This stuff is NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm glad to hear your daughter is bringing friends over. This likely means that she will be holed up in her room... so what are YOUR plans?
I get you about the business relationship. That's precisely what i have with my WAH. It kind of blows...
But it also allows me much more time to make my insides sparkly and to let my interior windows open up, clear out some of the cob webs and freshen up a bit. It feels good to not be picking up his dirty socks off the floor of my heart.
I'm glad to hear your daughter is bringing friends over. This likely means that she will be holed up in her room... so what are YOUR plans?
I get you about the business relationship. That's precisely what i have with my WAH. It kind of blows...
But it also allows me much more time to make my insides sparkly and to let my interior windows open up, clear out some of the cob webs and freshen up a bit. It feels good to not be picking up his dirty socks off the floor of my heart.
Hi SS! I don't have any big plans tonight, D16's bf is here so I hung out with them some. And I've had to do a bit of cleaning up behind the littles. They are pretty good, but there's always something. They are, in fact, holed up in her room right now, so I may take the opportunity to read some.
Inviting these two girls over was the first time I've had to admit to people who don't know me that H and I don't live together. I told the moms that I'd pick up the girls, they'd spend the night here, and then D12's dad would pick them up in the morning to go mini-golfing. It was weird. One of the moms is D and re-married, I don't know for how long, and her XH lives in another country. She probably didn't think anything about it. I'm sure the other mom is questioning "when did that happen" because H and I have been to her house as part of D12's volleyball team. She's probably thinking, how long have they been D and I didn't know it? All in all, it was a milestone for me. And nothing bad happened.
Hey there, RPP. I get how difficult it is to find your PMA groove when you spend a lot of time with your H. That was me last summer. I did not handle it nearly as well as you are.
I'm also feeling the urge to date. Not to get into a relationship, but because I enjoy meeting new people, and I'd really like to broaden my circle.
I think you have to go through this low period and use it to give yourself some stillness, adjust to all the changes that have been thrown at you, and then you'll explode into a great new life and be ready for it. Cuz that's the kind of woman you look like to me.
Hope you're feeling a bit better.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I agree with you about the medical issue causing you to be down. H being around for a week and then leaving again MIGHT have contributed some? Just asking ;-)
Telling people was very tricky for me until I dropped the rope. It still is not easy but I can talk about it more. Since papers were signed last week I have actually started using the term X. Before that I referred to her as my W.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
I think you have to go through this low period and use it to give yourself some stillness, adjust to all the changes that have been thrown at you, and then you'll explode into a great new life and be ready for it. Cuz that's the kind of woman you look like to me.
Honey, I'm totally ready for a great new life. When I think where I'll be a year from now, lots of things will be different from a year ago. R with H will be different, no matter what happens. D16 will be finishing her senior year and getting ready to move out. I'll have a new job. Or I'll have won the lottery and won't. I'd like to think I'll have a new R with a guy who thinks I'm worth something. And I know I have to slog through this valley to get to all that good stuff on the mountain.
I talked to my MIL on the phone yesterday, and as much as I love her, sometimes it's hard to talk to her. I get the feeling she thinks I'm on the verge of slitting my wrists or bolting off to my home state. She can't comprehend that I'm actually doing OK. And she asks questions like, "well, do you think H will take care of D12's college expenses?". Ummmmm.....we don't talk about that. One, she's in 6th grade. And two, yes, I think he will. And three, we don't talk about dividing assets or anything that far in the future. And four, I have a really good lawyer waiting for me to drop a retainer with her if necessary. I think it's all going to be fine, MIL.
Originally Posted By: bdub
H being around for a week and then leaving again MIGHT have contributed some? Just asking ;-)
Telling people was very tricky for me until I dropped the rope. It still is not easy but I can talk about it more. Since papers were signed last week I have actually started using the term X. Before that I referred to her as my W.
bdub, I don't know how I feel about H being around so much last week. He played the role of bff, taking care of the house and the kids, at least mostly. It was helpful to have him here. But I don't have any strong emotions about him leaving, either. He's been over a few other times this week, including this morning to pick up D12 and her friends to take them mini golfing. They weren't ready when he got here, so he helped me fix the disposal, and we chatted until they got ready. And I'm not particularly sad to see him go, it seems right most of the time.
I can't use the word "X" because it's not true and because I can't really bring myself to do it. But if the opportunity allows, I'll refer to him as the kids' dad, as in "D12's dad will pick them up". I think people probably assume we're D. And in a way, I almost prefer that. I think it's weird that M people choose not to live together. Obviously, lots of us are in that boat here on the boards, but it's not my social norm, as I've said before. So if the think I'm D, then I guess that's OK.
Today ended up being awfully close to a NC day. Yes, H was sitting in my house this morning but after he left we didn't text or talk again. I figured he'd come up with something but he didn't. Major change here. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Today has been a good day. D12 and I took a picnic lunch to the park and walked around on the paths for a long time. I'm making steaks for dinner, D16's bf will join us.
It's been more than 24 hours of NC with H. And I think we'd have made it all day if I hadn't broken down to ask a calendar question for tomorrow. I ask him once a week which days he can take D12 to school. And I needed to know. So.....
I go back to work tomorrow. I have a couple weeks to get everything organized before my job officially ends. It will be awkward.
And here's something else that's weird. H has gone from being ice, to being nice, to issuing booty calls, back to ice. I have no idea why. Yesterday after he left, I texted a thank you for fixing the disposal. Three weeks ago, he would have said, "You're welcome" with a happy face. Yesterday, nothing. And no contact at all today until I had to ask him the calendar question. To which he sent a list of days. The end. I have no idea what's going on. I mean, he's not spewing or being rude, thank goodness, but the difference is noticeable.
I don't know why we can't just settle into a friendship of sorts, he's nice to me and I'm nice to him. What's wrong with that?
And here's something else that's weird. H has gone from being ice, to being nice, to issuing booty calls, back to ice. I have no idea why. Yesterday after he left, I texted a thank you for fixing the disposal. Three weeks ago, he would have said, "You're welcome" with a happy face. Yesterday, nothing. And no contact at all today until I had to ask him the calendar question. To which he sent a list of days. The end. I have no idea what's going on. I mean, he's not spewing or being rude, thank goodness, but the difference is noticeable.
I don't know why we can't just settle into a friendship of sorts, he's nice to me and I'm nice to him. What's wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing. In fact it would be a good thing. Sadly cheeseless tunnels are there for running up and down. They were specifically designed for the action of aimlessness for waywards. It's the speed of running up and down that changes perhaps?
Are your H oscillating getting shorter or longer?
I am thinking of you RPP and sending you my moral support for tomorrow across the miles.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 01/26/1512:57 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
