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Joined: Sep 2014
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bravo61 Offline OP
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Posts: 414
just got notification from W's atty. they didn't even get our wedding date right on the form. i called to tell them and he advised me that the judge signed the papers last fri (12/5).

i'm now divorced. she didn't even tell me. struggling to not hate and be bitter right now. pretty devastated right now.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 54
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Posts: 54
Praying for you.


Me: 54
H: 58
Married: 29 years
Together 33 years
H admitted to A: 5/29/14
H moved out :6/15/14
OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H
D23
D18
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
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I'm sorry. Wish there was something I could do.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 413
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Posts: 413
So sorry to hear this for you. :-(


M:32,H 32
T:10, M5
BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger
H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15
Served D Papers: 10/15
Divorced: 11/15
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
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bravo61 Offline OP
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She still hasn't told me. She's called a couple of times to talk to the kids. I have them hang up when they are done. Really don't want to see or talk to her right now. I both love her & hate her so much right now.

My S has started keeping a journal and I shouldn't have read it but I did. He keeps his feelings inside & I've been worried about him. His postings break my heart. He pleads w/God to heal his Mom & fix his family. For her to make the right choices & don't let Satan control her.

I keep getting washes of memories that break me down. Like past Disney trips, or just laying in bed holding each other. I wonder if she ever does or is dead inside to any positive emotion regarding me.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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Very tough and it must seem that it's hopeless. Please believe you will be happy again This is an incredibly tough time and you have no choice but to endure it Their is one person who can help you with this and it's you you have to deal with this situation Get all the support you can and move forward. Like everyone I want the pain to go away but it takes time. Move on now. There is always hope and this need not be the end of your R. Live your life. You are a young man and have a lot of living to do. Be good to yourself.

I am not a vet and very very far from it but the above is my humble opinion

Take care. Rd

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 841
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Posts: 841
I'm really sorry this happened. Be strong for yourself and your kids. Know things will get better.


Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 414
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bravo61 Offline OP
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Been trying to not have any interaction w/XW in the last couple of days. She called tonight so I could say goodnight to the kiddos. Its usually them on the phone first but not tonight. She said thatshe got a bill from daycare for $500. Apparently, she thought that I had been paying and how sweet that was (I di d from time to time) beacause they had not been emailing her. Tough s*it. Thats your problem and I'm not gonna get in the way of reality smacking you in the face! I just told her that that stinks and was sorry to hear that and asked to speak to my kids. I made sure to hang up so as not to talk to her again. She still hasn't mentioned that we are now divorced.

I did start the planning for the trip. We will be going dog sledding, ice skating, tubing, and wilk prolly ride in a horse drawn sleigh. Not to bad for a part time dad with two small kids in his own.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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So sorry Bravo. I'm shocked that she hasn't even acknowledged it yet. That's really really rough.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,428
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Bravo, I'm so sorry to hear about your sitch. It says a lot about her that she won't even acknowledge the D!

I'm confused about the daycare money issue though.. are you not responsible for childcare expenses at all?


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

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