My dear. I totally get it. I feel you entirely. Even when my days are OK, I wake every morning feeling overburdened by those same thoughts and feelings. I go to be with them too.
I want so badly for things to get better, to be happy and at peace again. To feel fulfilled.
We are in this together. I've got your back. I know you will get through this because you are so amazing. You really are and I admire your strength, beauty, and amazing personality as you have been weeding your way though this.... whatever "this" is.
You got this, GB. And we have to trust in the others when they say it will get better. It has gradually since last year, right? But, look at how amazing, strong, patient, wise, and so put-together these who have gone before us are. We will get there. You have already made it through some of the toughest parts.
Georgia, It takes time to work through grief. You are still having periods of grief and believe me, those feelings come out to play when you least expect them.
Georgia, you are feeling very insecure right now and it's understandable. First off, you are a very intelligent woman w/a heart of gold. Your h and his behavior have rocked your confidence to the very core. We all have had this happen to us...but guess what! When you look in the mirror, you will see a survivor, not a victim staring back at you. You will not see someone who is scared. You just have to work thru those feelings a while longer.
Georgia, whether it is your husband or someone new, you will find love again. But right now, you have to take care of yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. You do not want to get into another relationship until you are healed. You want to go into a new relationship being the best you can be and not just to have someone hanging onto your hand/wrist just because you don't want to be alone. You want someone to be there because they want to be, to love you for who you are and who will do anything to ensure that you are safe, happy and loved.
George, it all takes time. You are trying to rush the crazy train down the tracks and it doesn't work that way. Rome wasn't built in a day and your healing process will take some time. I truly wish that I had a magic wand that I could use to wipe it all away for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Gb, those of us that have it together um yeah, nope, you haven't been following my thread.
I have about 5-7 irons in the fire to speak. No dates and very time something happens I get twitchy and antsy and come here and do a whole essay on why didn't the dang bloke just answer my floggen questions.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
For me, I have been separated about 18 months, divorced officially just over 1 year, dating for approx. 3 months and I have those exact same feelings. I don't know how long it takes for them to go away, but at this point in my journey, my feelings are very similar to yours.
Cut yourself some slack. You are completely normal.
Dating [censored]. Building new relationships is awkward. Putting yourself out there for the arbitrary judgement of another person is really hard on self Esteem. And we all thought we had put this phase of our life behind us. But, here we are.
I wish I could buy you that glass of wine.
When I read your posts, what I don't see is a support system. Do you have a church? Do you have close family or girlfriends? I would focus on building those relationships and avoid men.
Mighty (love you xo), Wonka (love you too), Job (and you:), GG(you too), and Rock (I love everyone who swings by here:), thanks so much for your words. Yes, Wonka, I have been feeling less than. Like.....I don't belong or I lost my place. Wherever that was. Job, I know you are right. I do. I very much appreciate your kind words and taking the time to read my thread. Your wisdom is invaluable.
Rock, you are correct. I don't have a big support system. I am very close to my x inlaws. I have a couple of close girlfriends and most of my friends are guys. And sometimes that gets a little....weird. I have reconnected with a few old friends and that has been nice.
Ready for a update? I feel better. I'm going to Las Vegas for work for 6 days. And while I miss my peeps, I have a 2 hour massage and a 45 minute hot oil scalp massage scheduled at the ultimate schmancy spa. That's right. Haters gonna hate:)
I have been helping one of my 2 girlfriends thru fertility treatment. She is solo so I go with her for egg retrieval Friday. This is exciting for her:)
Booked a Disney trip for Spring Break.
Ex Mr. GB is moving Saturday to.....a college apartment complex. Well, I know where it is and he said there are very few 20 and 21 year olds. I didn't say this to him, but they are mostly 22-26 yr olds because they have a higher grad student residency in that complex. I didn't really know what to say, so I said "That sounds nice." Because I couldn't really say, 'For the love of extra crunchy peanut butter, have you lost your mind? You are freaking 41. I had friends in that complex 20 years ago."
He did take the trash out this am which was nice and I thanked him. He has taken to wearing trucker hats. Prior to last week, I had seen x Mr. GB in a hat exactly 0 times in 13 years.
Thank you all for reading my stuff. I do appreciate your kindness, wisdom, and eye rolls. Seriously. I deserve the eye rolls. Hugs and positive vibes to everyone here:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
It looks like XGB is going through his own Benjamin Button process. Just wait until he hits the pacifier stage! Wait...he will need to go through the bell bottom stage first.
Wait...he will need to go through the bell bottom stage first.