Still doing LRT....

[Sotto]

Hi okjpc

For me, I just figured that I have spent the last 10 Christmases with H and SS. It wouldn't feel right for me to just ignore it. I guess it was just about me trying to be the person I want to be through all this madness. I also decided to send a little email to H's family, wishing them a merry Xmas.

I figure no-one can be really offended by you sending them good wishes. But they may be offended if you don't. I thought H and SS would respond, which they did, and now it is done.

I think as long as it won't mess up your Xmas in any way, and you don't have any expectations, then send the text. I decided to do it on Xmas eve instead of Xmas. Doing it on Xmas eve felt less intrusive to me.

Good luck with whatever you decide, and have a merry xmas! Toots x

[twinmom]

Merry Christmas Toots, hope your day was enjoyable.

[Sotto]

Yes, we had a pretty enjoyable day thanks. Mum, Dad and I were invited over to a friends house Xmas morning for some drinks and nibbles. So we spent a couple hours over there. After that, we had a late lunch and opened presents, then watched a movie.

I watched the Queen's speech for the first time ever, so managed to achieve a little long held dream there. Earlier in the day I didn't think of H too much, but he was on my mind later in the day when it was quieter.

But overall, it was as nice a day as I could have expected, given everything, and I'm pleased it is now 'done.' Hope you had a good day too...Toots x

[Pink17]

Hi Toots,

I am glad you sent the text wishing H and SS a Merry XMas. I agreed with you that you had so many XMas together that was very polite to send them wishes. I am finding out that maintaining a good friendship can be a good way to have contact.

I am glad you had good XMas, my dad passed away a few years ago and my mom is 5000 miles away. So, I envy you to have mom and dad so close and giving you comfort.

I am very curious and excited to find out what will be your next goals. You said previously that it's about 6months of DBing and that you will reassess your sitch. Let us know, so we can try to give some ideas.

Hugs,
Pink

[Sotto]

Had a nice 'late Xmas' with my sister's family today. Felt good to be out on the road and catching up on their news. Tomorrow I have SS and his mum coming for some lunch and presents.

Feel my PMA has taken a dip recently. It was hard having a virus before Xmas. Then I pulled a muscle in my chest when I coughed, and then the holidays to get through. It hasn't been awful, but I have felt 'dented' by it and have had low moments.

But I can feel positivity on the rise again....you can't keep a good woman down for long! I have a couple of nice things planned with friends next week, and then it is 2015, and who knows what this coming year will bring for all of us.

For now, I've just poured a little glass of wine and am catching up with sitches on the forum thinking.....gosh, I'm lucky to have found these guys.... x

[Maybell]

(((Toots)))

Yes, this is a helpful support crew.

Happy new year! 2015 is going to rock!

[Pink17]

Toots,

You sound really good. And as you said, who knows what 2015 will bring to us all.

I hope it will be better then 2014, it was probably the most difficult year in my life. A lot of bad things happen then.

So, do you know what will be your resolutions for next year? Did you finish your new set of goals. You mention that it would be six months soon and that you would review what you are doing and what you could do next.

Today, I am all mixed up, confused. H came to the house on the 26, ate dinner with us. He was very nice, but was quite again, then he said he was tired and left.

Sometimes I just wish that he would make a decision, any decision and not be in Limbo land.

Well, hope you are having good days now, you sound very positive.

Hugs to you.
Pink

[Sotto]

Yes, I do need to think about resolutions. Most years I have some, but 2015 is an important year! Pink, sorry you are feeling a bit confused. Just try and remember to be the lighthouse - solid and sure - even if your H is getting tossed about by the waves. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon...

I had a good visit with SS and his Mum today. They decided to make a trip of it and book an overnight stay, so I'll see them tomorrow too.

We exchanged presents and opened them. Then SS handed me a present and said this is from my Dad. I felt a bit wierd, but opened it with them. It was a brooch from a local art gallery. There was also a Xmas card, saying Merry Xmas Toots, love from H and SS.

I was taken aback really. Some years I don't think I even got a Xmas card from H when we were together! Sent H a little text saying we had a good visit & thanks for the gift. He hasn't replied.

[Faith2b]

Omg Twinmom my ex has had a girl for 3 going on four weeks and I am devastated the kids have been around her.I think that it is something I cant stop and it definitely will let him see he is in the wrong faster. It may be harder on us but hey this is in no way easy and if we don't let go and let them mess up then we will be alone and our kids will be around the OW anyways. This is the thing I cant shield my kids from pain I can only be their for them when the hurt and assure them that Im here and that their will be an end to the hurt regardless if me and daddy come back together. This is a family affair and we have to remind ourselves that regardless we can all be apart of the moving forward process even when we don't like it.

[Sotto]

For a while I have felt that everything in my sitch was all bad news, but things have seemed a bit better in the past few days:

*Received a nice Xmas gift and card from H (very unexpected...)
*Got friendly emails from PILs in respnse to my Merry Xmas email.

I was really pleased by the PIL emails. Last time I emailed them in Sept, I got terse replies, and I felt they believed I had done something wrong. At Xmas, I decided to send a brief email wishing them Merry Xmas, just because it felt like the 'right' thing to do. And I got such a positive response. FIL sent a brief but warm response, and MIL a long newsy email about the family, with a final paragraph about how much she misses my smile and hopes this is a better year for me.

They and I had become good friends and I had felt 'forsaken' by them after their curt responses last time. I think if they didn't know about H's A before, they do now. And I'm glad I didn't need to tell them.

Had a good visit with SS and his Mum. They stayed for 2 days locally, and we got together for the afternoon each day. H's XW told me that H 'wasn't sure' about any of his Xmas plans, so she mostly has SS this Xmas - interesting...

Anyway, it feels nice for things not to be looking quite so hopeless - but I won't have any expectations of course ;-)