D in 11th hr and now we are piecing! DB such help!

[willbwell]

My story is the same as so many of us here.My h of 20 years has an A with a younger woman.
He moves out. d is filed. financial negotiations going back and forth. close to a settlement.
I came here for help. had several coaching sessions. Tried to listen to what the vets advised. I GAL. I was mostly upbeat and positive around him. I quit calling, texting. We were separated for 2 years.all the while this a is continuing.
Aug. h says he made a mistake. I said we had to go to MC. He agreed this time. I said he could not just move back in that we had to take it slow.
We've been seeing a good MC. We discussed some of the reason the a happened.
H moved back in early Nov. The d has been closed.
I am trying to be forward looking. We are still fragile. I still feel quite vulnerable. He knows he hurt me greatly. I am still dealing with trusting him. It is my insecurity.
I want to get rid of the questions that pop in my head that don't really matter( about ow) I do think h is committed to working and sees us with a future together.
I feel grateful for this website.
willbwell

[Cadet]

What happened to the OW?

[labug]

Good news willbewell!

Piecing isn't a cakewalk. It's work.

[TSquared2]

I want to get rid of the questions that pop in my head that don't really matter( about ow)

Imo, those questions do matter, and from what I have read on healing from infidelity, your H needs to answer those questions some day. They can't be swept under the rug forever.

Maybe try writing them all down and put the paper safely away until later, that helped me get the questions out of the forefront of my mind.

Happy for you!!

[willbwell]

piecing is no cake walk! I saw my IC today. still working on me( don't ever stop!) I am looking forward to the new year and all the potential and possibility that it brings.
the ow is still with h company but has moved to a different city. H still travels half the week. H tells me he ended it with ow. he showed me an email. she still will text him from time to time. I have asked him to ignore her texts. There is still some trust issues there for me.
This has been so incredibly hard. I know we still have a long way to go.
I will say, we are dating more...we've planned a couple of get-aways.

I journal everything. H knows that this is how I process. I am an open book. The questions about ow.. i know how the a started- flirty friendship crossed the line. H thought we were on "different paths" whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. It is painful for me to hear h say he said ILY to her. But I try and look at that as the old M. That is in the past and I want to look forward. I am not wearing my ring yet. Told h I want a new one.
I have plenty of questions about ow. However, i do not want to give her my head space. we can talk at some point later down the road when it isn't still fresh. H broke it off with her about july/aug... I know it can't be swept under the rug. Right now, I want our focus on us , dating and rebuilding...

[labug]

There's not a lot of action on this board so if you need day-to-day feedback it might be good to continue in Newcomer's. Just sayin'

H thought we were on "different paths" whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

Do you really not know what that means? If so, it would be helpful to find out. In my marriage I know my H and I have been on different paths a few times and that that means we're not taking care of the marriage which also means we're not taking care of our individual needs.

Have you ever felt you and H were on different paths?