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edz Offline OP
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Thanks Vanilla, it really does feel good just being here, s is in the bath covering the room in foam, we had a nice dinner together and watched some minecraft videos after a day helping him pick his mums christmas present (he picked it himself) and just hanging out.

Its been great.

Will get him sorted for bed shortly and then settle in for the evening. Bacon Sandwhiches in the morning before I take him back to W. It will be a long 5 days before he's back but I'll be at my dads for a couple of those and I know when he's here next it will be for our christmas together. I'll miss him and w on the day but, if things stay as theyve been the past few days, I know it seemed like it was going to feel so very much worse just a few weeks ago.

Thanks all.

Last edited by edz; 12/20/14 08:04 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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So bit of a rushed morning today. Dragged myself up to the noise of an alarm clock on a Sunday urgggh but a fine trade for s staying last night as well. Gave him a kiss to wake him up and let him stay in bed while I got the breakfast going.

After bacon sandwiches and some suitably strong coffee for me we got him all packed and went back to w. Gave her a couple of remaining christmassy shows she wanted that I have, hogfather and colour of magic and we ran through some bits. I need to pop back round at 3 as s forgot one of his Lego hero factory characters he brought and hasn't done a card for my dad, he had a personalised 2015 calendar but I'll get a card for s to sign. W also texted me and asked can I bring a cable for s to charge his game controller as she can't find one.

Went and did some errands returned some wrong sized light shades, picked up a card and some odds and ends and a small lyric canvas. Its not something I would have ever got before bd and is a stylised arrangement of the chorus to I will survive, yes I know not something men would normally go for but I'm a child of the 70s and 80s. Not sure anyone would pick up what it is but I've put it up opposite the bedroom so when I come out in the morning I'll get a reminder that my life goes forward even if w chooses not to share it with me, didn't think that could hurt for the £3 or so wink

Was going to go swimming but one pool had a dire special inflatables day on - ergo let's charge parents an extra £10 for pool time on a murky December day - and the other was straight out closed. I'll look into joining a club with a pool in 2015 but right now the budget is creaking at tins of beans so it can wait for a while.

Back home got the light fittings up to find one of the ceiling roses had been fitted with a weird adapter ring and one of the shades I took back for the other room would have fitted it arghhh but they're all up now. No more bare bulbs yay.

Sortedtodays washing and put fresh linen on s bed ready for boxing day and hoovered his room and just grabbing a coffee before taking a walk and maybe looking to see if there are any mad bargains in the big shops nearby.

Usual twinge of post s visit blues but I do feel like I'm slightly adapting to it. I wish nothing more than w and s will return to me for good in the future but if the last couple of days is the pattern going forward then I'll do as the canvas says, I will survive and more than that I will learn to live and love again.

Thanks all

Edz


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Went around with the bits as promised. S let me in w never got off her laptop on the sofa. Spoke to me but not saying that much and seemed rather sullen.

Hey ho, just concentrated on s got him to write out his card told him if I don't see him he should have a great Christmas day, I love him and I will see him on Friday for our christmas. Told w to have a great Christmas too but she said doubtless she'll speak to me before then.

Honestly, I wasn't planning on it unless she contacts me as that seems to work better for me and dB but didn't say anything. Told them to stay upstairs and I'd see myself out as its about 3c here at the most and s was unpausing the Simpsons on the PVR anyway. W didn't seem particularly interested but did tell s not to get too involved as they had gingerbread shapes to sort shortly.

So left and now at home, sorted away the washing and will sort dinner then a nice bath with a glass of wine I believe. Not sure why w is "cold" again today after some great calls and interactions over the past few days, even got called sweet yesterday when I took the cats bits around and snuck in a bottle of wine for her evening, but I'm not going to fret about it, she is how she is at the moment and was at one point joking about the shopping being delivered tomorrow (we always had a Christmas bet on how many items would be missing and I'd - normally it was me - have to brave the shops to get) did make me feel a bit pushed out as I won't be included this year.

Can't say she seems to be missing me at all but then she'd hardly mention it I suppose. I still have mixed feelings about detatching but right now I'm glad of it, I feel a bit lonely and the place seems a little empty and cold but a nice dinner and a hot bath may help with that.

Have a good one all.
Edz


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Hi Edz

Sounds like you're doing really well. I'm also sitting in my empty flat, thinking 'Oh well, have a glass of wine & some dinner etc.'

Spent the afternoon with my parents, which was nice - but I still find it hard to return to the empty flat for an evening. Funny, I didn't meet H until I was 35 and lived on my own quite happily for years....I guess it's just circumstances at the moment that make it feel harder.

Chin up and onwards to Christmas!!!


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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edz Offline OP
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Hi toots nice to catch up with you.

Thanks, Im trying, some days are better than others, Yes w and I met up at 29 / 30 and before then id lived alone a lot although I moved home because my mum was diagnosed with cancer but I can still cope happily with all the needed stuff, just miss the company and the conversation.

Yup will carry on you too, had a nice bath made a steak in pepper sauce dinner with a side salad and bread and finished the wine I started the other night.

Just chilling out now.

You take care

Edz


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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I'm jealous of your steak now. However I do have a slice of patisserie fresh black forest gateau so that sort of makes up for it.

Dont worry about whether your wife misses you. Just be. and I've said it before you sound sooooo much happier since you moved

Besides imagine a scenario where your wife cheerfully said she misses you - it would seem a bit odd wouldn't it.

At somepoint I'm going to have to figure out this living alone thing as I've never done it before, along with dating and who knows what else that single adults do (I was last single on my 3rd week of university). Apparently it seems to involve wine though....


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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edz Offline OP
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Oh yes, got to have wine or ideally a rack before last night I had 9 bottles in. Trick is *not* to drink it! ;-)


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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I am much much happier. Was initially happier but after that last issue with mil and that leading to me taking off my ring I do feel a lot more comfortable. I'm still very nervous of finances but there's a lot I can't control at the moment so moving past those issues and trying to focus on one day at a time.

Wouldn't worry too much about living alone Jim, sounds like you have the running the house fairly down and unless I've missed something you'll have the kids too most of the time. I can say when s is here the house is much much more busy and "full" then when its just me!

Last edited by edz; 12/21/14 07:50 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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An extremely windy day here at chateux edz (the weather not me) so I was awake half the night wondering was the roof coming off. Obviously didnt phase the cat as she was snoring on the sofa.

Working from home today (in the office tomorrow) and trying to get some finance stuff settled this afternoon but most of this stuff will need to wait until january now.

Hopefully having a couple of people over for a drink tonight but if not will see if I can actually get in the pool for some GAL exercise.

Other than that have a few last minute presents to wrap for S before I head off to my dads on Wednesday and then will down tools from work tomorrow until the 30th.

As I mentioned I had mixed feelings yesterday after s went back, by the evening I was feeling pretty chilled especially after a nice dinner, bath and wine and had an early night with the TV on in the bedroom and checking in on db'ers from the tablet.

Today I feel a little bit empty this close to the big day but hopefully that will all pass when I meet up with friends and go to my dads. Then of course straight back into christmas part 2 with s.

Will be checking in with you all, of course smile


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
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Posts: 1,720
I got attacked by a car door in the wind this morning, so be glad your at home.

Hopefully you'll have a relaxing couple of days.

is it the 27th your doing christmas with your S (thats my christmas with the kids and i'm intending to pretend the 25th is just another day)


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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