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#2526436 01/13/15 12:12 PM
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Last edited by rppfl; 01/13/15 12:13 PM.


"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
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Just want to say, love your trusting the path attitude it will get you places you never thought.

I'm trying to do the same right now.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Good morning RPP.... GO BUCKEYES!


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Vanilla, thanks for the hospital tips. I'll still pass on the bed socks, though. wink

Labug, I'm finding it hard to trust the path today. Not so much with H, although that's part of it. I was cleaning out some emails from my personal account and read a couple of emails H and I had exchanged over the summer. I had made it so crystal clear that I didn't want him to move out while he was "thinking about things", and he did it anyway. I was afraid that his leaving would be the thing that put me over the edge of not caring anymore. And he did it anyway. I didn't want to tell the kids. And he did it anyway.

I'm also struggling at work right now, an odd combination of being overwhelmed and releasing responsibilities.

bdub....Go Buckeyes! I didn't watch, but I'm happy for you. For what it's worth, I almost went to Ohio State for my undergrad. But I didn't. I'm a Vol.



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Quote:
I'm finding it hard to trust the path today.


Me too, but I'm going to take some deep breaths and just allow those feelings, knowing they will pass.

My best to you.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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rpp,

Good luck with the surgery! Sending good thoughts your way.

I never found re-reading those e-mails EVER helpful. I'm not recommending you delete them yet, as they might be important down the road. But I'd make a folder and stow them there and agree that they are PMA downers and avoid them at all costs. There's no sense in seeing that movie again - because it totally svcked and wasn't worth the ticket price.

Quote:
For what it's worth, I almost went to Ohio State for my undergrad. But I didn't. I'm a Vol.


I know I'll be thrown out of the pool for this, but I've never been an SEC fan. Except for the Vols. My cousin went there (and we are as close as siblings) and you can probably guess correctly that I have an affinity for... orange. And one of their more successful alumni. So glad we can root for your alma mater. grin

One hour at a time, baby doll. Then it's not so overwhelming.

Keep up the great work.

Betsey

p.s. But I have a real affection for the Big 10. My mom is a golden gopher, and my daughter might have been a boilermaker had she not chosen to go to a D3 school in the frozen tundra. I have a family of hoosiers as well. And because of where I live, I also enjoy the Pac 12. Thank goodness I don't have to devote any more time to the NFL this season. I have lots of stuff to do IRL. Go Vols!


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

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Originally Posted By: rppfl
I had made it so crystal clear that I didn't want him to move out while he was "thinking about things", and he did it anyway. I was afraid that his leaving would be the thing that put me over the edge of not caring anymore. And he did it anyway. I didn't want to tell the kids. And he did it anyway.


You know rpp- I've gone through the same thing. And it really made it easier to drop the rope once I realized that STBX was going to do whatever the heck he wanted no matter what discussion occurred.

Good Luck on the surgery- praying for you!


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Well, I've just made peace with the fact that tears are bubbling just under the surface today. I'm not even entirely sure why, although it was definitely triggered by the old emails. And I made it through lunch with a friend who asked about H and I didn't cry, so it's not a total loss.

Labug, hope you are finding your path today.

Betsey, I'm not sure we can continue to be friends if you can't see that nothing beats SEC football. wink I have been making it through the past few hours one hour at a time. Thanks.

Raliced, I have been thinking about what happens at the end of our S mid-March. And I don't see how it could ever work. There's just so much that has gone by, so many things that have happened and we never talked about any of it really. A few emails, a couple of pretend MC sessions, one big conversation but just the one. My M is gone and I'm still not sure what really happened here. You are right that he was going to do what he was going to do come he!! or high water. I didn't matter, the kids didn't matter. And today that makes me weepy. Maybe tomorrow I'll drop the rope.



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Hi Rppfl. Sorry your so down. It's very hard to face the future without the person you thought would be there with you forever. It's also hard to think of them with someone else I find some peace with the thought that I will be happy again. I just made pizza and chips for the kids and we are sitting here watching American pickers. My W ( at best ) is with OM and that's it. I have my D13 cuddling against me , my D10 sitting on other sofa and S16 blocking the fire ( as usual). It's nice and warm , bellies full and we all have each other S20 had dinner with us and is upstairs studying for college I miss my W and would dearly love to have her her with us but life is still good without her.

I hope my mental picture drawing took you away from your pain for a few mins. All joking aside , if I lived on the same continent as you , me and kids would be outside looking for an invite for a coffee !!!!!!! I read all your posts and you H is a fool. Life will be good for you , it' has to be. Keep strong and remember it's his loss. You are in pain now but that will pass, his pain will be forever. Karma is out there and just looking for WAS''s !!!!!!!!

As my old granny used to say. F@@k em !!!!!!! LOL

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RPP,
The only team from the SEC I can even tolerate is TN. The rest of the SEC can go kiss ESPNs butt.
The Big 10 rules, everyone else drools!!

My turn to get thrown out of the pool.
When I am feeling really down, I will sometimes re read old emails and sit with the tears and let em roll. Its a rough 10 minutes or so but I quickly pick myself up by the bootstraps and move on. Usually feeling much stronger.
Its OK to be sad and its ok to cry.
I have heard many people on here say its not healthy to keep it all in.


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
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