Wonka You make me laugh which is what I really need these days, thank you for that. Seriously.
You're welcome!
So with your magic crystal ball and years of experience, how do you see this situation turning out? I don't know why I ask, just obsessing as usual.
If I can change into God, then just maybe I'll be able to read the crystal ball perfectly. Who knows how your sitch will turn out. However, I do want to emphasize that your actions DO have influence on W and your situation.
Do you think that once the AP is out of the picture she will calm down and reevaluate her choices?
We cannot answer this because we are not inside your W's mind. This process is different for each OP based on their personalities, backgrounds, cultural influences, etc. Some WASes do see how things are playing out. Some just simply push forward because it is very hard to climb down from this path and admit that they were/are wrong.
Unfortunately, as long as they get their "fix" or "hit" from the OP drug they're not in a reflective state of mind. It is all ME...ME...ME.
So now WAW informs that me the Disney day trip (the one I hd been dreading) is off. She doesn't want to have "anything to do with me on that day.", She emailed that to me during one of her spews. I did not reply.
That at least takes care of that issue - I was uncomfortable being with my WAW for that long anyway. I was afraid of being trapped with her and not being able to escape from one of her spews or he constant texting with the AP. I hope she enjoys Disney!
She is taking our kids s9 and D6 to Disney. She had originally asked me to go as "family time". Now, she is angry at me and uninvited me. I could ask her to please let me come but that is not going to happen.
Here is her email line -
And cancel the trip to Disneyland. I want no part of you there with me and the children.
No interaction today but over the weekend she emailed she wanted to take the kids to UTAH for their Spring break. I said I would like half of the Spring Break time. She became vey angry and "punished" me by banning me from Disney with our kids on a day she had planned.
Later on we talked and I agreed she could take them to UTAH for the week.
Here is the email exchange - my WAW is A and I am J
A Dec 20 (2 days ago)
Kind of far out but I'd like to take the kids to Utah to visit I think I asked you this before but I can't remember if you responded. Thoughts?
J How about we split the time? Sent from my iPhone
A Dec 20 (2 days ago)
If I leave on Saturday with them, I'll get there Sunday and would have to turn around on Wednesday to get back. I suppose it's doable but that seems quite rushed.
J Dec 20 (2 days ago)
We will have to split the time 50/50. As the time gets closer I will review schedule to ensure equal times. Sent from my iPhone
A Dec 20 (2 days ago) to me Doesn't it get old being this much of an [censored]?
A Dec 20 (2 days ago) to me Then I'll be adjusting some times that first weekend in January so we have equal time then as well.
And cancel the trip to Disneyland. I want no part of you there with me and the children.
Kind of far out but I'd like to take the kids to Utah to visit I think I asked you this before but I can't remember if you responded. Thoughts?
This was positive and she asked for input.
J How about we split the time? Sent from my iPhone
A Dec 20 (2 days ago)
If I leave on Saturday with them, I'll get there Sunday and would have to turn around on Wednesday to get back. I suppose it's doable but that seems quite rushed.
She had a very valid point right there.
J Dec 20 (2 days ago)
We will have to split the time 50/50. As the time gets closer I will review schedule to ensure equal times. Sent from my iPhone
This is where you f@cked up. You just practically ordered her around that it had to be 50/50 with no flexibility by offering some alternative dates/suggestions. You simply shut down the lines of communication with this type of response. Do you now see this, Jan?
A Dec 20 (2 days ago) to me Doesn't it get old being this much of an a--hole?
This comment isn't too surprising at all considering your earlier response.
A Dec 20 (2 days ago) to me Then I'll be adjusting some times that first weekend in January so we have equal time then as well.
And cancel the trip to Disneyland. I want no part of you there with me and the children.
That no go Disney email come out of sheer frustration.
There's a way to save this and regroup.
I suggest that you say this (you can make any changes as you see fit):
W,
I am sorry that you feel this way. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be with my inflexibility about the Utah trip. After thinking about it some more, I recognize that it was unhelpful to you. It just makes sense logistically for you to take the kids with you for that length of time. Although I will miss the kiddos like crazy which was why I reacted the way I did as it will be the LONGEST time apart from them. I am sure you probably can relate to those feelings as a parent.
Thank you for listening and understanding where I was coming from.
