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bdub Offline OP
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Rpp,
My weekend was good. It was an off weekend for me but I got to see s13 win a basketball game and s10 play in 2. I got the rest of my christmas shopping done and finished the weekend off with a couple cold ones and some quiet time :-)

I have always been the one to set up the budget and pay the bills. The first thing I did was seperate finances in order to protect my assets. The one positive thing I have heard from WAW is that she now appreciates the way I handled our finances.


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bdub, what's going on this week? Busy with kid stuff?



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bdub Offline OP
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rpp,
This weekend : I have the boys this weekend. Today is basketball practice for 13 early and then a game for s10 today and tomorrow. Yesterday was my birthday so last night dinner was my choice so we got my favorite pizza. A friend of mine stopped over with his 2 boys and we ended up in the barn playing basketball. Of course it was way too competetive so I am pretty sore this morning. It won't be long and s13 will be beating me on a regular basis. No plans for tonight but I am sure we will come up with something fun. Thankfully christmas shopping is done so I will be avoiding the stores from now on at all cost.

One of the best christmas light displays in ohio is less than 30 miles from here. I am not sure I can convince the boys to go but that is what I would like to do.


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bdub Offline OP
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Wednesday I withstood a barrage of "nasty grams" from WAW. She was baiting me into a fight and I responded a few times and then let it go. Her last few texts were threatening and belittling.

She sent receipts with s13 and wanted me to pay half of some clothes she bought for the boys. I took pictures of enough receipts to match what she sent and told her we were even. I spent more but I am not the least bit interested in asking her to share.
One of the things our MC/DC told us in our last session was that " keeping score" and "nit picking" are major reasons people fail at doing what we are trying to do.


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Maybe it needs to be more clearly spelled out in your agreement.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Bdub- Take this with a grain of salt - just totally my opinion. Do you really want to be dealing with receipts with her for the next 8 years? Is there a way you guys can come up with an annual number that she can operate with (can always be adjusted for cost of living increases)?

In my situation we are splitting the cost of extracurricular activities and any medical bills that my insurance wouldn't cover and that's it. I'd pull my hair out having to bother with receipts with STBX all the time, but thats just me.


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bdub Offline OP
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It is spelled out perfectly in our agreement. The problem is that the agreement is not signed.

We agreed that clothing cost would be part of the support and that support would start when she signed the house over to me so I could refinance in my own name and lower the payment. I agreed to pay her the lump sum we agreed on at that time. However, she decided not to sign anything over until we sign the dissolution papers.
Now we are stuck. Right now we are both buying stuff for the boys here and there just to get through. However s13 needed dress clothes for the basketball team and then s10 out grew his basketball shoes. I bought the shoes she bought the rest. It was within 50 cents of being exactly equal.

Question now : She has asked me to pay back support for the past few months. I have no problem supporting my kids. However, I am not including the amount added in for clothing since I have spent the same amount on them she has.
Is that reasonable?


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That's sorta where I was going, you each spend up to a certain amt and anything over that is the responsibility of the purchaser.

But you had some sort of agreement, there's more to this story.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
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bdub Offline OP
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raliced,
We talked about doing the receipts once a month and both decided it would be a horrible way to go.
Since we make roughly the same amount of money and have the kids 50-50 we decided support would be half the cost of ins, half the school lunches and 100 a month for clothing. The ins and lunches are a firm number backed by history. The clothing allowance thing we just pulled out of thin air. Is $ 2,400 a year a reasonable figure for s10 and s13?

Bear in mind her family and my family both are big christmas spenders and we have always had big christmases so that accounts for a chunk of their clothing needs.


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bdub Offline OP
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Help me clarify labug. What are you digging for? I would be glad to go into more detail, just not sure what you are after.


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A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
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