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A Message from Michele
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Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Calibri] #2517338
12/15/14 05:26 AM
12/15/14 05:26 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
L
Little Offline OP
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Little  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
I'm ashamed to admit I'm watching "The Carrie Diaries", the prequel to Sex And The City. I never liked that show, but this is a less dirty, charming coming-of-age story that is only loosely reminiscent of its predecessor. It focuses on the main character's tales growing up through high school. I'm enjoying it.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Little] #2517343
12/15/14 08:55 AM
12/15/14 08:55 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
jim0987 Offline
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jim0987  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
and this is one of the few times i'm going to say that shame is an appropriate reaction wink

Last edited by jim0987; 12/15/14 08:55 AM.

Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: jim0987] #2517371
12/15/14 01:36 PM
12/15/14 01:36 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
L
Little Offline OP
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Little  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
*giggle* It's a distraction. SHH!


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Little] #2517508
12/15/14 08:04 PM
12/15/14 08:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
L
Little Offline OP
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Little  Offline OP
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L
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
Feeling good. PMA is high. I think I'm really excited to have a space of my own for the first time in 10 years. I don't need to make my desires mesh with anyone else and all the decorating is up to ME. It's all my stuff and I don't have to live with anyone else's clutter (of which BF had a ton; he was a very mild hoarder who was very attached to "things"). That's making me silly-happy.

I'm finally at a place where I don't get sick to my stomach every time I ask myself what happens if BF never wants to reconcile. I miss him and our sitch makes me sad, but I know that I'll be okay with or without him.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Little] #2517512
12/15/14 08:17 PM
12/15/14 08:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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gan  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
So you got the in-law apartment? That move seemed to have been the quickest and smoothest ever! Glad to hear it has done wonders for your PMA.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: gan] #2517516
12/15/14 08:31 PM
12/15/14 08:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
L
Little Offline OP
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Little  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
I'm sorry, not exactly moved yet! I sign the lease tentatively on the 20th (Saturday) and then I'd start moving in after money exchanges hands, also tentatively set for the 26th. I'd start moving in that weekend, which is great. It's only 11 days away!!

But the prospect of this has lifted my spirits! I can't wait to shop for bathroom supplies and area rugs and furniture and curtains and.....HEEEEH!

I'm also super stoked the bedroom doesn't have ANY windows! If I put a folded towel in front of the crack under the door, no sunlight will come in at ALL and my sleep will remain uninterpreted on weekends!! HEEEEH!


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Little] #2517665
12/16/14 04:52 AM
12/16/14 04:52 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,852
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,852
UK
In the UK we have draft snakes, these are useful for blocking light to but help keep air flow. Comes in useful for breathing does air.

They also block noise in Vanillas house!

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/crafts/door-draft-stoppers-draft-snakes-460109

They are easy to make and can be super cute.

Vanilla


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Vanilla] #2517690
12/16/14 11:01 AM
12/16/14 11:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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gan  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Little - that's truly great. I'm glad the apartment looks like it will work out. As I said before, moving into my own place was a game changer…at least for a while. You're gonna love it!


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: gan] #2517713
12/16/14 01:32 PM
12/16/14 01:32 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
L
Little Offline OP
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Little  Offline OP
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L
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
New England
I was browsing Facebook this morning as I normally do and noticed that someone had mentioned BF by name in a comment, but I couldn't see the comment it was referencing. It looked really out of place.

IE: "I moved to X town, [BF's name], I don't live in Y town anymore".

BF's name is unique, so there's no thinking it was someone else. The only reason it'd look out of place like that is if I were blocked by BF and couldn't see his comment, first. But he told me after BD that he'd deleted his FB.

I switched to another FB profile I have (I signed up with a professional email intending to separate work contacts with personal ones, but never ended up doing it), and sure as !@#$, BF has indeed blocked me.

RIGHT. He told me he deleted his profile because he wasn't interested in the FB drama anymore and went on and on about how he found he was mindlessly scrolling just to scroll and FB didn't have a place in his life and he was glad of it. I wouldn't consider this a big deal because I know it was done shortly after BD, but it's yet another discovered lie on top of a huge pile of lies.

Why go on about it like that, you f!@khead? To sell the story? GRRR, you drive me up a wall!

While I know NC is for the best and I really don't need to see his new life playing out before my eyes, I'm also galled that I didn't do anything to him and yet I'm being treated like an a$$hole he has to avoid. He lied repeatedly, cheated, and left ME for someone else, and I'm the one blocked? By the man that's friends with every ex he ever had? Seriously?

It makes me so mad. What a chithead.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Re: Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4) [Re: Little] #2517735
12/16/14 02:28 PM
12/16/14 02:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,532
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Mozza Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,532
Ha, the social media anxiety... It really adds a layer on top of the old-fashioned breakup, doesn't it?

My friend has been trying for a couple of months to get me to mute or unfollow my W so that I wouldn't be affected by everything she posts. He's right that I've had crisis about the most innocuous things, though I got better. I dread the day that she and OM will go public with some interaction or pictures (I can't even think of a relationship update!). I'm surprised they haven't already, though I don't know if they have on his profile since I don't have access.

A month after she left, my W re-shared a video I had posted, thanking me publicly for it. I didn't know what to make of it. I just didn't react. I post about 10 times a year of Facebook, but I comment and like several times a week. None of my friends have liked or commented on a thing she posted since the S. She's probably mad about this, but they're likely just uncomfortable. I've had a couple of friends commenting to me on how weird some posts were for a woman like her, but that's it.

Back to you, Little. It's obvious you haven't detached, but this comes with time in my experience. You're right, it's probably good that you don't see his posts.

Originally Posted By: Little
While I know NC is for the best and I really don't need to see his new life playing out before my eyes, I'm also galled that I didn't do anything to him and yet I'm being treated like an a$$hole he has to avoid. He lied repeatedly, cheated, and left ME for someone else, and I'm the one blocked? By the man that's friends with every ex he ever had? Seriously?
This one, I don't buy. You've really done nothing to him? All of us here have reflected on our faults in the R to realize how we've contributed to our own situation. I find it much healthier, for myself and for a possible reconciliation, to be aware and even to have a "story" about it, than to say "I've done nothing!" Also, you just might have told his new GF that he's a cheater and keeps on sending you racy texts. ;-) And if you still think you've got more reasons than him to be mad at him, block him first and stick to your NC!

PS: Don't assume he's blocking you because he things you're an a-hole. There are many other reasons, such as covering his lies, sparing your feelings, avoiding interactions, etc. Also, it's possible he suspended his FB profile for a while (and told you the truth) then went back when he realized what it brought him.


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
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