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job #2530951 01/26/15 03:12 AM
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I am really mad at ex-h and his inability to be a parent.

My ex sees his kids 4 days a month even though I have tried to leave the door open for him to see them more often.

This weekend was his weekend. On Friday i told him d6 has missed school and she was very sick with fever etc. he immediately suggests he skip the whole weekend. I say lets play it by ear and see how she feels.

Today she was much better, so he planned to spend the afternoon with the girls. In the end he spent 2 hrs!! With them 2 hrs. It's so sad I want to cry.

If he offered any ideas to spend more time with them I would allow it.

Maybe watch a movie with the girls here, or just take d4 for a little while or switch weekends or ... There are so many other scenarios. Instead he finds a way to spend as little time as possible with them.

It makes me want to cry for my girls. He is such a ba$tard. How dare he treat them like this.

Also of course the pick up for the 2hrs was awful. Cause they cant stand his coldness and he totally doesn't know how to deal with them.

I feel like my kids are being abused, by having a non existant dad.


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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2530979 01/26/15 04:26 AM
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I'm sorry, BK. It may sound cavalier as I know how much it hurts to watch your children struggle (trust me-I do:), however your xh is truly missing out. Wouldn't want to swap places with him for anything.

Hope your D feels better. You are doing great!!!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Its just too much sometimes being an ONLY parent

Doing the grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework, naviagating learning troubles, illness- cleaning up the vomit, snot & poop, whinning, discipline, emotions of 2 kids, teaching them some manners & some good behavior... ALONE! and then I am treated like I am the villain! F- him.

Today he has already emailed me about some BS financial stuff that I did 2 weeks ago because he is mad that I called him out on bringing the girls home yesterday after less then 2 hrs.

He also prob mad cause the girls didn't want to spend time with him. Again F-him.

He is gonna have to show up a lot more then 4 days a month if he wants actual relationships with his daughters.

He is so passive aggressive and its such BS. Heather I wish I had your way with words cause I am ready to send him my own email.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

- Oscar Wilde

Lets just say my ex is a coward.


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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2531842 01/28/15 02:08 PM
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Yay for school being open!!

We had a great day yesterday playing in the snow we even built an igloo and made amazing chocolate chip cookies with our neighbors.

... but by 5:30p they were done, like burnt toast and then the non stop whining began until they went to bed at 7:30.

.. then they woke up at 6;30 and the whining began again.

I can't take whining!! I can't take it!!

I told them I am instituting a new whining policy - if I hear whining no playdates.

They said what does institute mean.

How I love them and boy how they make me insane!!!


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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2531843 01/28/15 02:14 PM
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Brook,

You are such an awesome mom.

Ya know. I raised two amazing daughters (well...one needs a little work)...but, they are super young women. And, I did it alone for the most part. Smokey was there, but not.

I know you stress about your ex being a d-bag. Don't.

They have you. The kids and I have wonderful, wonderful memories of all the things we have done together...gingerbread houses, trips without Smokey, swimming in the pond, day-to-day living, etc...

They will be ok.

For my part, I'm learning as much as I can about abandonment and how it impacts children and future relationships. At the very least, my girls will be knowledgeable of the issues they need to tackle in order to make a good decision on a husband some day. I hope they benefit from my disappointments.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
LoisB #2532519 01/30/15 02:19 AM
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Isn't it wonderful to have two girls? I mean all kids are a blessing but I have thoroughly enjoyed being the mom of two daughters. After BD I worried about the effect it will have on them but as long as we can be open and supportive then hopefully they will be strong and independent.

Sounds like your two are absolutely adorable Brklyn. It is tiring being a single parent but you seem to be handling it with grace and humor. Don't sweat the small stuff and make time for lots of snuggles.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



123Gwen #2536288 02/10/15 12:42 PM
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I binge watched Girlfriends Guide To Divorce this weekend and really liked it.

Definitely not a pro-divorce show. It is a little unrelatable in terms of money cause they are all so loaded but that kind of makes it fun and fantasy.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2536667 02/11/15 12:30 AM
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I have also enjoyed that show. It is complete escapism and reminds me of "Sex & The City" only this show is set in LA and they are older and Divorced. Great fashion, lots of escapism and completely unrealistic for 99% of the population.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



123Gwen #2536712 02/11/15 02:47 AM
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Me too! I'm also a fan. I miss Janeane Garofalo. But it's still fun to watch!


Me: 38
H: 43
Kids: 2,4
T10 M6
BD: 1/14
11/14: H moves out
Lorelai #2536817 02/11/15 02:22 PM
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So fun to watch. I'm only on episode 7 so I am planning another binge watch next time the girls go with their dad.

Even though the life style is completely unrelatable the writing is good enough that I can relate to the feelings. It was good for me to especially watch the ow character and to not completely hate her but to see that she is just an idiot and in way over her head.


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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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