2015

[tadpole1025]

Thanks AJ.

Revisiting feelings?

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Just curious...

Tad

[job]

Hi Tad,
Yes, it's a good thing to revisit feelings, just as long as you don't remain stuck. From what I've been reading of your thread lately, you are revisiting them, but at a faster pace and you know what? That's great. It means you are healing and coming alive again.

We all think about and yes, revisit feelings. I find myself doing it around the holidays.

[AJM]

Yes. Same as job said. On all accounts.


AJ

[Wonka]

We all think about and yes, revisit feelings. I find myself doing it around the holidays.

Ditto. A lot of reflection going on inside my noggin lately.

[uRworthy]

Tad, you know, you can get really creative on a little bit of money.

I think you could figure out how to decorate some. Dollar stores have stuff... you could make stuff. It makes you feel better, ya know?

Can you give your sons some coupons to spend time doing something they like with you?

Go to a used book store and get a book?

Even go to the dollar store and get gag gifts.

Use your imagination.

I think it is important for all of you to acknowledge the holiday in some small way. Time to move forward for real. Just because she took the tree doesnt mean you cant do something.

Come on now, Tad...get to gettin.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks all.

You're right uR. Guess I'm going to have to get creative.

I gave two Christmas cards this year. (First cards I've given in four years.) I sent one to my former MIL. I figured why not? I've known her for 30 years and it isn't her fault that her daughter went nuts. I sent her a little note inside updating her on me and the boys. XW will probably be furious, but I really don't care.

The other card went to my "friend" at work. She gave me a card last week with a really nice note inside. I gave her one back. Our wonderful conversations continue.

I guess Christmas it will just be me and S22 and S24. The other two will be with XW. We will be going to my aunt's house like we did on Thanksgiving. It won't be too bad. Although, I would prefer to have all my boys at Christmas, but I guess that is expecting too much when there was a divorce.

What I'm really dreading though is Christmas Eve. I've always been real funny about Christmas Eve as far as wanting to be "home" and having family together. (I actually think this is a hang up of mine from my childhood. My mom left my dad a day or two before Christmas when I was four years old.) I've aways been a little weird about it. This will be the first Christmas Eve ever that I will actually be alone. All alone on Christmas Eve for the first time in my life. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. S28 and S20 will be with XW, S24 has a party to go to with a friend, and S22 will be working. I'll be home alone unless I can find a bar that is open.....

Tad

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Volunteer at a soup kitchen guarantee you won't be alone on Christmas Eve.

[uRworthy]

hey Tad. I am alone on Christmas day. I have Christmas eve with my sister. My son goes to see his dad on Christmas day.

I have done different things the last few years. I have volunteered. I have slept late, stayed in my PJs and rented a movie and ate leftovers. One year I went to a friend's house.

It wouldnt be my first choice to be alone, but, its what I got. So, I make it my own.

There is a lot you could do....think about it. It doesnt have to be sad. You can choose joy. Just sayin....

[sunshinelewis]

I will be alone to Tad but I am gonna order out and cuddle up on the couch and watch a good flick. Just so u know I was a mess the first yr I was alone on Christmas Eve.....but now it's no big deal. You will be fine. Yell at me on the alt and we will chat

[tadpole1025]

Thanks everyone.

Renee - I would have yelled at you on the ALT, but I wasn't on much. Kind of stayed away from FB over the holiday. Was on there a little bit, but not much.

Stuff about me:

I decided to treat myself to a nice Mexican dinner at a local restaraunt on Christmas Eve and had a couple of Margaritas. It was nice, but I kind of felt like everyone there was sort of looking down on me because I was alone. On Christmas Eve, everyone is with friends and family. I felt very out of place.

Christmas was ok. S24, S22 and I went to my aunt's house and had dinner.

Stuff about XW:

She picked up S20 on Christmas Eve as I was on my way out to dinner. She looked at me as if to say: "aren't you going to say anything?" I'm pretty sure she wanted to say hello. Of course I'm just speculating, but the look she gave me....

I also believe that I've caught her in a lie. S24 wished his grandmother (former MIL) Merry Christmas on FB. She wrote back. "Merry Christmas to you too. Have fun at your mom's." Now, he lives with me and has spent every holiday with me. Why would she assume that he would be spending the holiday with XW unless she was told that he was? I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if XW has been lying about her relationship with our boys to her mom. Kind of to make things "not look as bad" as what they are. My boys even thought that it was weird and S20 said he thinks it is because she is lying. Again, I have no proof and will probably never know, but the possibility of her lying to her mother does not surprise me at all.

Tad