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I agree w/RockJC's posting.

You are not alone in the real world or here, but what you are going thru and feeling right now is perfectly normal. We feel rejected, unloved and let's face it, like a toy that has been tossed aside and forgotten. All of these feelings are very normal when a spouse goes off the wagon and hits the trail for something "new". It's truly not about you at all but about the mlcer. He would have done this no matter what and he could have been married to someone else, a priest, minister, hobo, etc., he would still have done this. It truly isn't about you at all, but about him.

Right now, you are trying to fill a void of validation and wanting to be loved, etc., but doing so by self medicating with sex is not the way to do it. First off, in this day and age of STD's, you have to be careful who you do the "deed" with, second, you don't want to end up in a string of casual relationships that basically fill the void for a period of time and then rejection and emptiness come around again and again, the cycle begins once again.

You are far more precious and worthy of someone's true love and that has to start w/friendship and work up from there. You both need to learn about each other, share things w/each other and if the man is truly worthy of your love, he will understand that things have to go slowly and will respect you for your decisions. The right man will come along when you least expect it.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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GB!

Hey stranger. Sorry I've been MIA. Overload, ya know? Anyway... i've been catching up. First, I wanna say, raliced, maybell, underdog... they cracked me up. Loved their posts to you.

I think you are doing so amazingly well, gb. Truly. You have been walking the walk, and it's great. It's not surprising that you are having feelings that come and go and take you on a bit of a ride. You are far from a crazy train. Being put on this crazy train can take a toll. No matter how much you detach and do you, there is still a time of processing the gravity of what has happened in our lives. So, allow yourself to have those times. Heck, you have lots of good ones to balance it all out. Soon.... it will be waaaaaaay more good.... and the heck with the rest.

Keep working it, girl.

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GB

Still not finished wading your and Maybell threads, I will one day!


Wanted to give you a hug (((((GB))))))

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Oh wow. Thanks to all for dropping by my thread. I took a brief reprieve.

Raliced-I needed that. You get me. She is funny Kml.

Betsy-welcome to my party!!! Thanks for dropping by. I have a girl crush on Raliced too. Some days I feel like I'm on the crazy locomotive train and I really know only I can get off. I just feel out of sorts and I need to get it together.

Tad-thanks! I spent V Day with my bestie and 5 yr old. We had fun:-)

Rock, Job, Maybell, Mighty and Vanilla (sorry if I missed anyone) thanks for your support and advice. Mighty- you are doing so well!! Maybell- you too!!! Hang in there. I know you are both in a difficult place. Please know this is my irreverent sense of humor, but I'm not planning on offering up my booty freely. Yes, I guess I engaged in a no strings with HG, and I don't plan on self medicating with casual sex. It's not who I am. And I don't want to be that way either. However, no judgement from me for those that can.

And as you all know, I try to be honest. Brutally and painfully so. I sent HG a text saying that I was sorry but I actually kind of liked him. That should end said no strings R. Haven't heard back from him. He is such a guy which I like and things felt very intimate the other night and it was strange. Oh well. I keep saying I'm envious of peeps in Rs and I'm not sure how to proceed with even dating someone.

Ex Mr GB posted a photo of himself in the bathtub on V Day. He never took a bath in 12 years. Of course, some of my friends had loads to say about that but he does what he does.

I'm so tired. Not sure why. I feel so down and defeated. I know only I can work through this and I just want to feel normal. Or regular. Or whatever that is. Send confetti and a disco ball. Love , GB



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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GB,

I need to catch up on your Thread, but quck glance seems like you are doing good.

XGB and pic in tub? Wow,,,really ok?

Keep moving forward


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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Who knows gb hg might be just digesting.

Who knows where things end up in this craze world.
That's about a much wise as I have today. No expectations. whistle see that whistle as more of a kiss huh? grin wink


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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2B and GG thanks for swinging by.

I AM going to get through this.....sanity intact. There was a song by the Quad City DJs (total cheerleading song) "Come on Ride the Train".....No, I must get off the crazy train. I want to ride a fun, happy train with music by Yaz, Depeche Mode, Pitbull, Kesha, and anything else I can dance too.

I've got space for all of you. And I am wearing a cute conductor's hat and some kicky boots. smile



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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I was onboard till PitBull ... then I pulled that chain for the next stop ... LOL

GB you are doing ok, I think its all normal when you have your world turned inside out, you have new found freedom and have a chance to explore some things, try some new shoes on and see what fits, what makes your feet hurt and what makes you feel all warm n fuzzy.

I kinda laughed about the bath tub shot .... for whatever reason my twisted brain always gives me a snap shot visual and I have a horrible image of George Costanza with a rose in his mouth, rose petals and bubbles all over with candles lit ... *shiver* ... thanks to that I can be celibate a bit longer...lol


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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GB,

Dang! Mr. XGB forgot his Spiderman t-shirt for the tub pic...that would have rounded it off nicely. smile Ah...pity he's no shutterbug.

Last edited by Wonka; 02/17/15 05:33 PM.
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Yesterday was National Drink Wine day or something of the sort, correct??? Well, I am officially in Drink Whine mode. I hate this-I do. I don't know what is wrong with me. I just want someone to want me and to be all about me. I am so envious of you who "feel good" and have put yourselves out there and are dating. I am happy for all of you. Really, I am. And I think this has taken a much bigger toll on my ego than I have acknowledged.

A friend of mine is going thru a D. She was married 10 years and no kids (fertility issues). She said she doesn't want to die old, alone, and bitter with cats gnawing at her face. That isn't my fear. That insatiable desire for someone to want me is raging and I want it to go the pho away. I cannot describe this feeling but I feel like I am driving the crazy train full force.

I'm sorry. I will work through this in time (I freaking hope). And I know I need to dig to my colon for patience...I just hate this feeling of no clarity? Anxiety? Loneliness? (even though I am rarely alone). I know I have vented a great deal lately and this doesn't help me address the real issue of I think I have always felt is I was in a R, then somehow I was "ok" or "acceptable." I never look at others not in a R and think there must be something wrong with them, but I do for myself.

I am typing this with tears streaming down my face because I just want to get through this. I thought I would be so much stronger by now and I feel ridiculously weak. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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