (with my daughter) has no legal impact in this country. Law is very different here.
Law requires us to agree on a parenting plan before any divorce filings will be processed. He wants 50% time but Im working on more 40%. If it goes to court he will likeky get 3-4d anyway (have already sought legalcouncil on this). Law here leans towards equal parenting. As I said, very different from the US :-(
Though I d hate to miss my daughter 3d a week I do think she (not he!) deserves regular time with her dad. She adores him. Plus he will then feel the effort which is needed and I have a few days a week 'off'. To go to gym, see friends etc.
Buying a house here takes months. Banks are very slow and careful. Finding a place may take a while too as Im on a budget but do want a safe neighborhood and 3 small bedrooms. I have my DB coaching sesdion tonight. Fingers crossed!!

[BklynMom]

Hang in there. Your h is a fool and missing out a wonderful time on his kids lives.

Remind yourself to be a woman your d would be proud of.

[Mom22]

Thank you.
Ps fathers have A LOT OF RIGHTS here which is generally good but in my case not... If i d use his creditcard as a 'treatment' for my own 'ailments' he can really make my life hell regarding custody. In my and my d's best interest i need to keep him somewhat calm.

[25yearsmlc]

Understood.

I'm very glad you sought legal counsel. You're reacting like an adult and not letting emotions dictate your actions.

Bravo! Keep taking care of yourself and good luck with the coaching session. I found them very very helpful. I'd not be married today if not for my DB coach

and I mean that quite literally.

((( )))

[Karma12]

Wow things are quite different over there then. Here in Canada it wouldn't matter if he had bought the house. It would be 50/50 unless otherwise agreed. Make sure you ask more than one lawyer. When you have children judges don't like to see you pushed out of your home.

[Mom22]

This is a very clear and well known part of our law. Its ok too, i dont want to stay here anyway, its in a town where i dont know people, away from my family and friends. Plus the mortgage is much higher then the value (since housing market/financial crisis 2008/9) so its benificial i dont have to stay :-)