A New Day

[Lifes Twists]

I hope so too daring. Now she and her attorney can drag this out as long as they want, it won't cost me much so let her spend the money she does not have. I hope she wakes up and smells the roses.

[Lifes Twists]

So, I got call this evening that the attorneys got the message I was not going to take it anymore and they got the issues with the agreement straightened out. Her attorney agreed to everything I wanted and will be presenting it to her once I see the revised draft. Right now the feeling is this part of my journey may be over next week.

I don't plan on giving up on the marriage. I just feel due to my wifes mental illness and her fixation on getting the divorce we need to get this done so she can move beyond it. Maybe she will finally start to heal and come out of the tunnel. I won't be holding my breath. if she comes out then it will be her decision to work on herself and try and catch up to me.

I do expect both of us will suffer some level of depression once it is done. I will have to make sure my daughters keep an eye on their mother once it is completed.

[Lifes Twists]

Things are fairly quiet here as we prepare for Christmas. The tree is up and decorated. The girls are having the usual spats that ten sisters have. My middle one is trying to through things at me to see if she can get a rise out of me, basically testing me. I tell her she is an adult now and has to make her own decisions.

An interesting interaction happened between me and my girls the other day. I went out after Thanksgiving with some of my class mates. One of them sent a picture of us sitting at a table in a local bar. I enjoyed myself greatly and decided to put the picture as the background on my laptop. There are 5 of us in the picture, 3 woman and 2 men. My girls saw it and immediately started to ask me questions. I told them that I had a right to go out and enjoy my self. My middle one asked me which was my girlfriend. I was vague and asked her why would it matter. She responded ," So I know who to be bitchy with." I was a bit shocked at this response. She has been in my face that her mom has a right to do things. I don't really know how to read this. Is she feeling that someone may get between her and me? Is she secretly hoping my wife and I will get back together? I don't plan on clearing anything up for now. I want to see where it leads.

[Smurf_SMR]

So I know who to be bitchy with."

What a terrific sense of humour!

Hope you saw it as a joke, my daughter said something vaguely familiar, reference wicked step-mothers etc

Think you might be looking to deeply and a bit over sensitive!

[Lifes Twists]

Any thoughts on sending a christmas card? Do you send one or not?

[Matt165]

Yes, great question! I was wondering the same thing!

[Lifes Twists]

So today my wife sends me a email about the health insurance that she tried to have me removed from and how I need to get certain tests done before the end of the year. She also actually include an update on stuff that she is aware of with the girls. I wrote back that I did not feel that i could get things like colonoscopy done by the end of the year and not sure it would affect things since our divorce should be done early next year. I then filled her in on issues I was aware of with the girls.She responded back

"I’m thinking on the other issues you mention. They all (the girls) seem to be going through turmoil."

I am not sure why all these MLCers feel that the kids won't be affected by things. I can't imagine how her thinking on the issues will go. Definitely interesting little interactions with her recently. I wonder where these will go.

[Lifes Twists]

So, it has been a while. Holidays went reasonably well. Kids are everywhere. Youngest is still angry. I have to hope her counselor will help her work through it.

I just got the revised draft for the divorce settlement. Hours before we are to be in court tomorrow morning. This was after no return contact from her lawyer and with prodding to see where they stood on things. I will probably be divorced tomorrow. I don't plan on stopping at this point. This will just be another twist in the road that we are on.

I will post more tomorrow after I find out what happens in court.

[Lifes Twists]

So I am up and getting ready for court this morning. I am sad that we are at this point. Not the best night of sleep. I can tell that by our recent interactions that she has laid most of the blame now on my parents for what has happened. The other reason I can tell this is because of the agreement. She is walking away from the house. There is over 120k in equity in it. Because it is next to my parents house she wants nothing from it and will quick claim it to me. I will also have 7 years to refinance it. In some ways I wish she had forced me to sell it. It would have been easier. There are good memories here, but also bad ones. I do plan on finishing it and selling it as soon as possible. This will make my elderly mother extremely angry. I do want a fresh start and feel this must be done once I am employed again. I have my eye on a nice wooded lot that would be a great site for a log home.

Oh well, time to get set for court.

[job]

I am sorry that your situation has come down to the wire and she still chooses to walk away. I will be thinking of you today and hope that everything will be done in a calm and civil manner.

As for your home, I think you are wise in finishing it up and then you can decide if you want to sell it or not. Time heals wounds and you do not know what the future holds, i.e., as to whether the timing is right in selling or you opt to remain there because you like all of the changes.

Please be kind to yourself today.