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A Message from Michele
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Re: Let the thread begin [Re: mishka422] #2517762
12/16/14 03:23 PM
12/16/14 03:23 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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I saw this on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share:

15 Really Annoying Things Christian Singles Hear

“I can’t wait to see the person God has for you!” Yeah me too, that’s the point, keep bringing it up, please.
“God is just waiting to give you someone really special.” – As if all those who’ve already married aren’t.
“God isn’t saying no, He’s saying not right now.” Yes. I see that. Thanks so much.
“Jesus is enough.” Well, now I feel terrible AND single. Appreciate it!
“You just need to focus more on God.” And you need to focus more on not saying ridiculous things.
“Have you prayed about it?” Only every moment of every day of my life. How about you?
“Have you tried online dating?” Is that code for: ‘You’re desperate’? Plus, my 30-day trial ran out.
“Singleness is a gift!” In that case I’d like to speak with customer service because I’m in need of a return.
“I have a friend who’s single, too.” And I care because…? Unless they’re cute and you’re going to hook me up!
“You’re just too picky.” Oh, is hoping for someone of the opposite sex with all their teeth in place asking for too much?
“You’ll get a ring by spring!” Apparently my love life has frozen over, because I’ve been stuck in Polar Vortex.
“God will bring him/her at the right time.” As opposed to the wrong time? Or ANY time?
“What have you done to put yourself out there?” Oh, nothing. Just online dating, blind dates, singles groups, bible studies, and a small casually placed ad in the paper.
“Why are you still single?” Why are you still talking to me?
“Your future spouse isn’t just going to show up at your door!” or better yet “Stop looking and he/she will show up!” Wait…so I should wait, or he’s going to show up at my door? Which is it, people? Either way…not helping.


Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2517854
12/16/14 08:08 PM
12/16/14 08:08 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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Profile gem

"He also should have the same personality as I mentioned. Besides that, he should also be sane."


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2517860
12/16/14 08:25 PM
12/16/14 08:25 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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Profile gem 2

"Pasta as a food group is the stupid cute boy you promise yourself you'll break up with and then he takes off his shirt"


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2517863
12/16/14 08:27 PM
12/16/14 08:27 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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Hot day! Profile gem 3

"I will pick up worms on a rainy day and put them back in soil"


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2517931
12/17/14 12:43 AM
12/17/14 12:43 AM
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Rick1963 Offline
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Wii when I started dating I met this red head. 1st date was at the beach. 2nd date at a bar. 3rd date at her place. Her test was her dog. If he didnt mow me down I was good to go. He loved me. She said next time "you can have your way with me". So I hid my POF account.

Today I get an email from a Chinese lady who we emailed each other back in 2012? Last comunicativo she tried killing herself last year. Today she says hey Rick im in NYC.

Life is good


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Re: Let the thread begin [Re: Rick1963] #2517993
12/17/14 03:57 AM
12/17/14 03:57 AM
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whatisis Offline OP
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Lol Rick. Hey, my best friend just told me that a woman he dated for about three months... nine months ago and who disappeared without a word is coming to his place Friday to return a guitar she borrowed. Life is weird lol.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2518442
12/18/14 02:39 PM
12/18/14 02:39 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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I'm having a difficult time with my girls...and I've drawn a line in the sand. Forever I have been trying to get them to pick up after themselves, wash their dishes etc and I have tried different methods of trying to make this happen. I blew up a few times and their behaviour changes...for an evening and then we're right back to more of the same. I've told them how disrespected I feel etc. The past two months I have tried to hold my temper and approach it in a gentle reminder type way to no avail. Tuesday I'd texted D20 and asked her to clean up the dishes in the kitchen so that when I come home I'm not cooking in a dirty, dishfilled kitchen. I came home and the sink was still filled with dishes. I asked why they had not been done and she replied "I did mine" OMG, that was it. I told them both that I was taking all the dishes out of the kitchen and leaving them with a bowl, a plate, knife, fork and spoon and that's it. I told them that enough was enough. This has become not only disrespectful but abusive. I told them that it ends now. They need to tell me whether they want to live in a co-operative way or live with their mother. I said "let me know soon or I will assume you are both moving out" Then I went to a movie. Last night D18 was taking care of her dishes but D20 when she returned I found a dirty bowl, cup and an empty bag of some food item she bought. I left her a note "this gets cleaned up by the time I get home or I throw it out. This ends now or pack!" I am so done with this nonsense. So it's change your behaviour or get out...I'm that pissed.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2518461
12/18/14 03:21 PM
12/18/14 03:21 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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I think in the next few days I need to calmly sit down with them and explain that I am no longer willing to live this way. I am 56 years old and not spending any more time and energy on policing my adult children in regards to picking up after themselves. I'll ask how we can deal with this situation and if they are not willing to live in a co-operative fashion then they'll need to talk to their mother about living with her. She's battled with them for years about doing chores etc and apparently has been much more successful in getting some action. But her method is too outlast them and spend her time spouting and feeling anger. I'm not doing that. Uh uh. But I am at the end of my rope. I love them very much (and told them that too) but I'm not spending mid life doing this...it's gotta end NOW.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: whatisis] #2518521
12/18/14 05:47 PM
12/18/14 05:47 PM
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Underdog Offline
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Wii--I think this is exactly the approach you *should* take. You don't have to act like Voldy to get results.

I kinda laughed about your D20 washing her own dishes. LOL. That is something I would have definitely done back then. I think kids that age can be incredibly self absorbed... unless it's brought up to them.

FTR, I share your unhappiness at the dirty dishes scenario. A couple of years ago, my D20's commentary after dinner was "I'll do dishes later". Then at bedtime, "I'll do it tomorrow." She'd come up and find the kitchen clean, and I'd give her the stink eye and call her out. (She was in her self absorbed phase.) One day she told me to lighten up, and suggested I was OCD about dirty dishes. I told her back, "I'm not OCD. It just makes me happy to come down to a clean kitchen in the morning. If I knew it was one thing that I could do that made YOU happy, don't you think I'd do it?" From that point forward, she's never said a word about doing dishes. When she cooks, I do them. Last night, we both cooked and both cleaned up. And surprisingly, I'm in a much better mood when that little issue isn't just triggering my inner biatch. When Momma's happy, everyone is happy. Just sayin'. grin In your case, it's Daddy.

I let her live in her incredibly slobby room. I just shut the door. She knows that I want her bath (which is the main bath on the lower floor) kept tidy. It doesn't have to be sparkling, and she can keep her stuff on the countertops. She just can't let the makeup be smeared all over the sink so that the rest of us wonder if our hands are dirtier after washing them. I'm also not one of those neat freaks anymore. Our family room pretty much always has throw blankets thrown on the couch (not folded), and remote controls spewn, as well as shoes under the coffee table. But slobbiness and dirt does not work for me either.

Good luck getting it to end NOW.


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Re: Let the thread begin [Re: Underdog] #2518542
12/18/14 06:39 PM
12/18/14 06:39 PM
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whatisis Offline OP
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All I'm asking is a commitment to trying. I'm no neat freak...far from it but I'm not willing to spend my life policing my adult children about dishes and wrappers. I'm also not willing to spend my life cleaning up after them. I have all the dishes, cups and utensils in the trunk of my car. I'm done taking crap. This hurts me so much 'cuz I love them so much but it's time to respect myself. If they don't want to follow suit they can live elsewhere.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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