Crazy is coming back. Push it back. Push it back. Way back.
And seeing HG like I just did in the lobby? Kicks up my weird...I'm hoping I at least put a foot on the quasi normal train in 2015. Please.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/02/1505:30 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I don't feel like posting anything important. So...
Wonka, xh had on his Spider Man t today. He also looked like he had been on a 5 day bender. Puffy eyes.
Mighty(I know you have bigger issues and I'm cheering you on my friend)and Shining (look at you ) oh yes I did get 2 pairs of boots for Xmas. Ready? These are 5 inch stiletto platform boots (small platform and very comfortable) and I did look rather scintillating in the Target check out line in the black pair yesterday. Uh huh.
And yes, I am the proud owner of some 5 Seconds of Summer concert tix for July. Haters gonna hate.
D9 turns 10 tomorrow. 10 for the win! Oh, and I had candy for breakfast. Why? Because I felt like it.
Hang in there, everyone. It gets better:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/05/1508:13 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Thanks for stopping by my thread - I had a spiced iced bun for lunch for the same reason. Healthy eating is great but sometimes you just have to bend the rules or start wearing ugly sandals!
It does indeed get better. I have serious boot envy btw
Okay....I've been reading a bit and it's time for an honest post.
I was talking with a friend today and I said, "I'm doing pretty well. In some ways, I've never felt better. Yes, I have sad times and days when I struggle. The reality is that right now, I just don't have anything in the tank." And I had a bit of an epiphany because that was the best way I can describe how I feel. I recognize this is not optimum or ideal, however it best sums up my feelings. And I hope I move through this soon:-)
In the past (with break ups of the end of Rs), I always felt I must be at fault and there must be something wrong with me. I must be unloveable. Why can't I get it right? And the reality is that I'm flawed and have things to work on. And I am. I certainly made mistakes in my M. I also realize that I was navigating the best I could with the tools I had. That freaking hindsight is something. However, I know I'm a good person. I haven't caused all of the ills and strifes of the world.
The thing that I grapple with is that feeling of being and just letting things transpire. Oh control!!! Ack!!!! In a moment where I feel my fear or anxiety build, it's like my heart starts beating 100 beats per minute. I feel clammy and so dare I say... Out of control:-) Sometimes a walk help or a dance. Sometimes it's deep breaths. Just being. Letting things evolve. Huge mental challenge for me. Has been for as long as I can remember.
I'm trying. New year.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/07/1503:37 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
GB .... I get it totally. I think that was a huge part of my spin cycles ... the fact I could not control my M, my W, my own thoughts and desires. I have never been one to just go with things, looking at the major areas of my life ... I have had to in most ways make opportunities happen and then take full advantage of them when they did.
Your epiphany does link to those desires you were experiencing and I am sure you realize that. Letting go of the wheel and just going for the ride is not a relaxing thing, but sometimes we just need to see where things go knowing in the back of our minds if it turns out to be painful we can opt out at any time, this thought process has helped me accept a few things that are going on in my life. Its growth ... you are a rockstar and I have no doubt you will own this part too.
Just a little update. I'm not sure how DB of this was of me and although I try desperately to keep my expectations of x Mr. GB to near zero, I have found myself a tad resentful lately that he decided being a parent is a bit too much of a responsibility and obligation for him. That's my problem to work through and I understand it.
Let me back up a minute. Xh and I live in the same small suburb. His gf lives in the college town I lived in (years ago, thankfully:-) about 45 minutes away. He is moving to college town (which is very odd for a 41 yr old divorced man and again, that's his deal.) He told kids he was moving there to be closer to work which is in the town we live in so he's actually moving 45 minutes from work.
Anyway, he was supposed to get them today and D9 chose not to go with the boys. I asked him to keep boys through tomorrow afternoon (he generally starts texting at 7am that they are ready to come home). I said "xh, please keep boys for a bit tomorrow as D9 needs some extra attention from me. It's fine if R is around. I've known about that since the beginning and I know you will use best judgement around the kids. It's all good. Thanks:)"
I've never mentioned her before and I realized that it's time to start thinking about GB and the kids. I've been thinking about kids and skipping over me. Nope. I want a life too. I have one and I'm grateful to have my kids full time. They are first. However, to be my best, I would prefer him to step up to the plate. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. My job isn't to make him feel " okay." I was fired from being the wife and that's okay. I can't make him do squat, although I'm going to give him the opp to actually be a dad. My expectations are near zero, and again, I have to think about me. Yes- ME:-)
Happy Saturday:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 01/10/1504:53 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
GB YEAH, hopefully mr. XGB will step up and spend the needed time with kids, and at the same time you will have some YOU time, very important for parents to have to refresh and recharge.
I think it was ok for you to ask for what you needed from him and to mention that if his GF is there, it is ok, remove that excuse from his mind.
Hope you and your D got to spend that quality time without the boys.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Its tricky striking a balance between taking care of yourself, taking care of your kids and encouraging a WAS to not be a walk-away parent.
My ex does everything he can to make being a Dad more difficult for him. He also moved 45 mins away to live with his GF.
I dont do many things that I would like to do, like remind him that family friday is the first Friday of the month at the kids school - he is on the school emails too. (He has never made it to a family friday in 2 years)
But I do, do somethings, like have the girls call him after/during important events. I had the girls call him from Disney cause my exH never calls them on my cell (its really weird that he acts like if they are not home he can't reach them).
I think its important for the kids to have a relationship with him and just like you had be the better person and acknowledge the OW - its an ongoing process to keep WAS involved with the kids when all they want to do is party like they are 22.
Stay strong. You are an awesome mom and your kids know it.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
) oh yes I did get 2 pairs of boots for Xmas. Ready? These are 5 inch stiletto platform boots (small platform and very comfortable) and I did look rather scintillating in the Target check out line in the black pair yesterday. Uh huh.