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A Message from Michele
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Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: SunnyB] #2517716
12/16/14 01:39 PM
12/16/14 01:39 PM
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labug Offline
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smile

The pressure's off.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: labug] #2517727
12/16/14 02:10 PM
12/16/14 02:10 PM
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bdub Offline
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Maybe he's changing rpp. How cool would it be if he could stay your bff AND come back to your M and be your H ?


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: bdub] #2517745
12/16/14 02:45 PM
12/16/14 02:45 PM
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Posts: 2,684
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: bdub
How cool would it be if he could stay your bff AND come back to your M and be your H ?


Here's the kicker, bdub. I'm not sure I want that. I'm in an odd place right now. Lots to think about during the next three months.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: SunnyB] #2517780
12/16/14 04:19 PM
12/16/14 04:19 PM
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Posts: 2,684
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Question for everyone: right now H takes D12 every Thursday, plus every other Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. (D16 never goes over there, her choice.) I was thinking about offering an additional weekday, Wednesday on the weeks that he doesn't have the weekend. He has not asked for additional time. Is there any downside to offering that?



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: SunnyB] #2517788
12/16/14 04:42 PM
12/16/14 04:42 PM
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labug Offline
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Why are you offering?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: labug] #2517792
12/16/14 04:49 PM
12/16/14 04:49 PM
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bdub Offline
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Don't make it too complicated. D12's head will be spinning.


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: labug] #2517795
12/16/14 04:53 PM
12/16/14 04:53 PM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: labug
Why are you offering?


For the sole purpose of playing nice and moving a little closer towards 50/50. No other reason.

H originally suggested 50/50 in the form of one week mom, one week dad. I said no, and countered with every other weekend, which really amounted to 2 days out of 14. He agreed. Later, but before the S, I offered our current schedule of 5 days out of 14. He agreed again. And that's what we've been doing for the past month, it is working well for both of us, and D12 is happy with it.

I'm just trying to keep in mind that he did originally propose 50/50 and inching towards that. If I were to propose it and he said no, then it would be no big deal to me. And D12 would never know.

Last edited by rppfl; 12/16/14 04:57 PM.


"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: bdub] #2517797
12/16/14 04:55 PM
12/16/14 04:55 PM
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bdub Offline
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I think instead of worrying about an extra day with D12 I might look into working with D16. I know as a father, I would be pretty concerned if one of my children didn't / wouldn't visit.


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: bdub] #2517801
12/16/14 05:06 PM
12/16/14 05:06 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,684
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: bdub
I know as a father, I would be pretty concerned if one of my children didn't / wouldn't visit.


Yes, bdub, I would be concerned, too. But I'm not the father she won't visit. I'm the mom who refuses to get in the middle. She knows from my perspective that she is welcome to go over there and that I'll help her logistically. But she doesn't want to, and I'm not going to make her.

She doesn't want to visit H because she sees him as a guy who cheats on his wife and walked out on his kids. He created that and it's his to fix.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: RPP: Blindsided and on my own (11) [Re: SunnyB] #2517805
12/16/14 05:24 PM
12/16/14 05:24 PM
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bdub Offline
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I completely understand what you are saying. I sincerely hope they can mend fences and get that relationship back on track.


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
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