Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
I probably missed half the ?s


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Originally Posted By: jim0987
Hi ed,

Purely personal opinion but I suspect that now you are in your own place the MIL angst is rapidly fading for you and it has more of a fresh start feel. You also seem to be getting much more time with S11.

The positivity in your posts now compared to a few weeks ago is amazing to see. How much the rings played into that only you know.

I think your right to be concerned by MIL but rather than worry take positive steps to protect yourself. Maybe see if you and your W can make some sort of written agreement. Ive seen a bunch of posts on this from someone far wiser than me (I think theodon).

If your W can stand up to MIL now then I would say that's a good sign for her future.





Thanks Jim

Yes I want to move it forward, hit a few blocks there w not wanting to contact me being one but I still wanted to move on and sort the bank account into my name, Chrimble has blocked that one. I can get an account set up ok but the issue is getting the overdraft set up etc etc so I need to sit with a personal banker first. So January it is for that one.

In the meantime getting my 180 on not putting my head in the sand on finances some activity in finishing the last few bits from the old place and sorting out those here. All done here bar a bit of a finangle for an extra payment as I had to move the rent date (letting agents messed up) and sorting myself onto the right utilities tarrif and giving Virgin Media a kick as theyve overcharged me £20!

As to W standing up to MIL, I've let go on it and told w so a little while ago. Its not my place to tell her how to interact with her mother and if she wants to stay a silly little girl in her mothers eyes - Ive heard MIL say that and boy did it fry my onions at the time - and do as she's told (which will admittedly not be great for me either way) then if I didnt change it in 15 years its certainly not my battle now. I hope she will but its her choice.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Originally Posted By: edz

its certainly not my battle now. I hope she will but its her choice.


Yep. smile


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
W texted me tonight to ask was I around the office tomorrow as she'll be in the area. Asked what she needed she said nothing and was just going to meet up but I'm not free. Said I can take an early lunch so we're meeting for coffee.

Sad in a way that I'm not thinking PMA opportunity but is this a financial bomb drop frown and on party day too. Well I'll be my new self and live in hope for now, after all I don't know w has agreed with mil.

I suppose time will tell.,


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
I'm sure it will be fine. (i can give you loads of positive possibilities if it helps - but they are all just mind reading)

Just have no expectations other than you'll show how well you're doing and to be excited about the party.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
I agree thats definitely the plan.

thanks jim


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
waiting for her to arrive will post later..


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
All ok. will update later on, party time tonight. .


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Cryptic but good


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Hi jim. no just typing on my phone smile w and I ran through s' s Christmas presents and how were splitting days. not having him the night of the 25th now which is sad but I agree is better for him than switching after dinner in the middle of playing with his presents at ws but is coming to me from boxing day morning for 2 days instead. w is coming over to drop him and open her gift from me.

was well presented calm happy and pma throughout. w didnt comment on me not wearing my ring. helped her find some sharpie pens for s decorating plates afterward and chatted avoiding r questions and heavy points. w touched on her job and money but nothing else and im not worrying about things that havent happened. ill post more later/tomorrow.

cheers all for the support.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Page 4 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard