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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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I feel weird here too. BF is not going to want to R with me in the future. Can I stay?


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 883
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Posts: 883
Ride it like its stolen, little!


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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(((Little))))

Ride that horse!!!

Its a rollercoaster so you'll feel sad its the down after the up of your apartment news. But you're getting an apartment


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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I think it's just the finality of it. Know that BF is parading OW in front of other friends and acquaintances. Depressing.

Oh well.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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Also, I guess I'm still pissed off. I wasted 10 years on a guy that turns out to be a huge turd.

Truly, I have no one but myself to blame. I knew this was the person he was when I started dating him even if I didn't want to admit it. He did this to someone before me and it was a huge, blinking neon sign to how our R was going to end. BLECH.

It's common to think you're different and your R is different and it will pan out differently, but you know what? Unless someone wants to change and works on it, ain't nothin' changing.

I'm both angry on a "how could you do this to me you stupid creep" level and a "I should have been smarter" level.

This too shall pass, I guess. Can't change what occurred and he's certainly not feeling guilty or worrying about it.

Just venting for the millionth time.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Posts: 1,720
Little

You've every right to be angry at him (and yourself) and its perfectly natural reaction. Genuinely though if he is not one who will change, you deserve better and new you will have it.

That's something I feel really confident about.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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Ah, you're in that phase. Trust me. It mellows out.

If you are like me, then you stayed in the R for 10 years not because you weren't being smart, but rather because you saw something good in it. Don't let these current circumstances blind you to that. There were - obviously - good times in your R and that means it was not 10 years wasted. It's all just part of your life story. What this teaches me is the I shouldn't take for granted that the people currently in my life will always be there. Must make the most of my interactions with them while I can...


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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I guess there's just a huge "HOW COULD SOMEONE TREAT SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THIS" freak out going on in my brain.

Ending relationships can be done one of two ways. The way BF picked is like shoving someone in front of a train.

Then he has the nerve to tell mutual friends, "I still love her, and I know I cheated, but you gotta understand...."

Yeah, whatever, buddy. Here's where you can shove it.....


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 924
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Posts: 924
HOW COULD SOMEONE TREAT SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THIS"

I keep asking myself this too. You will not know this, because you do not think this way. I'm sure, even if he explained it to you, it probably would not make sense or be of any comfort.

Yuck

Last edited by u-turn; 12/17/14 10:06 PM.

Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Because he is being entirely selfish and justifying it to himself so he doesnt have to face and/or accept the guilt for his behaviour (been there and unfortunately done that)

he didnt end your relationship in a good way and if he ever connects with his conscience that is going to weigh heavy on him.

in the meantime you can be awesome knowing you did the right thing


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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